Rachael
by GraceRoseDawn
Summary: Keen adopts a shy four year old daughter who gravitates towards the least expecting person. When tragedy strikes,Keen and her colleagues will do whatever it takes to keep Rachael safe. Slow burn Keenler. (Warning for Action and Violence)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: "The Hardest Part"**

Keen watched the water drip off her face. It was the third time she washed her face within the last five minutes. Her hands were shaking she was so nervous.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Samar asked as she walked into the bathroom.

"I'm...I'm getting there." Keen replied. "The is suppose to be the best day of my life and I'm afraid I'm gonna be a bundle of nerves and ruin everything. What if she doesn't like me?"

"You're adopting her: she'll love you. Just don't over think things."

"You're right. I mean,look at me." Keen chortled, "I'm overreacting."

"No,Aram overreacted. That's the only thing he's been talking about. He can't wait to meet her tonight. You'd think he was the one adopting." Samar smirked, "So what does Ressler think about this?"

"Actually,I haven't told him yet."

"Elizabeth..."

"I know. I know I should have told him sooner,but I don't know how."

"You told me,Aram,Cooper,and Red just fine."

"To be fair,Red just knew,and I told Cooper because I had to put in my weeks notice."

"Hey,I'm not judging." Samar replied. "But I am going to miss you. When will you be back? The black site will be lonely without you."

"I'm not sure." Keen said as she lightly hugged Samar. Samar nodded and walked out of the bathroom as Keen followed shortly behind. Her eyes glances over her colleagues and landed on Ressler,who was filling up his coffee.

"Staying late?" Keen asked as she walked to him.

"Just a little." Ressler replied. He glanced at her and seen her nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot. "Are you alright?"

"No. Yes. Well,I...I have this thing and I wanted to talk to you..but I'll wait till you're done so we can leave together."

"I can leave now if it's urgent."

"No,Ressler,you don't have to do that. I have a file to look over anyway."

"Are you sure?" Ressler replied as he arched an eyebrow at her. Something was bothering Keen,no doubt.

"I'm sure." Keen replied as she went back into her office. She numbly looked over old cases until about hour or so later,a knock came at her door. "Come in." she said as Ressler entered her office.

"I was about to leave if you still wanted to talk..." Ressler asked unsurely,upon seeing the file clutched in Keen's hand.

"Oh no. Just gimme a second." Keen replied as Ressler nodded and shut the door back. Keen put on her coat and took a deep breathe. "Okay,Elizabeth,you got this. Just tell him your adopting a daughter today. Simple. Nothing can go wrong." Keen told herself. Although,it sounded more like a bad lie than pep talk. When she walked out,she seen Ressler waiting by the elevator.

xxx

Keen suggested they go to a coffee shop. Maybe the coffee would help her spill out everything she had too say. Instead,the coffee only made her more jumpy than before. Keen tapped her fingers nervously against her cup. They shared a little small talk,but most of the time it was quiet. A peaceful kind of quiet that could be destroyed with one sentence. Maybe Keen would never be able to tell Ressler that she was adopting a daughter. And surprisingly,she was okay with. It was best if Ressler just forgot that she ever wanted to tell him something.

"So what was it you wanted to tell me?" Ressler asked causally. Damn it! Can't you forget? Just this once?,Keen thought,but she didn't put it into words. She audibly sighed,which made Ressler lean forward. "Keen,what's wrong?" Ressler asked concerned. He probably thought someone was going to start shooting at them through the store window.

"Nothing's wrong." Keen lightly chortled. "It's what's right." Ressler leaned back in his seat and furrowed his eyebrows.

"Not following."

"Ressler I'm...oh god." Keen tilted her head back to stop tears from coming.

"Is it Red? I swear if he's up to something-"

"It's not Red. And these are not tears of sadness."

"Still not following." Keen sighed as she knew it was time to tell him.

"A month ago I applied to be a foster parent and today I'm adopting a daughter. I did all the paper work and everything,I just have to pick her up." Keen said as she closely studied Ressler's face. He showed no emotion. He just kept his usual scowl painted on his face.

"What the hell Keen..." Ressler's voice was cold as his stare.

"I wanted to tell you sooner,I really did. But I just-"

"You just what?"

"I.." Keen blinked,trying to think of a reason why she didn't tell him sooner,but she couldn't find one. "I just I didn't know how. I'm sorry Ressler."

"Don't apologize,it just makes everything worse." Ressler mumbled as he stood up from the table and placed money on the table for their coffee.

"Don't leave."

"You know,for a second I thought we became closer than this."

"We are."

"You're adopting a girl today and I'm just finding out. Yeah,real close." He scoffed sarcastically.

"I'm throwing a welcome party for her. Everyone's gonna be there and I want you to come too."

"It'd be best if I didn't show."

"Ressler..." Keen's eyes became glossy as she bit her lip to stop herself from crying. She didn't want to break down in a coffee shop.

"Congratulations Keen." Ressler said coldly as he walked out of the store.

xxx

Keen didn't bother to text Ressler. She knew him well enough to know that when he didn't want to talk to you,he was damn good at ignoring you. She figured she'd just forget about him for now. She wasn't going to be working at the black site for a while anyway. She drove to the foster home and checked in at the receptionist's desk.

"Hi ,Rachael will be out in a moment."

"Thank you." Keen replied. Rachael. That was her soon-to-be daughter's name. She went into the bathroom and washed her face for the fourth time that day. She tucked her hair behind her ears then untucked it again. She wanted to look perfect to Rachael. She sighed and remembered what Samar had told her: just don't over think things. Keen walked out of the bathroom and sat in a waiting chair. A care-taker walked down the hall holding hands with a little girl. She had mid-length brown hair and hazel eyes. Keen felt her heart beat fast in her chest.

"Hi." Keen said to the girl.

"Hi." The girl starred at the floor as the care-taker walked away.

"I'm Liz. Do you remember me,Rachael?" Rachael nodded. "I'm gonna take care of you from now on. You can call me Liz or mom if you like."

"Okay Liz." Rachael replied. Keen hoped she would have picked 'mom',but she knew it would take a while for Rachael to get used to her.

"Would you like to see your new house?"

"I guess so."

"Come on,let's go home." Keen said and held out her hand for Rachael to take. The little girl was hesitant,but she took it.

xxx

At the house,Keen showed her all the rooms,including what room Rachael would be staying in. Keen had prepared Rachael's room months in advance. She painted it a pale yellow and added a cute bed with new dressers,selves,lamps,and a fluffy yellow mat on the floor. Keen had bought coloring books,stickers,crayons,puzzles and put them in the selves. She even bought clothes about a week ago,once she had found out what Rachael's size was,and filled up the closet.

"Is this my room?" Rachael asked quietly.

"Yeah,do you like it?" Keen asked and Rachael slightly nodded. It wasn't a big reaction,but it made Keen's heart melt nonetheless. "You look around and come down stairs when your ready. There's gonna be people coming over to meet you. They're our friends." Keen smiled.

"Okay." Rachael replied flatly as she stepped into her room and slowly shut the door in Keen's face. Keen sighed,thinking there would be a lot of warming up for Rachael to do. Keen took a shower and changed into a causal green evening dress. Samar and Aram had arrived first,with present's in their hands.

"Come on in you guys." Keen said.

"Hey,look you great" Samar said to Keen.

"Ah,thanks,so do you."

"Where Rachael?" Aram asked.

"She's still upstairs." Keen replied.

"I got her a present. It's a Dora The explorer coloring book." Aram said, "Does she like Dora? Oh my gosh,what if she doesn't like Dora?"

"Calm down,Aram. She'll love it." Keen assured him as the door bell rang and she opened it to let Harold Cooper in.

"Keen." He smiled.

"Hey." She hugged him. Soon after,another knock came at the door. Keen's swallowed hard,thinking Ressler actually showed up. But when she opened the door,Red and Dembe walked in. She didn't mean too,but she frowned slightly.

"Lizzie." Red said as he hugged her.

"Not the people you where expecting?" Dembe asked

"Sorry,I'm just a little out of it."

"The lady of the evening!" Red announced as everyone's eyes went to the stairs. Rachael walked down the steps timidly.

"Come on sweetheart." Keen said as she walked over and took the little girl's hand then lead her down the rest of the way down stairs. More people (mostly neighbors) had showed up and welcomed Rachael with present's,hugs,and cheek pinches. Red gave Rachael lavish gifts,like a gold heart necklace and such. While the other presents where more normal,such as the Dora coloring book. Rachael didn't seem to like any of it though. She was bored and to shy to get to know anybody. The party went by fast,as everybody was having a good time.

"You picked the highest apple on the tree." Red said, "You'll have to wait for it to get ripe,but the wait will be worth it. Goodnite Lizzie."

"Good night Red." Keen replied as she watched him and Dembe leave. She knew exactly what he meant. Rachael was a handful,but she would come around eventually. When everyone left and the party was over,Keen took a shower and changed into her pajama's. She had been hopeful the whole night. Hopeful that Ressler would walk through the door. Every knock that came she would rush to get the door,thinking he would put aside their argument to see her daughter,but no,he didn't show up. He even didn't care about Rachael,and she was foolish to think he would. So much for forgetting about him,Keen's mind cruelly said to her. Keen washed her face again,for the fifth time that day,and wondered who had the worst night-her or Rachael. Keen went down stairs she seen Rachael lounging on the couch,watching cartoon's.

"What's your favorite cartoon?" Keen asked and Rachael shrugged. "Do you want some ice cream?"

"Uh-huh." Rachael smiled. It was the first time she had smiled. Of course Kids love ice cream! Keen thought as she gave herself a mental pat on the back. She had just taken the ice cream tub out when someone knocked on the door. Keen opened the door and seen Ressler standing outside her doorway,holding a huge pink teddy bear.

"Ressler...what are you doing here?"

"Uh-It's for Rachael." Ressler explained,looking slightly embarrassed for just holding the teddy. He didn't want Keen thinking he was a romantic sap that brought her teddy bears. "I came to apologize about being an ass earlier." he added as Keen waited for him to continue. But he didn't have anything else to say. That was his apology. Keen realized this and frowned.

"Seriously?"

"What do you want me to say Keen."

"Something."

"Well I don't-"

"Are we gonna have ice cream now?" Rachael called from the couch,interrupting them.

"Just a minute honey!" Keen replied,then focused back on Ressler. "Bye Ressler." she said shortly as she started to shut the door.

"Is that for me?" Rachael asked,starring wide eyed at the huge teddy bear that Ressler was holding. She had gotten up from the couch and stood a few feet behind Keen.

"Uh-Yeah." Ressler said as he tried to pass it to Keen so she could pass it to Rachael,but Rachael ran to him and took the bear herself. Her face lite up as she squeezed the bear.

"I love it!" Rachael exclaimed. "Thank you,thank you,thank you!" Rachael added as she hugged Ressler.

"Alright..." Ressler said as he literally peeled Rachael off of him. Keen thought Ressler was going to pull out a can of kid repellent and spray it on Rachael. He was so terrible around kids,yet they loved him.

"What's your name?" Rachael asked.

"Don."

"Short for Donald? Like Donald Duck?"

"No,not like...sure,like that." Ressler sighed.

"Can I call you Dee Dee?"

"DD?"

"You know,it's short for Donald Duck." Rachael explained. Keen didn't know it was possible,but Ressler's frowned deepened.

"Okay sweetie,let's go back inside." Keen told Rachael. She could almost see the uneasiness radiating off of Ressler. But she had to admit,it was fun watching him squirm. Who knew someone who jumped out of a moving car could so awkward around a four year old?

"Can we keep him?" Rachael 'whispered' to Keen.

"If you want a Grinch doll,I'll get you one." Keen joked back to Rachael.

"Bye Dee Dee!" Rachael said,waving her arms in the air,as she walked inside the house. Keen shut the door and stood on the porch with Ressler.

"Well she's a ray of sunshine." Ressler said sarcastically.

"You're actually the first person she's opened up too. People gave her present's,hugs,cards...and I gave her a home for crying out loud,but she somehow she likes you." Keen felt a pang of jealously wash over her. What did Ressler do that she didn't? If anything,Ressler was being hostile towards Rachael.

"I don't know. Whatever I'm doing I'll try to stop. Have a good night Liz." Ressler replied as he turned around and walked down the porch steps.

"Goodnite Ressler." Keen breathed out. She stayed on the porch for another ten minutes or so so before she went back inside. She went straight to the freezer and got a bowl of ice cream for Rachael. Keen wanted Rachael to like her. It was unfair that Ressler could just marched in here and be the highlight of Rachael's day. Keen wanted to be the highlight of Rachael's day. It was her daughter after all. "I've got ice cream!" Keen announced,smiling as she walked to the couch,only to find out that Rachael was curled up,already asleep. Keen sighed as she set the bowl on the table and fetched a blanket out of the closet and laid it over the little girl. This morning,Keen had thought the hardest part was meeting her. Now she realized that the hardest part was just beginning.

"Goodnite Rachael." Keen whispered and kissed Rachael's forehead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Thanks to everyone who read this and hopefully liked this. I love all my silent readers,but here's a shout out to the reviewers:**

Sugar1621

TheBlacklister23

Trisha Bailey

Guest

Nelly

Katie

 **Chapter Two: "Trying"**

Keen got dressed and washed up in seven minutes then she went into the hallway and knocked on Rachael's door. "Honey,get dressed!" Keen shouted as she went downstairs. This was going to be Rachael's first morning with Keen and Keen wanted to make a lovely breakfast that would amaze Rachael. Maybe then she would be able to talk to her. But that wasn't going to happen because Cooper had called Keen,saying she would have to get her stuff out of her office. _I'm sorry for the inconvenience agent Keen,but you have to remove your belongings out of your office. Another agent is coming. We all hope you're doing well,take as much time off as you need:_ was exactly what Cooper had said. Keen gulped down her coffee and made a PB  & J for Rachael.

"Oh no.." Keen said when she seen Rachael walk downstairs in her pajama's. "Sweetie,I told you to get dressed...uh-okay,just get a jacket." Keen added as Rachael ran upstairs. Keen got her keys and waited by the front door. Moments later they were both in the car.

"Is this a peanut butter and jelly?" Rachael asked as she inspected her sand which.

"Yes sweetie,don't play with you're food."

"I'm allergic to peanuts." Rachael said causally. Keen remembered reading that on Rachael's file. How could she forget something like that?

"We'll pick something up later." Keen sighed.

xxx

Keen held Rachael's hand as they went up the elevator to the blacksite. Keen headed straight for her office when Aram stopped her.

"I hope you know this is a very sad day for me." Aram said

"Aram..." Keen replied smiling.

"It won't be the same when you leave."

"I'm not leaving,I'm just taking a break."

"I'm still gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss Rachael too."

"Aram,you know where I live. You're welcome anytime."

"Oh. Yeah." He replied as if just remembering this. Aram gave a little wave and walked back to his desk. Keen rolled her eyes and looked at Rachael.

"Wanna see my office?" Rachael shrugged. Keen took it as a yes and went into her office. It didn't take that long to pack,she stuffed her belongings in two boxes.

"It's still unreal that you're leaving." Samar said,standing against the door way.

"For the last time; I'm not leaving."

"Damn sure feels like you are. I've already been introduced to your replacement."

"Replacement?" Keen asked.

"So how are you?" Samar asked Rachael,ignoring Keen.

"Hungry." Rachael replied flatly. Samar raised her eyebrow at Keen and Keen gave a look that said 'don't ask' so Samar shrugged it off.

"Cooper wants you in his office."

"Okay,thanks Samar." Keen replied as she and stacked the boxes on top of each other and set them by the elevator. She then knelt down to Rachael's height.

"I need you to wait here,okay? I'll just be a second." Rachael nodded as Keen walked to Cooper's office. When she was about to knock,his door opened and Ressler walked out. He gave her a slight glance and kept walking till he was seated behind his desk.

"Dee Dee!" Rachael yelled as she ran to Ressler and climbed on his desk.

"No,Rachael-don't!" Keen called after the little girl,but she didn't even look back at Keen. "Oh god no..."

"Agent Keen?" Cooper's voice said, "Can you come in please? There's someone I'd like you too meet."

"Of course sir." Keen said as she reluctantly shut the door and turned to Cooper who was standing next to a pretty blonde woman.

"This is Karen,she'll be taking your office till you get back." Cooper told her. Karen gave a stiff smile and walked out the door.

"I'm..being replaced?" Keen asked,the hurt evident in her voice.

"The office is yours when you get back,Agent Keen."

"But until then...I'm being replaced."

"It wasn't my call. I'm sorry." Cooper sighed.

"Huh." Keen scoffed, "Sorry does make everything worse." she mumbled under her breathe.

"Agent keen."

"It's fine. I just need a minute." She replied and walked out of the door,nearly bumping into Samar.

"Are you alright?" Samar asked.

"Yeah,I'm fine."

"Well I don't think Ressler is." Samar replied. Keen looked at Ressler,who starred intently at at file as Rachael laid across his desk,rambling on about something that Keen was sure Ressler thought was the most uninteresting thing ever.

"...So if you're not a secret spy,what are you?" Rachael was saying to Ressler.

"Someone who's trying to work. Get my off desk." Ressler replied as he looked up and seen Keen. "Children aren't suppose to be here." he said to Keen.

"I'm not a child. I'm a secret spy like you!" Rachael countered as she poked his forehead with a pencil.

"Come on ya little spy,let's get you home." Keen said as she lifted Rachael off Ressler's desk and rested her on her hip.

"Do you need help carrying the your boxes to your car?" Ressler offered. In all honesty,Keen didn't,but she didn't know when she'd be seeing Ressler again,so she nodded.

xxx

The boxes were in the trunk and Rachael was in the back seat. Keen and Ressler stood outside Keen's car.

"That's all my stuff. So are you gonna miss me?" Keen half joked.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'll take that as a no."

"How can you joke right now?"

"I have a kid now Ressler. I'm trying to be fun. You should try it sometime."

"You brought a child to the Black site. People handle classified information there. This is a top secret place Keen."

"A top secret place for a secret spy?" Keen replied as Ressler frowned. He obviously wasn't in the mood today. Or any day for that matter. "It's fine Ressler,calm down."

"Calm down? You could have gotten fired. Or maybe gone to jail. You're lucky no one above Cooper was there. Damn it Keen,do you even care if you work with me again?" Keen didn't even think about that. " _Us_. Work with us again." Ressler corrected.

"All my neighbors where at work and I couldn't leave her alone." Keen explained as Ressler's face soften.

"Keen are you alright? I mean with dealing with...all of this."

"If by 'all of this' you mean my daughter,then yes,I'm alright." Keen answer a little defensive. The last thing she needed was people thinking she couldn't handle her own daughter.

"I'm not trying to offend you,but if you can't do this alone then-"

"Then what,huh? I've had Rachael for one day Ressler. One Day!"

"You just look tired. Maybe you should-"

"Take her back? I'm not bringing Rachael back to the adoption center. Not now,not ever."

"Damn it keen! Will you let me finish?" Keen crossed her arms and gave a tight lipped frown. They heard a knock on the window of the car and seen Rachael tapping her tiny fist against it.

"I'll see you around." Ressler said as he walked away. But Keen knew that wasn't true. He wasn't going to visit her at home and she wasn't coming to work. They would not be seeing each other around.

xxx

"So you don't wanna play checkers,monopoly,Uno,or go fish. What do you wanna play?" Keen asked Rachael who was sitting on her bed. Keen stood in the doorway.

"I wanna take a nap."

"But you just took a nap."

"I wanna take another one."

"Sweetie,don't you wanna do something fun like color,or make something out of play dough?" Keen smiled hopefully,but Rachael laid down and turned away from her with a faint 'no thanks'. Keen sighed and walked downstairs and laid on the couch. She was feeling pretty sleepy herself now. _Ring Ring_.

"Hello?" Keen answered her phone.

"Lizzie! Is the princess getting her beauty sleep like you are?" Red asked.

"How did you? Red,where are you?"

"Outside your window." Keen stood up and seen Red standing there,looking throw her window. She had always opened the blinds for natural light,but now she was regretting that. Keen unlocked the door and let Red in.

"Why did you come here?" Keen asked.

"I wanted to find out what Rachael's favorite things are. Pony ride? She'll get it. Disney land? She'll go there. Anything that princess wants can be hers."

"I already said you don't need to spoil her."

"Oh,but I _want_ too Lizzie. So what does she like?" Keen bit down on her trembling lip as her eyes became glossy. She didn't know anything about Rachael. She didn't know anything about her daughter.

"I-I don't know. I don't know anything about her because she won't talk to me." Keen replied but it came out as nonsense through her tears.

"Come here."

"No. Just go...Please." Red nodded understandably and walked out the door. Keen shut her blinds and crumbled to sobs on the couch.

"Liz?" Rachael called as she walked down the stairs. Keen quickly wiped her eyes and plastered on a fake smile.

"Rachael,I thought you were taking a nap."

"I was but I heard talking."

"Oh. Did you want something?"

"No."

"Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Wanna watch tv? I think Sponge Bob is on. I could make some popcorn,Rachael. You and me could-"

"Is Don coming over?" Rachael interrupted.

"No. No,he's not."

"Why not?"

"Because...because I said so sweetie."

"Why?"

"I..." Why should she have to explain herself to a four year old? "Rachael,come here." Keen said as she tried to pulled Rachael in for a hug,but Rachael pulled away and ran upstairs.

xxx

"Things aren't amazing right now." Keen told Samar. They were sitting on a bench in the park as they watch Rachael stand by the swings. She didn't attempt to go on it,she just stood there,starring at the swings.

"They don't have to be amazing,they just can't be bad." Samar replied. Keen glanced down. "Oh gosh,they're _bad_?"

"I don't know Samar..it's only been a couple days. Maybe I'm overreacting."

"Again." Samar added.

"Wow,thanks." Keen said as they chortled. "Do you need a push honey?!" Keen yelled out to Rachael. Rachael slowly shook her head as she continued to stare at the swings. Samar noticed Keen visibly tense.

"She'll come around,don't worry. Why don't you get us a coffee and I'll watch her."

"I know what you're trying to do Samar. Allow me to 'clear my head'. But I'm okay. Really." Keen said as she got up and walked over to Rachael. "Are you having fun?" Rachael shrugged. "I heard swings are fun. Come on,get on,and I'll push you."

"No thanks." Rachael replied. If a stranger seen how sad Rachael looked,they would've thought Keen was abusing her. Keen could already see some parents giving her side glances.

"How about the slide Rach?"

"No thanks."

"Then play with something. You have to like something. Kids loves play grounds."

"I don't."

"Then what do you love?" Keen asked and Rachael shrugged. As if on cue to the day Keen was having,it started raining.

"Rain!" Rachael announced cheerfully as she tilted her head back and opened her mouth to catch the raindrops.

"Where's your jacket?" Keen asked worried.

"I dunno."

"Here,put on mine. We don't want you getting a cold." Keen said as she took off her jacket and knelt down to Rachael's height. Rachael shook her head 'no' and stepped back. She wanted to feel the rain. "Rachael,just put on my jacket. You'll make me feel a whole lot better,please."

"No jacket." Rachael said giggling and tilted her head towards the sky again. Keen took Rachael arm and put it through the arm-hole of the jacket. "No!" Rachael yelled and slipped her arm out.

"Rachael, _please._ " Keen begged as her grabbed the little girl's hand once more. Rachael tried to pull away from Keen's grasp but Keen held her. It was like tug-of-war. Rachael's hand slipped out of Keen's and she fell backwards into a mud puddle. Rachael sat up,covered in mud,and started crying. Keen stood there frozen,unable to wrap her mind around what had just transpired. She watched as Samar walked passed her and picked up Rachael.

"Everything's gonna be alright." Samar kept whispering over and over to Rachael until they all made it back to the car. Keen drove,Samar rode shot gun,and Rachael sobbed quietly in the back seat.

xxx

When they got home,Rachael ran upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom. After twenty minutes of going back and fourth,Rachael finally opened the door. Keen gave Rachael a bath and cut her hair where the mud had matted and made knots in it. When she was done,Rachael's hair was just past shoulder length.

"I think you look great. What do you think?" Keen asked Rachael,referring to her new hair cut.

"I hate it."

"Why? You look beautiful."

"If you didn't try to put your dumb jacket on me,I would have never fallen,and I would still have my long hair. Now I look just like you."

"It'll grow back Rachael."

"When?"

"In 6 months,your full length will blossom again."

"That's forever!" Rachael yelled and ran out the bathroom door. Keen went down the hall to find that Rachael had locked herself in her room again. Keen went downstairs.

"Tea?" Samar asked as she gave a cup to Keen. Keen was grateful that Samar had stayed.

"Thanks." Keen said as she took a seat on the couch.

"I talked to Karen today. She has about two kids,maybe she could babysit Rachael. It might be good for Rachael to be with other kids."

"Other kids were at the park." Keen replied dryly.

"Well maybe you should let Ressler take care of her for a day. She seemed to like him."

"Well Ressler doesn't like Rachael. I wanna do this on my own anyway."

"I admire that Keen. You wanted a daughter,so you got one. Your strong." Samar smiled, "But sometimes you can let others be strong for you."

Samar had stayed a little longer before she left. Keen went back upstairs and struggled to get Rachael to unlock the door,but eventually,she did.

"Are you still mad?" Keen asked.

"No"

"I'm about to make lunch,do you wanna help?"

"No."

"You don't wanna stay cooped up in this room all day,do you?"

"I want Dee Dee." Keen sighed. She wouldn't go to Ressler if Rachael begged her for nine hours straight. That would be admitting that she couldn't do this alone. Keen figured that if she spent a few weeks alone with Rachael,she would come around. Rachael would love her and forget all about Ressler. She was four after all. If Keen gave her icec ream and let her stay up all night,Keen would become her favorite. But two weeks past and nothing changed. If anything,Rachael started talking less and being even more distance. Keen still didn't know anything about Rachael. Well,she knew some things. She knew that Rachael loved Spongebob. She that knew Rachael hated spiders,and she knew that Rachael slept with her pink teddy bear every night. It made Keen wanted to burn that bear. It hurt her to know that that was the only thing she _knew_ Rachael loved. A month had gone by and Keen was looking more like walking depression than a mom.

"Hey Keen." Aram said as he walked into her house.

"Hey Aram. How are things at work?"

"Everything's pretty dull. It's like we're not a team anymore. Well,we aren't because your not here...I mean,I'm not pressuring you to come back or anything,I'm just-uhm. How's Rachael? Can I see her?"

"No! I mean,she's fine." Keen replied. She was embarrassed for people to know that Rachael still didn't talk to her. Rachael gave shrugs,nods,and no more then four words at a time. Rachael never wanted to play or do anything with Keen. Keen felt like she had failed Rachael.

"O...kay." Aram said awkwardly and walked out the door. It was evident that her friends were worried about her. She was trying to make it work with Rachael,but maybe it was time to listen to Samar. Maybe she didn't have to be strong all the time.

xxx

"Where are we?" Rachael asked as she stepped out of the car.

"It's a surprise." Keen replied. She took Rachael's hand in hers and walked up the steps to the apartment building.

"What is this place? I wanna go home." Rachael complained. Keen stopped in front of a door and knocked.

"If everything goes right,you'll be staying here for a few hours,okay?" Keen said as she waited to hear Rachael protest. But instead,Rachael squeezed Keen's hand and snuggled closer to her. It was the first positive sign Rachael had shown towards Keen. Keen wanted run back downstairs and leave. Her daughter was just warming up to her. And she almost did run back downstairs,but it was too late: the door had opened.

"Keen?" Ressler asked as he stood at his door. Keen's heart skipped a beat at the familiar deep voice. A thousand different emotions hit Keen at once,but she couldn't place one of them. She felt Rachael's tiny hand slip through hers.

"Dee Dee!" Rachael squealed as she hugged Ressler's leg. Obvious confusion flashed across Ressler's face,but something else did too and Keen didn't miss it. It's been a month since they last seen each other,and this wasn't the way Keen wanted too show up,but Rachael was almost as depressed as she was. At least coming here,it made Keen feel like she was trying. Trying for Rachael. An apologetic look started forming on Keen's face.

 **That's a wrap for chapter two. Chapter three will be from Ressler's POV (Wink,wink,nudge,nudge,) to all the Ressler fans out there :} And btw,if you're wondering why I made the original character Karen,it's for a very good reason...Mwuahaha (evil laugh)**


	3. Chapter 3

**My goodness! Thank for the support,I love you guys! Here's a shout out to the reviewer's of the last chapters :)**

 **Theblacklister23,Debbiejw1961,Trisha Bailey,Sugar1621,Catsrule2015,Fadedxdreams**

 **Chapter three: "Gone"**

It was like a nightmare and a daydream had showed up at his door step. Keen was there,which was good,but she had brought that... _child_. It was hugging his leg. Ressler tried his hardest not to shake Rachael off.

"I'm sorry." Keen mouthed to Ressler. "Rach,go inside for a minute." Keen said aloud to Rachael and Rachael walked into the apartment. Keen and Ressler stood outside.

"Ressler,I know what your thinking..but I can explain."

"You don't need to explain anything,Keen" Ressler noticed Keen's slumped shoulders and the bags around her eyes. Even when they were chasing blacklisters she never looked this bad. "I got her." he assured her. Ressler seen a visible relief wash over Keen.

"Okay,thank you." Keen nodded, "Remember,she's allergic to peanuts and she might seem a little depressed right now."

"Got it."

"I'll be back in a few hours. Okay?" Ressler never remembered Keen being this nervous. Or maybe a lot changed in a month. Was he the first person she was letting babysit Rachael? Keen turned and started walking away.

"Keen?"

"Hm?"

"Take care of yourself." Keen nodded and continued down the stairs. Ressler sighed as he went into his apartment,it was good to see Keen again.

"This place is so wicked!" Rachael exclaimed as she bounced on the couch. She was probably the only person who would ever say that. His place was bland with dark furniture. Nothing fancy even to the wildest imagination. _What the hell did I get myself into?_ ,he thought.

"Okay,get off the couch." Ressler replied.

"Where are we going?"

"No where."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Nothing."

"Oh." Rachael said and sat down.

"You have one rule: don't bother it?"

"Got it!" Rachael replied and gave two thumps up. _Why the hell was she so cheerful?_ Ressler shrugged and sat down and started looking over a case that him and his colleagues were working on last week. It was about a drug lord that was bringing illegal drugs over the border. He was expected to make his biggest shipment soon. It wasn't a Blacklister because Red stopped showing up when Keen left,but it was still a big case nonetheless.

"You work too much." Rachael announced. It was true though. Ressler would show up to work early,stay late,then look over cases when he was home. He always found himself emerged in work ever since Keen left. He had to stop himself from thinking about her-from worrying about her.

"Yeah,well you play too much." Ressler retorted.

"Liz says I don't play enough. Hey,what's that on TV?"

"Hockey."

"What's hockey?"

"A sport."

"Is it like soccer? I've seen soccer before."

"Rachael? You have one rule." Rachael sighed and walked to the fridge. She opened it then shut it back.

"Can we go somewhere?" Rachael asked as she picked up a vase.

"No." Ressler said causally. Every minute Rachael was picking something up then putting it back down,or opening a draw,and slamming it back as hard as she could. Then she would giggle. It was hard to focus on reading the case when Ressler kept glancing up at Rachael to make sure she wasn't climbing on the counter or about to knock something over. He was worried she was going to hurt herself soon. Rachael plopped down on the couch next the Ressler.

"Whatcha reading?" Rachael asked. _Just ignore her_ ,Ressler thought, _she'll get the hint._ "Liz bought me lot's of picture books and coloring books. Is your book like that?" When Ressler didn't respond, Rachael shrugged. "What's your favorite color? Mines green." Rachael said as her tiny hands started plucking at his hair. _I'm gonna go fucking bald._ "Are you a ginger? Look! Your eyes are green! Just like my favorite color! Did you change them that way just for me?" _Ignore her,ignore her_. Rachael waved her hand in front of Ressler's face. "Hellooo."

"Yes Rachael?" Ressler said as he refrained himself from sighing.

"Am I bothering you?"

xxx

"You had to get a kid Keen. _A damn kid_. Why the hell did she have to like me." Ressler mumbled to himself as he opened his car door.

"Where are we going?" Rachael asked as she got into the backseat.

"To get frozen yogurt." maybe you won't be such a pain if you're eating,but he didn't put that last part into words.

"Ooo,what's that?"

"It's like ice cream..just yogurt. Is your seat belt on?"

"Yep!" Rachael replied and Ressler rolled his eyes. On the way there,Ressler noticed a black car tailing them,but it turned off onto the highway so he brushed it off. When they got to the frozen yogurt shop,Rachael ordered all the toppings on her yogurt. From the almonds to the gummy bears,she had it. It looked like a colossal mess to Ressler,but Rachael was smiling like she just won the lottery,or just _stole_ the lottery,so Ressler didn't say anything. When sat down his phone starting ringing.

"Agent Ressler."

"Ressler,hey."

"Hey Keen."

"How's Rachael? Is she behaving?"

"Yeah. I thought you said she was a little depressed?"

"Did I? I meant that she's always uhm..."

"Happy?"

"Yes,happy." Keen laughed nervously, "She's always happy,can't stop that sunshine from smiling. She always wants to do stuff...and then more stuff"

"Uh-huh." Ressler replied suspiciously. It was worse than he thought. He figured Keen was having problems with Rachael,otherwise she wouldn't have came to him. But he didn't think it was this bad. Although,if the gateway to seeing Keen meant dealing with Rachael,he would suffer through it. He looked across the table and seen Rachael putting gummy worms up her nose. _or not._ "Did you wanna talk to her?"

"Sure." Keen replied as Ressler put the phone on speaker and slid the phone across the table to Rachael. "Hey Rach."

"Liz! I'm eating yogurt. That's frozen. Kinda like ice cream,but it's yogurt!"

"Oh wow,sounds like you're having a good time."

"The best time! I put gummy bears,and nuts,and caramel,and cherries,and sprinkles,and m&m's and..." Rachael's voice went faint in the back ground as Ressler starred out the window. He seen the same black car parked outside the shop. He frowned. "Okay,bye Liz!" Rachael said and pressed a button to end the call. "What are you starring at?...Dee Dee?"

"What?" Ressler asked as she snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Dis is sho good." Rachael said with her mouth full. Yogurt was on her cheeks and even her forehead. Ressler got a napkin and wiped her cheeks.

"You got it all over your face." he said

"I can reach it with my tongue." Rachael replied as she stuck her tongue out and tried to lick her forehead.

"You can't reach your forehead,Rachael."

"Can too!"

"Alright." Ressler replied as he sat back and watched her try to lick the yogurt on her forehead with her tongue. It was an impossible task,but by the seriousness on Rachael's face,Ressler could tell that she actually believed that she could do it. He could almost see a vein in her forehead from the strain she was putting on herself. "Just use a napkin." Ressler said,almost disturbed. "Seriously Rachael,you're gonna kill yourself." he added as he dabbed her forehead with a napkin.

"Thanks...I wasn't going to reach it was I?" Rachael asked.

"Nope." Ressler replied.

"You could have lied to me!" Rachael said,pretending to be upset,but fits of giggles broke though.

"Yeah well,I probably should of. It could have been the start of you having great confidence,but I just crushed that." Ressler joked,which only made Rachael start laughing even harder. Ressler chortled as she scrunched up her whole face to laugh. She looked like a cute baby troll thing. That's when it started to feel normal. Like Rachael was actually his daughter and they were just on another family outing. Sure,she was annoying and weird,but she was pretty cool too. But she wasn't his daughter. This was Keen's daughter and Keen was coming to pick her up soon. It was no use getting close with Rachael now.

"So what were you starring at earlier?" Rachael asked. _That damn SUV,_ Ressler thought as he glanced back out the window. The black SUV was gone.

"Nothing."

"Was it secret spy stuff?" Rachael asked as she scooped some yogurt in her hand and started moving her hand around like a plane. "Whirrr..whirrr...prepare for landing...whirrr" Rachael turned her hand over and the yogurt splattered all over the phone on the table.

"Shit." Ressler cursed as he reached over and grabbed his phone. It was dripping in melted yogurt.

"Shit?"

"No,don't repeat after me."

"Am I in trouble?"

"No. Go wash your hands in the bathroom." Ressler said as his phone made a slight noise. Someone was trying to call him. The called ID flashed 'nick's pizza' before the phone went completely dead. Reddington was calling him. Red never called him. "What the hell.." Ressler whispered to himself. Something must have been seriously wrong. Ressler walked outside and spotted the SUV parked a little ways off from the shop. He walked back into the shop and seen Rachael skipping out of the bathroom.

"I'm done." She announced.

"Let's go." He replied and lifted her up. Rachael giggled.

"It's soo high up here." Rachael said in awe as he walked to the car and put in her the back seat then buckled her up.

"Are we going home?"

"I don't know yet." Ressler replied. Once Ressler started driving the SUV started following them. But it wasn't just following them anymore,it was chasing them.

"Rachael put her head down." Ressler ordered. He was afraid people would start shooting. The last thing he needed was to bring Rachael back dead in Keen's arms. He immediately shook that thought out of his mind as the SUV bumped the back of his car. Someone leaned out the passenger side of the SUV and started shooting at their car. Ressler sped up and ran a red light then turned a sharp corner. He swerved out the way of another car and kept going. In his rear view mirror he seen the SUV slam into the car he had just missed. He drove onto the highway and stayed on it till he couldn't see anyone following him anymore. He glanced back at Rachael. "Are you okay?"

"What's going on?" Rachael asked as her eyes became glossy. Ressler wished he knew the answer. "Who were those people?"

"I don't know!" he snapped. "Rachael,I'm sorry. I-I don't know." Ressler said as he exited the highway and pulled into a gas station. Ressler sighed. "I'm gonna go in there and make a call. I'll be right back."

"Dee Dee,wait."

"Yeah?"

"Here." she unlatched her gold heart necklace from around her neck,and tied it around his wrist. "For good luck." she explained as she cupped his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. Ressler didn't know if it was the urgency of the situation,or the over load of affection that made him slightly nod and jog into the gas station. It smelled like cigarettes and stale chips.

xxx

"Welcome to .Liquor. do you need help findin' anythang?" the overweight clerk asked Ressler as he enter the store.

"I need to use the phone."

"Uhh...It's in the corner over there." The guy said,waving his arms in the direction of the corner. Ressler nodded and went to the phone. He began dialing then glanced out the glass store window and seen an SUV ram into the back of his car. The car flipped over then skidded into a gas pump stand,causing it to dent.

"Rachael!" Ressler yelled as he ran outside towards the car. He smashed the side window in and Rachael screamed. She was on the verge of tears. "It's just me."

"I'm scared." Rachael said.

"I know,but I need you to climb out."

"I'm stuck. My seat belt's stuck." Rachael whined. Ressler took out his pocket knife and reached into the car and cut her seat belt. Gun shots started firing at them,but they were protected by the car. Rachael crawled out of the car as Ressler got his gun out of the glove box.

"Get down." He told her. He looked over the car and fired a shot back at the man who had came out of the SUV. Ressler knew they couldn't stay where they were,because if the man misfired and broke the gas tank,it would explode. Ressler shot at the guy again and the bullet connected with his knee. The guy yelled in pain and tried to shot again,but he was out of bullets. He starting limping back toward the SUV,which he parked on the side of the road.

"Rachael,go inside the gas station."

"I-I don't wanna leave you. I'm scared. I love you Dee Dee." Rachael said as she tried her hardest not to cry. When a four year old was breaking down,were you suppose to say 'I love you too' back? Ressler hesitated and starred at her for a second. But he didn't have a second. More people might be coming soon.

"Rachael,please. Go inside and call Liz. I'll get you in a minute." Rachael nodded and ran into the store. Ressler watched Rachael get safely into the gas station,then he turned his attention to the man limping to his SUV.

xxx

Ressler slammed the guy against the vehicle.

"Who the hell sent you?"

"I can't tell you,my boss will kill me."

"I'll kill you." Ressler growled as he pressed his gun against the guy's head.

"You work with the FBI. You guys have rules. You can't murder me."

"I'll make an exception. Why are you coming after me?"

"You? No,no...It's the little one we want. Precious,precious Rachael."

"How the hell do you know her name?"

"We've been watching Rachael for a while now. Once we deliver the little precious to the boss,we'll get to see her get tortured and murdered." The guy said smiling.

" _You_ won't get to see it." Ressler replied and pulled the trigger. The man's body fell limply to the ground. Rachael screamed and Ressler looked back and seen her getting dragged into another SUV that was parked on the side of the gas station. He started running back towards her but one of Rachael's kidnappers shot at the gas tank that was by Ressler's flipped over car. Oil sprayed out of the gas tank and got on the engine of the car. It was only seconds before it would explode.

xxx

Ressler's ear were ringing,his ribs hurt,and the smoke from the explosion burnt his eyes,but he still stood up and tried to squint through the smoke.

"Rachael! Rachael!" Ressler yelled out. The SUV zoomed out of smoke,just inches from hitting Ressler,and kept driving onto the highway. Ressler reached for his gun,but realized it fell out of his hand when the explosion happened. It had happened so quickly. His ears stopped ringing and the smoke had almost all dispersed. Ressler walked into the gas station and found the clerk dead. _These people went through a lot to kidnap a foster child_ ,Ressler thought. It had to be a revenge attack against Keen,because no one would devise a plan and hire trained men just kidnap a four year old. Whoever wanted Rachael,wanted to make _sure_ they got her. Ressler faintly heard Keen calling Rachael's name. But that was impossible,Keen wasn't there. She couldn't have been. _I'm losing my fucking mind_. But then Ressler heard it again. He went to the corner of the store and seen the phone dangling off it's receiver. Rachael was on the phone with Keen when those people snatched her.

"Rachael?" Keen's voice said through the phone. Ressler swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat and pressed the phone to his ear.

"Keen."

"Rachael I-Ressler? What's going on? Where's Rachael?" Keen asked.

"Keen,I..I was too late."

"What?" Keen said. He could picture Keen's eyebrows furrow in concern. Then her eyes would become glossy as she would put two and two together. But she would try to deny it until he had said it aloud. But he didn't want to say it. Saying things,even if they already happened,seemed to make it true. And he didn't want this to be true. "Tell me she's okay,Ressler. She has to be okay...Don,please. She's my baby...s-she has to be okay." Ressler glanced down at the gold heart necklace that Rachael had tied around his wrist and felt his eyes sting. _It's just the smoke,you're not gonna cry over some damn kid_ ,Ressler thought to himself. "Damn it Don! Say something!"

"She's gone. Keen,Rachael's gone."

 **I give you permission to rant and cry. Now you see why the genre of this story is tragedy and suspense. Lol,I'm sorry,but whenever I write Ressler,action and violence follows. But be strong people! Our team is gonna hunt these people down till they find Rachael.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I love hearing from you guys *sigh* you make my day. Shout out to reviewers of the last chapter: Ohhval,Guest,TheBlacklister23,Hannah1203,Guest,debbiejw1961,Guest,fadedxdreams.**

 **I have to say that I agree so much with what one of the 'Guest' said. I really wish Ressler would interact with kids more on the show too. The inspiration for this story is because I seen Diego and Shailyn Perrie-Dixon (a twelve year old girl) presenting at the Canadian screen awards and I almost died. They were sooo cute. Like seriously,just throw a baby in Ressler's arms or something. Anyways,you get what I mean.**

 **And Hannah1203 your idea is amazing! I just might write a story like that...although it may be a one-shot...idk yet. Anyways,stay awesome everybody! Chapter 4 is going to start from Keen's POV from an earlier time than the kidnapping.**

 **Chapter Four: "Darkest Before the Dawn"**

Keen had called once. They said they were at a frozen yogurt shop. Rachael told her she was having 'the best time',and surprisingly,Keen didn't feel jealous. Keen felt good Rachael was having 'the best time' even if it wasn't with her. Besides,if Rachael felt happy with anyone,Keen was glad it was with Ressler. In an odd way she felt like...like...a family? _No way._ Keen quickly tossed that idea out of her mind. She almost liked it better when she was feeling jealous. Keen sunk into her couch and turned on the TV. She hated to admit it,but she was bored without Rachael. And not being around her colleagues didn't help. Maybe she could stop by her work place and see how everyone was doing. Maybe she could go to the frozen yogurt shop and see how Rachael and Ressler where doing. _No,you're taking a break. Just relax,_ Keen thought to herself. But she didn't want to relax,she wanted Rachael. She loved that little girl from the moment she seen her walk around the corner of the adoption center. Keen hoped Ressler wasn't being bitter with Rachael. Sure,he didn't have to like her,but he could at least show her some sign that he didn't hate her. _She's four for crying out loud! Call again. Just see how they're doing. No,Calm down_ _Liz. You just called a while ago. And Rachael was having 'the best time' remember?._ Keen sighed as she struggled with her thoughts. _Ring-Ring._ Keen jumped off her couch and dug into her purse to get her phone.

"Hello?" Keen answered expectantly.

"Liz.." Rachael said sobbing. _Shit._ Ressler had done it. He told Rachael that he hated her and she was a rotten child. Keen could already picturing herself strangling Ressler. "Bad people are chasing us and shooting at us..Liz,I'm so scared." _What?_

"Wait,Rachael,where are you?"

"In a gas station. An SUV just parked outside...I'm scared,Liz."

"Where's Don,sweetie?"

"I don't know. He told me to go inside the gas station. He's coming back in a minute." Rachael said,still sobbing. Keen's mind raced as she realized what was happening. Someone was trying to kill Ressler or Rachael. Or both.

"I want you to hid,sweetie. Go someplace-"

"Woah,you can't bring guns in here." Keen heard a guy say in the background. She guessed it was the clerk of the store talking to someone. _Someone that came out of the SUV?_ A gunshot went off and Rachael screamed.

"Liz,help!" Rachael screamed,but it sounded far away this time. She wasn't at the phone anymore. Keen faintly heard unfamiliar voices grace over the phone.

"Rachael! Rachael!" But Keen didn't get an answer. Everything went quiet. "Rachael? Come back honey. This isn't funny,sweetie." _Rachael was_ _kidnapped_. _No,that's not what happened. She's playing a prank on you,_ Keen thought. But she didn't believe that. When she heard an explosion,she felt her knees go weak and fell to the floor. She waited to hear her daughter's voice again but there was only silence. "No..no...Rachael? Rachael? Rachael! Rachael,please. Rachael.."

"Keen."

"Rachael I-" It wasn't Rachael. "Ressler? What's going on? Where's Rachael?"

"Keen,I...I was too late." Ressler said. Keen replayed Rachael's cry for help in her ears. She wouldn't believe Rachael was taken. She couldn't believe it. Keen started rambling about how Rachael had to be okay but once again,she heard silence. She couldn't stand the silence. "Damn it Don! Say something!"

"She's gone. Keen,she's gone." Ressler's words echoed in her mind over and over again. At this point,she would have preferred him to lie to her. To tell her that everything was alright. Kind of like how Samar told Rachael when she fell in the mud.

"I'll be right there." Keen replied. She felt like crumbling,but she knew she couldn't. She had to be strong for her daughter. She got dressed and walked out the door.

xxx

Keen arrived at the blacksite and Red came shortly after her,along with Dembe.

"Hey Keen." Aram said cheerfully,looking down at his computer. "Wait,what's going on?" he asked once he seen Keen's tensed face.

"We have a problem." Red announced. "Rachael has been abducted."

"What?" Aram said,disbelievingly as Cooper walked out of his office.

"Ressler just called,he was involved in an explosion. I'm sending agents to get him. Rachael's been kidnapped." Cooper announced,looking at papers in his hand,then glanced up at everyone. "...And Reddington just told you." Cooper added.

"Her kidnappers work for Alec Gustov." Red told him as Aram brought pictures up of Alec Gustov to the big screen for everyone to see. Gustov looked in his fifties,and had a scruffy brown beard with blue eyes.

"I remember a Gustov." Samar commented.

"You should." Red nodded, "Keen put away Aiden Gustov a few months ago. His brother Alec wasn't too happy about that,and has been planning to destroy someone close to Keen ever since.

Gustov usually locates in an abandon warehouse,so make sure you check out any close by." Red told everyone as Ressler walked out of the elevator. His hair was messy and he was holding his side.

"You're hurt." Samar said.

"I'm fine. Do we have any leads?"

"Alec Gustov is behind this." Keen said.

"Keen put his brother behind bars,so he wants to put her daughter in the grave." Red added matter-of-factly.

"There's an abandon warehouse about ten miles from here." Aram said, "I don't if it's anything but-"

"We'll check it out." Keen interrupted.

"Agent Keen and agent Sanders. You two can check it out." Cooper told them. Keen glanced at Karen (agent Sanders) and they walked into the elevator.

"And you. Come with me." Red said to Ressler "I have business to attend too and may need your help."

"Ressler needs to go to a hospital." Samar said.

"Where too?" Ressler asked Red,ignoring Samar. He didn't need a hospital. He needed to find Rachael.

"You'll see. Don't worry,it's beneficial to Rachael." Red said.

"Don't ignore me. You took a fall from an explosion. You probably have a couple broken ribs...at least." Samar said to Ressler.

"Agent Navabi," Red said to Samar, "He only responds to Dee Dee now. Isn't that right Donald?" Ressler gave Red a look that no one would want to put into words.

"I'm fine Samar. Let's go Red." Ressler grunted,obviously irritated. Samar frowned and went back to her desk as Red,Ressler,and Dembe left.

"He's just a bit cranky because of Rachael and-"

"I _know_ Aram." Samar replied,slightly irritated herself.

xxx

Keen tapped her fingers nervously against the steering wheel as she and Karen drove to the warehouse.

"I'm sorry about her daughter." Karen said,"It must have been really scary for your husband to have witnessed the kidnapping like that."

"Husband?

"Ressler."

"We're not married."

"Oh,I'm sorry. It's just that Aram told me you didn't let anyone babysit Rachael,and since Ressler was with her..I just thought he was the father."

"He's not." Keen said dryly as she parked the car.

"So he's available?" Karen asked. Keen got out of the car,ignoring the question,and went into the warehouse. _How could Karen even think about anything like that?_ She didn't even pretend to be the slightest bit worried about getting Rachael. Keen searched through all floors of the warehouse and found no one.

"Clear!" Keen yelled out,hoping her voice didn't crack. A few seconds later she heard Karen yell the same thing. Keen felt like her heart had just been ripped out all over again. Rachael was gone. The realization of not knowing where or who had her daughter was the scariest thing in the world. They went back to the car.

"Damn it!" Keen yelled as she pounded her fist against the steering wheel.

"It's okay." Karen said,placing a hand on Keen's shoulder.

"It's not okay!"

"It's just another case. Don't let your emotion's get the best you of you."

"Just another case?" Keen scoffed.

"You can't do anything stupid. When we find these people we're going to take them in for questioning. Nothing else. If you try to torture of kill them,I will stop you."

"If I where you,I'd stay the hell outta my way." Keen said and started the car up. Karen didn't say another word. She had read Keen's file. She knew it wasn't an empty threat.

xxx

"Why are we here?" Ressler asked as he,Red,and Dembe pulled into the driveway of a very rich house.

"For the fine wine and calamari." Red replied sarcastically

"I don't have time for your games Red."

"This is no game Donald. The man inside this house is Gustov's closest ally. He doesn't know anything about the kidnapping,but he would know where Gustov is."

"What are you planning to do?"

"Talk. Him and I go way back,so he should tell me everything I want to know."

"Then why did you bring me along?"

"For insurance. In case he's to caught up in Gustov's hopeless gang to talk. You see,I didn't feel like shooting anyone today,but I'm sure you wouldn't hesitate." Red gave a smug smile. Ressler frowned as he got out of the car. _The nerve Red had_. Red and Dembe also got out of the car and walked up the steps to the house. Red rang the door bell and it almost open immediately. An older foreign looking guy came out,holding a glass of champagne.

"Raymond!" The guy said happily.

"Benji!" Red said,just as enthusiastic.

"Please,come in." Benji added,as he walked gave a confused look at Dembe and Dembe shrugged,as if to say 'that's just Red.'

"Please,have a seat. Can my maid get you a drink?" Benji asked.

"Actually Benji,this visit is going to be rather quick."

"What's the matter?" Benji asked as worry stuck his face.

"Where is Alec Gustov?" Benji frowned.

"Red,you know I can't tell you. Maybe when he switches locations I'll tell you his last whereabouts,but I can't now." Benji replied as Dembe and Ressler raised their guns at him.

"As you can see,time is a factor. And you should reply rather quickly,because this one is feeling a little trigger happy." Red said,gesturing to Ressler.

"I don't know exactly where he's staying but he said he had a shipment to take over seas. He will be at the airport."  
"Thank you. It's always a pleasure Benji." Red said smiling.

xxx

Keen's phone rang and she put it on speaker.

"Gustov's at the airport. We're heading there right now." Ressler said.

"Alright. Meet you there." Keen replied then hung up.

"How'd they found out where he is?" Karen asked.

"I don't care,as long as we got him." Keen replied. They where already pretty close to the airport so they got there before Red,Ressler,and Dembe did. Keen and Karen split up and searched for Gustov. Keen had circled around the airport and still seen no sign of him. She spotted Karen about 20 feet away from her and gave a desperate look. She didn't mean for it to be desperate,but it was. Karen shook her head. Keen sighed and looked beyond Karen. She seen a man in a gray hoodie and a brown scruffy beard. When they locked eyes,he started running.

"Gustov stop! Karen behind you!" Keen said as she started chasing after him. _This is it_ ,Keen thought, _just stay on him Karen,I'm right behind 're gonna get answers,then we're gonna get Rachael._ But Karen tripped,seemingly on her own feet,and when Keen was running past her she grabbed Keen's jacket and brought Keen down too.

"My ankle's broken!" Karen said as she gripped onto Keen's wrist and her finger nails dug into Keen's skin.

"Let me go!" Keen yelled as she ripped her arm away from Karen. She stood up and jogged forward,then glanced around. Gustov was no where in sight. "No,no,Damn it!"

Keen said to herself and seen Dembe walking towards her.

"Please tell me you found him."

"No,Elizabeth. We didn't even see him." Dembe replied. Keen turned towards Karen who was just getting off the ground.

"You did this." Keen said.

"What? What are you talking about?" Karen asked.

"You sabotaged me. You tripped on purpose,then brought me down so I couldn't get Gustov."

"Keen,it wasn't on purpo-" Keen pushed Karen to the ground and got on top of her. She wrapped her hands around Karen's neck and began choking her.

"I could've had Rachael and you ruined it! You ruined it!" Keen shouted as she felt arms wrap around her torso and pull her off of Karen. Keen was about to hit the person who pulled her off,until she turned around and seen it was Ressler.

"Not here." Ressler said then let go of her. Keen glanced around the airport and seen by standers huddled together,starring at her. They were probably wondering why she just went loco on another federal agent,but at that moment,Keen didn't give a damn.

xxx

Cooper sighed as he watched Keen pace back and fourth in his office. She had reached her breaking point and it was obvious.

"For the last time,Karen works for Gustov." Keen said.

"We do background checks on all our agents and was clean." Cooper told her.

"She tripped and pulled me down so I wouldn't get Gustov. She said broke her ankle but the hospital report said it was just a minor twist."

"It could have just felt like it was broken to her at the time."

"She started working here the day after I adopted Rachael."

"Other people started working here on that day too,not just her."

"She pulled me down!"

"That doesn't prove anything Agent Keen. She usually works behind a desk. She was on her first real mission and she panicked. That doesn't mean she's out to get you."

"Why aren't you listening to me?"

"Because I'm not going to put an agent under investigation because you have a hunch!" Keen stepped back,as if Cooper's words physically hurt her. Then more softly her said: "When Karen first got here,you said you felt like you where being replaced. Maybe blaming her is your way of handling things."

"Handling things? I'm not handling things. I'm going crazy. Isn't that what you're thinking? That I'm crazy?"

"You're off this case Keen."

"Fine. You can have my badge,but I'm sure as hell not gonna stop searching for Rachael." Keen said as she slammed her badge on his desk and stormed out of his office.

"Agent Keen." Cooper said as he followed her out. Keen's phone beeped. She was getting a video message. She opened the message and seen Rachael laying on a floor wheezing.

"Oh god." Keen said breathlessly. The camera moved and Gustov's face was in front of the screen.

"Hello Agent Keen. Did you know that a peanut allergy can cause the throat to close,making it hard to breath? There are many painful symptoms to peanut allergies,but lucky for you,one of them is death. So little Rachael won't have to suffer that long." Gustov told her and then the screen went blank. Keen stood in the middle of the room,feeling like _her_ throat was closing. _No,no. Oh god,no._

"I got it!" Aram said. "The signal came from a few miles out west,just off the highway. It also leads to an abandon warehouse."

"Agent Ressler check it out." Cooper said. "And I'd like for you to go to Keen. That's of course if you want too." Cooper added as he offered her badge to her. Keen nodded and took her badge back.


	5. Chapter 5

**Shout out to the lovely reviewers! Because,uhm, *blushes* I like you...alot (^.^) : Trisha Bailey,TheBlacklister23,Jen,Keenler-mcswarek-girl,Hannah1203, .lin.90,BrokenBoyScout,Guest,Ohhval.**

 **Trisha Bailey,I already think Red sees himself as a grandfather to Rachael,but that will definitely have to get cleared up :)**

 **Guest,Your question is so insightful. I honestly do think Ressler is a go-by-the-books-agents,but he will break the rules if he has too. I also think he builds emotional walls up so nobody can make him weak. He doesn't like to let people in and I really try to capture that when I write him with Rachael.**

 **Hannah1203, Yeah,we gotta keep an eye out for Karen. Thank you so much for giving me that new story idea! I started writing and I couldn't stop. Mwuahahaha. You let out the writing monster in me. I think I like if his daughter was a teen and if they didn't have a great relationship. What do you think?**

 **Well,let's get on to the next chapter! Warning for Action,violence,Language,and child endangerment. (you've been warned)**

 **Chapter Five: "Either Or"**

Ressler drove and Keen sat shotgun as they went to the warehouse. He kept looking over at Keen because he had never seen her look so distraught. He wanted to ask if she was alright,but that would be stupid. Of course she wasn't. When the warehouse got into view,Keen visibly tensed. _It's gonna be alright Keen,_ is what Ressler had wanted to tell her,but he wasn't going to lie to her. He honestly didn't know what was gonna happen,and Keen deserved better then a lie. Her face was twisted into sadness and anger at the same time. She was completely determined and it worried Ressler. He couldn't just sit in the car and say nothing to comfort her. Not even he was that cold,but he couldn't think of anything. Maybe something physical would work. A pat on the shoulder? A half hug? Kiss on the cheek? _Hell no_. Words would have to do.

"Keen are-"

"Ressler!" Keen shouted as a bullet struck their car. Three people were on the balcony of the second floor to the warehouse,and they were shooting at them. Ressler swerved to the right. "Go straight. Break their damn door down." Keen said. Ressler glanced at her to make sure he heard right. Oh heck,he wasn't about to turn back now.

"Hang on." he said as he stepped on the gas. Bullets pelted their windshield until they crashed through the warehouse door. "You alright?" Ressler asked,not particularly meaning because of the crash.

"I will be." Keen replied,knowing exactly what he meant.

They got out of the car and ascended up the stairs. Keen went right and Ressler went left. Keen walked cautiously down the long hall then turned into a room. It was large and clear of any furniture,but someone was on the balcony,with their back towards her,looking outside.

"Put her gun down and slowly turn around." Keen said,but the guy didn't move. "Turn around!" Keen said again. The guy quickly turned around and tried to shoot her,but she shot him in the back before he could get one shot off. He stumbled forward and fell off the balcony. Keen walked out of the room and stopped at a corner when she heard voices.

"Those damn agents got inside the building."

"How many?"

"Don't know,but only one car came in here."

"Is the girl secure?"

"Yeah,Gustov's got her."

"Alright,split up." Keen heard one person's depart,then another set of footsteps where coming around the corner towards her. When they guy walked around the corner Keen elbowed him in the throat and aimed her gun at him.

"Where is Gustov keeping my daughter?"

"The agent's in here!" the guy yelled as Keen swung the butt of her gun into the side of his head. He fell to the ground,unconscious. Keen ran down the hall and around another corner and someone slammed her against the wall,causing her to drop her gun. Large hands lifted her off the ground by her throat. Keen felt her air being cut off from her lungs as little spots floated in front of her eyes. She tried to peel his fingers away but they were tightly gripped around her throat. She clawed at his face and pushed her thump into his eye until it bleed. He yelled out and immediately let her go. Keen started coughing as she regained her sight and balance. Another one of Gustov's people ran around the corner and Keen pushed the guy with the bleeding eye into him,giving her enough time to pick up her gun and point it at them.

"You,handcuff him." Keen said a little breathlessly and tossed the guy with the hurt eye hand cuffs. He obeyed and cuffed other guy. She walked to him and cuffed him also,then put them in the first room she had went into and locked the door. Keen walked back down stairs and called Cooper.

"Agent Keen?"

"I made two arrest but no sight on the target. We need back up."

"Sending back up now." Keen nodded,as if Cooper could see her,and hung up. She heard Rachael scream. At first,she thought it was in her mind,because she kept hearing Rachael's screamed play over and over in her head since she was taken,but this time it was real. Keen ran outside and seen Gustov pulling Rachael by the arm,towards an SUV. He noticed Keen and turned around with a gun pressed against Rachael's head.

"Drop your weapon Keen." Gustov said. Keen dropped her gun and kicked it away.

"Don't hurt her. Please."

"You put my brother in jail to rot for the rest of his life."

"He was a murderer."

"It doesn't matter! You will watch your most loved one die!" Gustov yelled as FBI cars pulled up. "Tell them to stand down!"

"There's no getting out of this. Just let her go." Keen said. That's when she realized that he didn't care if he died or went to jail. He just want to see her suffer. He wanted to kill someone she loved.

"Stand down everyone!" Ressler said to the FBI. He handed his gun to one of the agents and walked into view with Keen,Gustov,and Rachael. "I'm unarmed Gustov. I just want to talk."

"There's nothing you can say!" Gustov yelled.

"You're doing this all wrong." Ressler told him, "You're not gonna hurt Keen by killing Rachael. Keen was planning on putting her back up for adoption from the moment she got her. Rachael means nothing to Keen." Ressler said.

"How would you know?" Gustov asked.

"Because we were gonna start a family on our own,and Rachael was more like a test run instead of a child to us. Killing her will be a failed attempt for avenging for brother. It's me who you want." Ressler said. Gustov let out a warrior cry as he threw Rachael to ground and shot at Ressler. Gustov tried to get off multiple shots,but a sniper from the FBI shot him in the head. Tears fell down Keen's face as she seen Rachael get off the ground and start running towards her.

"Sweetie,oh,sweetie." Keen said as she opened her arms,preparing to squeeze Rachael in an embrace. But Rachael ran past Keen. Keen watched as Rachael ran to Ressler's side. He was laying on the ground. _Ressler was shot._ Keen rushed to his side and held his hand. Keen hadn't even realized that Gustov's bullet had connected into Ressler's stomach. She so worried about Rachael that she didn't fully realize what Ressler was doing. Gustov had wanted to kill the person Keen had loved the most and Ressler made it seem like that person was him instead of Rachael.

"Ressler,come on,stay with me." Keen pleaded as his eyes closed.

"Dee Dee!" Rachael screamed. She was in a fit of hysterical crying. Samar picked Rachael up and walked her away from the scene. The paramedic's put Ressler on a stretcher and carried him into the ambulance. Keen watched the ambulance drive away as Reddington's car pulled up and Red and Dembe got out.

"Get Rachael and go home,Lizzie." Keen didn't reply. "Gustov still has loose ends. I will take care of them,but I need you to go home."

"Red,I-I can't." Keen said as she starred into the direction that the ambulance drove too.

"Lizzie,look at me." Red said as he put his hands on her shoulders. "Rachael is safe and I need you to keep her that way." Red said sternly. Whenever Red got that look in his eyes,Keen knew something was wrong. _Loose ends._ Gustov still had people who were trying to get Rachael. Keen gave a slight nod.

xxx

Keen sat on her couch with Rachael sleeping across her lap. She had her phone gripped so tightly in her hand,that her fingers had went numb a while ago. It had been over two hours and she was waiting for a call from the hospital or from one of her colleagues to tell her that Ressler was alright. _He had to be alright._ He couldn't die before she even thanked him. Her phone rang an she answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"Agent Keen." It was Cooper.

"How is he?" Keen held her breathe as she waited for the reply.

"The doctor said the bullet just missed a major artery. He needs rest but he's gonna be alright."

"Oh thank God. Is he awake?"

"He was for a minute. He asked how you and Rachael where doing." Cooper said. Keen chortled and she could hear Cooper smiling over the phone also. They were thinking the same thing: Even when Ressler was dying he was worried about others. "...The whole staff is here. We're about to leave though. The doctor said he wants Ressler to get rest,but I really think he wants Aram to stop talking." Cooper said as Keen pictured Aram sitting by Ressler's bedside,talking non-stop. She smiled,but also felt sorry for Ressler. He probably thought Aram was annoying.

"Thanks for calling Cooper,good night."

"Have a good night Agent Keen." And the phone hung up. Keen sighed,slightly relived and slightly worried at the same time. She looked down and seen Rachael starring up at her with her big hazel eyes.

"Are you okay Liz?"

"Yeah sweetie." Keen replied and kissed her forehead. "I'm suppose to ask you that."

"I'm okay. Is it my fault that Dee Dee's dying?"

"No,no honey...he's not dying. Everything's gonna be alright. Let's get some sleep okay?"

"Okay." Rachael replied as Keen carried her upstairs and tucked her in bed. Keen was about to turn off Rachael's light when she heard: "Liz?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Can you stay me? Just until I fall asleep..."

"Of course." Keen replied,trying to contain the surprise in her voice. Keen held Rachael long after she knew she had fallen asleep. She gotten used to Rachael's steady breathing and how her eyes would flutter under her her tiny eye lids. Keen kissed Rachael's forehead and quietly exited the little girl's room. She put on a hoodie and walked downstairs and went to her car. She was gonna go to the hospital. So what if Red told her to stay inside tonight? So what if visiting hours were closed? So what if Ressler was probably sleeping? She wanted to make sure he was okay. She wanted to see him.

"Going to get milk at 11pm?" Keen jumped at Red's voice.

"Damn it Red. What are you doing here?"

"Hoping you don't do anything stupid."

"I need to see him."

"And tomorrow you will." Red said with finality in his voice. Keen frowned but didn't protest. "You know,Donald made up a very convincing story."

"Yeah. He did." Liz agreed as she shifted the weight on her foot.

"I mean you two being in love and starting a family? Of course Gustov would believe that!" Red stated as he watched Liz squirm. It was so much fun.

"Uh,yeah."

"Anyway,don't try to sneak out again."

"Sneak out? What am I,grounded?" Keen asked

"Goodnite Lizzie."

xxx

[The next morning...]

"Calm down." Keen said as she tried to put a dress on Rachael,who was jumping up and down on the bed.

"We get to see him! We get to see him!" Rachael exclaimed.

"Remember,no climbing on the hospital bed and no jumping on his stomach."

"I wasn't gonna do that!"

"Sure you weren't." Keen rolled her eyes as she buttoned up Rachael's dress. The drive to the hospital made Keen even more anxious then she already was. _Calm down Liz,Ressler's been through worse than this._ But that didn't make her feel any better. Keen parked the car and held Rachael's hand as they walked in the hospital.

"Come on." Rachael said as she pulled Keen's hand towards the reception desk. Ressler might not care for Rachael,and he might wear a scowl more often than not,but somehow,Keen knew that if a shy,weird,foster child like Rachael loved him,he was gonna make a damn good father one day.

"Welcome to 's Hospital,how may I help you?" The receptionist asked.

"We're to visit Donald Ressler."

"Funny,someone just visited him. It's room 102."

"Thank you..." Keen replied numbly. All her colleagues would be at work this time.

"Have a good day. The receptionist said,smiling.

"Excuse,who exactly visited him?"Keen asked.

"Who cares." Rachael whined as tugged Keen's shirt.

"One sec..." The receptionist said as she typed away on the computer. "Karen Sanders." Keen felt her whole body tense. She didn't trust Karen. Or maybe she didn't like Karen. Keen couldn't place which one it was. Why did Karen want to see Ressler anyway? She didn't even know him that well.

"Thank you." Keen told the woman and started down the hall with Rachael. Rachael skipped in front of her and burst through the doors of 102.

"Dee Dee!" Rachael squealed as she began climbing onto the hospital bed.

"Rachael don't-" Keen started to say,but it was no use in finishing the sentence. Rachael was a lot like her; once she was determined to do something,she did it. Keen walked into the room and seen Ressler. He looked pale. Paler than usual. _Probably from the blood loss_ ,Keen thought as she locked eyes with him. His cheeks turned deep rosy color. It made him look peaceful and young. She couldn't help but smile. _Was he...blushing? No of course not._

"Hey Liz." Ressler said,giving his famous half smile. He was completely oblivious to the four year old who was about to jump on his stomach.

 ***Sighs* Our baby got shot. The next chapter will be total amaze-balls. It will start with Ressler's POV beginning from the Gustov/Rachael scene.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Reviewers shout out:**

Trisha Bailey

TheBlacklister23

Jen

Sugar1612

Hannah1203

Trish

Ohhval

Guest

Guest

FadedxDreams

 **Ohhval** ,I died when I read your comment. Probably the best yet Lol.

 **FadedxDreams** ,this story will not be ending anytime soon :)

 **Trish** ,Hello new reviewer! Welcome to the dark side:) Just kidding,we're the good people. Thanks for saying my story was 'wow'. I secretly think you're wow o_o Anyways,I have no idea why you would think Audrey would be there. She's dead. I know it's not clear,so let me clear it up now. Everything that's happened on the TV show stays the same expect that Keen is not on the most wanted list and she never had that stupid moment with stupid Tom Keen on his stupid boat. So basically the season finale ever happened in this universe,okay? And no,I am not a fan of Tom Keen.

 **Hannah1203** ,Ressler's my favorite character too! And Liz. And Aram. And Samar. And Cooper. And Red. And his friends. And...okay,it's pretty hard to pick just one out of such a lovely cast :} btw,I posted the story we talked about,but I hated it and I deleted it. I'm sorry.

 **Guest** ,No problem,I answer all insightful questions. And Thanks :)

 **Everyone remembers what was happening right? Good.**

 **This chapter starts from the Gustov/Rachael/Keen/Ressler scene but from Ressler's POV**

 **Chapter Six: "Jana Rosa"**

Keen's foster dad (Sam) had died,her husband was a fraud,she was confused about her childhood,and she barely knew who she really was. Her whole life was one big lie and Rachael had shinned some truth onto it. Ressler wasn't going to let some vengeful bastard take that away. So he offered himself instead of Rachael. _No one will miss me anyway._ Gustov took the bait and threw Rachael down then shot at Ressler. The gunshot seemed quieter than usual,or maybe because the pain blocked out the sound. It felt like his insides had just exploded. He fell to the ground and Rachael was leaning over him in a matter of seconds. She was crying and rambling gibberish through sobs. Keen's face came into view. He felt her hold his hand. _Don't let go Keen_ ,Ressler had wanted to say,but no words came out. He was loosing to much blood. The world was fuzzy as he tried to hold Keen's hand tighter,but he didn't have the energy to even move his hand. As if Keen could read his mind,she squeezed his hand. He seen Samar pull a hysterical Rachael away.

"Ressler,come on,stay with me." Keen told him. _I can't Keen. I can't._ Everything went black.

When Ressler opened his eyes again,he was starring at a ceiling. _A hospital ceiling_. He tried to sit up but a pain in his stomach forced him to lay back down. _You where shot,idiot_. He turned his head to the side and seen Aram sitting in chair beside him. Aram blinked his eyes rapidly. He was almost falling asleep.

"Oh my goodness. You're awake. You're really awake. He's awake! Guys! Guys!" Aram said as he got up and ran out the door. _Wait-Aram...oh damn it_. Cooper,Samar,and Aram walked back into the room with a nurse.

"Make sure you give him space and call me if you need anything." The nurse told them and left. Everyone looked cautiously at Ressler,as if waiting for him to speak first. They didn't want to overwhelm,Ressler's guessed,but he didn't like being looked at like a lab rat either.

"How long was I out?" Ressler asked.

"About three hours." Samar replied

"How are you feeling?" Cooper asked.

"I've had better days."

"Well take as much time off work as you need,although I know you can't stay away." Cooper said,"Maybe consider working a desk job for a while." Ressler felt like getting out of the hospital right now. He wasn't going to work at some damn desk,even if he had to fake that his stomach was healed.

"If you need any water or anything,I'm right here." Aram told him.

"Thanks,but I'm sure the nurses will do that."

"Yeah,of course." Aram replied nervously.

"How's Keen and Rachael doing?" Ressler asked.

"They're okay. Red told them to stay at home." Aram said.

"Why?"

"He thinks Gustov has a second in command that's going to finish the job." Samar told Ressler.

"You mean kill Rachael? Shouldn't they come after me now?"

"Assuming Gustov's person wasn't there when you made that speech: no. They'll still believe the target is Rachael." Samar explained. Ressler frowned. _It's not over_.

"Hey,hey" Aram said, "Don't get stressed. Stress is terrible for people with injuries. Not that it's not terrible for people without injuries,because it is. Stress is bad for everyone,but it just amplifies it when you have an injury so..." Ressler blocked Aram out as he starting thinking about Keen's safety. If his colleagues knew someone was out there,then so did Red,and he would have Keen's house protected. Keen could also take care of herself,but that didn't stop Ressler from worrying nonetheless. "...so just try not to frown like you're doing now and you should be fine. Although-"

"Aram?"

"Yeah?"

"I should get some rest.." Ressler wasn't remotely tired,but he wanted Aram to stop talking.

"Oh of course. Should I stay or should I-"

"Go. You should go." When Ressler noticed the slightly hurt face Aram had,he added: "I sleep better when someone's not starring at me."

"Let's go Aram." Samar said.

"We miss you already." Cooper told Ressler as they walked out the door.

xxx

"Sir. Sir." A nurse called as she tapped Ressler's shoulder."Someone's here to see you." Ressler blinked as the sun light shinned the the hospital window. The morning had came already. "Would you like me to tell her to come back later?" The nurse asked. _Her. Keen._

"No,uh,bring her in." Ressler replied as the nurse nodded and walked away. A moment later Karen came in.

"Hi." She said and smiled.

"Hey." Ressler replied,hoping to hide the slight disappointment in his voice.

"You took quite a shot there. Are you holding up?"

"I'm alright."

"So you're modest too?"

"No,usually I'm a cocky bastard."

"I don't think a cocky bastard would take a bullet for someone." Karen smiled, "Work's gonna be helluva lot boring without you."

"No one's ever called me the life of party,so I doubt that." Ressler replied flatly.

"I don't know,what you did was pretty amazing."

"Just part of the job."

"Well...I don't think just anyone would do that." Karen said as she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't exactly know what to say. He didn't like Karen like that,but the kiss could have just been out of pity. He wasn't going to dub her as a crazy love sick person just yet.

"I'll see you around Don."

"Bye Karen." Ressler replied as she walked out the room. It wasn't ten minutes later until the nurse came in and said someone was there to see him. He hoped Karen wasn't coming back to apologize. He hated apologies. It would just make things awkward between them when things didn't have to be,but it probably wasn't her,she was cooler than that. It might be Aram though. _Oh,please don't Aram._

"Dee Dee!" Ressler heard from down the hall. _Or Rachael._ The little girl sprinted into the room and start climbing up the side of his bed like something on the grudge. "Did you stay in here all night?" she asked.

"All night." he replied.

"Cool! Was it scary?"

"Not really. I made sure the nurse's checked for monsters under the bed."

"I make Liz check for monsters under my bed too!" Rachael boasted as she stood up and started jumping. Keen walked through the door. She looked so pretty out of her work uniform. Her eyes glanced at Rachael,then they gazed over all the flowers and get well cards people had left him,and then she locked eyes with him. His face went hot. It must have seemed like he was starring at her. He _was_ starring at her. He hoped she hadn't noticed,but the smile that appeared on her face said differently.

"Hey Liz." Ressler said,giving a half smile. It quickly turned into a grimace as Rachael jumped onto his stomach. The doctors had gave him painkillers earlier,so it didn't hurt that much.

"Rachael!" Liz scolded as she lifted her daughter up and set her on the floor. "What did I tell about that?"

"It's okay Keen." Ressler said,but it wasn't okay. Rachael's tiny shoes had planted directly on his ribs.

"He said it's okay." Rachael told Keen as she started climbing up of the side of the bed again.

"No." Keen said and pulled Rachael down. "Here's a dollar,get something from the vending machine,okay?" Rachael nodded and ran out the door. Keen watched her leave then turned to Ressler. "I'm am so sorry." Keen said with an apologetic look,but she was smiling.

"It's fine." Ressler chortled, "How are you?"

"I'm suppose to ask you that." Keen replied.

"They told me about Gustov still has someone out there."

"Ressler...I...I told them not to tell you. I don't want you to worrying about me when you should only be worrying about yourself."

"That's impossible. You shouldn't even be here,it's not safe."

"I couldn't stay in my house. Besides,Red said he's getting information to find out who the person is."

"But he doesn't know yet,Keen. The person could be anyone."

"Are you seriously arguing with me?"

"I want you to be safe."

"I am safe."

"For how long?"

"Ressler..."

"I can't stay in this hospital. I need to be out there searching for the bastard who's hunting you."

"You can't right now." Keen said. She regretted the words from the moment they left her mouth. Telling Ressler he couldn't do something only poured fuel on his fire. It was like saying he had to work at a desk. Ressler started to sit up,but the pain made him fall back down.

"Ressler,you're gonna hurt yourself even more. This is insane,you can't just leave."

"They can't keep me here."

"Don't do this. I'm fine. You know,this is so typical of you."

"What are you talking about?"

"You just don't care. You'll jump out of moving cars,you'll jump in front of bullets,and you'll constantly put yourself in danger all because you don't care. You think no one will miss you,but I would. I would miss you Don."

"It's my job to be in danger."

"No,not now. You don't have to leave now."

"Keen.."

"Why couldn't you just be happy that I'm here? No,Special Agent Ressler just has to go and protect me."

"I _am_ glad you're here,but it's not safe."

"Have you ever thought that I want you to be safe? What about how I feel?

"Keen.."

"No,you can't just do this. You can't be reckless with your life. My daughter needs you. It'll break her heart if you die. It'll break mine!"

"I know that!"

"Then stay in the fuckin' hospital!"

"Mom? Is everything okay?" Rachael asked as she walked in the room eating a candy bar.

"Yes. Everything's fine sweetie." Keen said as tears slipped down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away. Rachael had just called Keen 'mom' for the first time,but Ressler was sure Keen didn't even notice.

"Do you want some?" Rachael asked Keen,referring to her chocolate bar. When Keen shook her head 'no',Rachael skipped to Ressler's bed side and poked the candy bar into his cheek. "Do you want some?"

"No thanks Rachael." he replied.

"Come sweetie,we're leaving." Keen said.

"Already?" Rachael pouted. Keen lifted her up and walked out the door,not glancing back at Ressler. The bullet wound felt amazing compared to how he felt mentally. He thought Keen would be happy that he wanted to look for the person that was still on the loose,but obviously she wasn't. He understood that she wanted him to be safe,because that's all he wanted for her,but this was serious. Gustov was on the blacklist. Anyone who was his second in command was a serious threat. They could be under cover. They could be someone Keen already knew,just waiting for the right moment to kill Rachael.

"Damn it." Ressler said to himself. Despite what he wanted to do,he stayed.

A month had past and the doctors said Ressler was well enough to leave. Him and Keen were back on good terms since he had called her the same day they had that argument and apologized. Well,he just said he would stay in the hospital,but Keen counted it as an apology. Through out the month she had visited him often. They were getting closer and the friends label didn't quite explain them properly,but he knew the closeness would stop today,because he would be starting work again they would act like what they were: partners. Why was that so disappointing? When Ressler walked out the hospital,Red was waiting outside. Ressler didn't bother asking how he knew he was getting out today.

"Why are you here Reddington?"

"Can't I just visit an old friend?"

"What do you want?"Ressler replied flatly.

"Jana Rosa. Alec Gustov's younger sister. Jana and Alec ran away from their abusive home as teenagers and moved to America to live with their brother Aiden. The three of them thrived in the life of crime until Keen put Aiden away. After that,Jana Rosa just disappeared."

"Disappeared?"

"It's rumored that she killed herself because she couldn't bare to be without Aiden."

"You don't believe that."

"No Donald,I don't. In fact,she's our new target. She's the one still coming after Rachael."

"So we're looking for Jana Rosa?"

"A dead woman doesn't come back with the same name. That's why we need to pay someone a visit."

"Why do you need me?"

"Don't be mistaken," Red laughed, "We simply have the same interest."

xxx

They arrived at a mortuary. Red asked the receptionist to see 'James Devoli'. The person lead them into the morgue and they seen a man in his fifties eating a sand which while inspecting a dead body. _What great friends,_ Ressler thought.

"James!" Red announced.

"Raymond?!" James looked up shocked, "Oh,han pasado anos. Como estas?"

"Bien y tú?" Red replied.

"Terrible. Vanessa left me." James complained as he rest his sandwich on the dead body.

"Don't worry James,she'll come back." Red told him

"What do you know about Jana Rosa?" Ressler asked James.

"Jana Rosa? Why..why,she was beautiful. She had a terrible life and turned to crime. Unfortunately,she was never seen since she aboard that train. She's believed to have killed herself." James replied.

"How long ago did she get on that train?" Ressler asked.

"Five months,three days,ten hours,and twenty two minutes ago." James said in a love-struck way. Ressler and Red exchanged uncomfortable glances. "What." James said defensively, "she was _very_ beautiful."

"Thank you." Ressler said and gladly left the morgue.

"Raymond?" James called.

"Hm?"

"Do you really think my wife will come back?" James asked

"Oh James," Red laughed "Vanessa was way out of your league."

xxx

On the way to the blacksite,Ressler called Aram.

"Ressler?" Aram said,surprised.

"Aram,I need you to get surveillance on the subway from five months and three days ago."

"Wait,you're out of the hospital?"

"Yeah."

"When did you get out? This is great news."

"...Aram."

"Sorry,yes,I can find the surveillance."

"Alright,see you when I get there."

Red and Ressler stepped out of the elevator to the blacksite and was greeted by Cooper.

"It's good to have you back." Cooper said to Ressler,then he nodded at Reddington.

"Guys,I couldn't find anything on the surveillance. It's not deleted,I would've been able to recover it,but I think someone took the tape." Aram said as he typed away on the computer.

"Looks like Jana Rosa knows what she's doing." Ressler said as Keen walked over to them.

"Check for where she was going on her ticket." Keen said.

"Uhm...downtown. Her train was suppose to stop right off at Main st which is right across from an apartment building,and the apartment building is just a couple miles from..from.."

"From what?"

"Your house Keen." Aram replied.

"Gustov family has been stalking me for months?" Keen asked,almost dazed.

"From the moment you locked their brother up they've been after you." Samar said.

"What's the address on the apartment building?" Cooper asked and Aram gave it. "Agent Keen and Agent Sanders,go check it out." They nodded and started towards the elevator. Ressler was disappointed,to say the least,that Cooper didn't send him to go with Keen,but he guessed for the past months it's been Keen and Karen working together. _Why didn't Keen like Karen?_ He couldn't remember. He just hoped would they catch Jana Rosa (or whatever her name was now) before she got to Rachael.


	7. Chapter 7

[Keen's POV]

 **Chapter Seven: "Jana Rosa part 2"**

Keen and Karen parked at the apartment building that Jana Rosa was suppose to have stayed at five months ago. Who's to say she wasn't still there? It might be a long shot,but that was all they had. Keen glanced at Karen as they walked into the building. She still wasn't sure of Karen. She wished Cooper had assigned Ressler to check out this building with her. What if somebody was in there? She didn't trust Karen enough to have her back.

"Hi,we were wondering if anyone by the name of Jana Rosa stays here?" Keen asked the apartment manager as she showed her badge.

"Uh..let me check."

"Go back about five months ago"

"Okay...uh-yes,she registered here exactly five months and being staying here ever since."

"What's her room number?"

xxx

Keen and Karen stood outside Jana's door with their guns ready.

"FBI! Open the door!" Keen shouted. They heard rustling inside,but none opened the door. Karen kicked the door down and they went inside. They seen a guy ransacking the place,he didn't even bother to look up at them.

"Put your hands where I can see them." Keen said. The guy still continued searching as if his life depended on finding whatever it was he was looking for. _What the.._ "Where's Jana Rosa?" Keen asked.

"I have to find it...you don't understand...she'll kill me...she'll kill me." The guy mumbled as he continued throwing things around.

"Sir,put your hands behind your head." Keen said.

"I just put in down a second ago. It was here...I swear it was here." The guy continued to mumble to himself. He picked up a suit case on the floor and glance at Keen and Karen as if just noticing them. _He found what he was looking for._ Then his face changed,like a whole other person took over inside of him. He darted out the window.

"Stop!" Keen yelled as she climbed out the window also. The guy jumped off of the house and onto the grass the kept running. Keen followed close behind him. He got to a fence and struggled to climb it with the suit case in his hand. Keen thought the most logical thing to do was throw the case over the fence then climb,but she wasn't going to give him any ideas. She grabbed his jacket in hopes to pull him off the fence,but he swung the suit case at her and it connected with the side of her face. The force of the hit knocked her to the floor. _It's a metal suit case...fuck._ Keen's head throbbed as she glanced up and seen the guy standing over her with a gun aimed at her head. Three gunshots went off consecutively as Keen held her breathe-thinking it was gonna be her last breathe-but nothing happened. She was still alive. Instead,the guy fell down. Keen stood up warily and seen Karen a few feet behind her with her gun still smoking. _Huh...maybe Karen wasn't so bad._

xxx

[At the blacksite]

"I can't do this."

"Yes you can." Samar told Aram.

"This suit case has over a hundred combinations and a finger print access. It'd take me a day or two to unlock it."

"The guy Karen shot,his name is Brian Folk,he's is in critical condition,but he's still alive. Maybe he could help us." Ressler said as he handed Keen an ice pack.

"I already tried to talk to him. The doctor's said to wait till tomorrow." Keen replied and pressed the ice pack to the side of her face.

"Whatever's inside that case has great value to Rosa. The quicker you get it open the better." Samar told Aram.

"Agent Keen,can I have a minute?" Cooper asked as he walked out of his office. Keen nodded and walked into his office.

"Something wrong?" she asked

"Until we get that suit case open,we don't have much to go on. Maybe you should go home,get some rest,and start fresh tomorrow."

"Thanks Cooper." Keen replied. It wasn't a bad idea. She was tired and upset. Plus,not having a picture of the woman that's trying to kill her daughter made it even worse. Jana Rosa could slip into her life and she wouldn't even know it. That thought scared her. She was glad to be going home to Rachael. Red and had been right. Rachael took time to warm up to her but it was every bit worth it. Maybe she would ask Ressler if he wanted to have dinner with them. _Why not?_ She didn't even get the chance to tell him that she was glad that he out of the hospital. It had been a scary experience,especially since he was trying to leave early. Like one-day-after-getting-shot early. _Yeah, would be nice_. She wondered when was the last time he had a home cooked meal. Did he cook? She didn't know. She walked out of Cooper's office and strolled into Ressler's office. Her heart dropped a good 50 feet to the ground when she seen Karen talking to him. They were standing close. _Too close_. Keen immediately felt like an awkward third wheel.

"Keen. Hey." Ressler said.

"Hi." she replied cautiously,hoping she wasn't interrupting something. Honestly,she hoped she _was_ interrupting something.

"Come in. Whats up?"

"Uh nothing. I-uh...got the wrong door." Keen said,but she could tell Ressler didn't believe her.

"If you wanna talk it's fine. Karen was just saying goodbye." he said as he walked towards her.

"Oh well..uhm,I was wondering if.." _Just say it Keen_. _You're asking him to dinner,not marriage. You've done it before. Yeah,but not with perfect Karen standing right there._

"Don,my car broke down on the way here. Do you think you could you help me fix it?" Karen asked.

" ." Ressler replied,but he was still starring at Keen.

"Thanks,you're a life saver." Karen said as she walked towards the door. "I'm really sorry about your face. It's gonna take a lot of ice to fix that." Karen added to Keen then left. Keen knew her face didn't look that bad. It was just a little swollen on one side,but her hair was covering it so you couldn't even see it.

"So you two are on a first name basis now?" Keen joked,hoping to the heavens she didn't sound jealous.

"I did not approve of her using my first name,but these days people are calling me Dee Dee,so I'll let Don slide." Ressler replied as Keen laughed.

"It kinda suits you."

"Hey,what was it you were trying to ask me?" he asked.

"Hm?" _Why did he have to bring this up? Why couldn't he forget? Is he the only man who actually listens to a woman? Why can't you forget what I say?! Just sometimes!_

"You said 'you where wondering if...' and then Karen interrupted you."

"Oh,yeah. I forget." Keen lied.

"Okay." Ressler replied,not convinced by her answer. "I'll see you around Liz." Ressler added and walked past her to the elevator.

xxx

Keen and Rachael ate dinner on the couch. Usually Keen wouldn't allow it,but with everything going on now,she didn't know if she could bare Rachael sitting way across from her. Sure,it was only a table length away,but Keen preferred watching Rachael laugh at the cartoons on TV while she tried to discreetly hid her vegetables in a napkin. Keen pretended like she didn't notice.

"How was work?" Rachael asked.

"It was alright...I almost got shot." _Where you suppose to tell your child things like that?_

"How'd you get away?"

"Well my partner shot the person." _Karen shot the person. She saved my life. Keen suddenly felt bad for ever distrusting her._

"That's awesome." Rachael smiled, "I wanna shot bad guys too."

"Slow down there partner." Keen chortled, "Let's get some sleep first." she picked Rachael up and started upstairs. She thought of talking to Brian Folk had to know where/who Jana Rosa was. Keen tucked Rachael in bed. Rachael went to sleep in Keen's room,like she's been doing for the past month,claiming there where monsters in her closet. Keen didn't mind though,she liked having Rachael with her. By the time Keen had closed her eyes,the alarm clock went off and it was the morning time again. _Go back to bed Sun_. Keen groaned as she got up. By the time she and Rachael were finished eating,Keen didn't feel like asking a neighbor to look after Rachael. She didn't trust anyone anymore,so she decided to bring Rachael to work. Technically,it wasn't work,because it wasn't at the blacklsite (they were going to the hospital to talk to Brian) so maybe Ressler wouldn't get upset like he did last time she brought Rachael to work.

xxx

She was wrong. The moment she walked into the hospital and got past the guards,she had locked eyes with Ressler. He was standing outside Brian's hospital room frowning. She left Rachael by a security guard and continued toward Ressler.

"This is not okay." he harshly whispered.

"I couldn't leave her alone with anyone." Keen replied,her blue eyes almost pleading into his green ones. He sighed and opened the room door for her to go in first. Even when he was upset,he was still a gentlemen. It was one of the things Keen found attractive about him. She walked slowly towards Brian's hospital bed.

"Hi,I'm Agent Keen." He looked half unconscious and really pale. "I want to ask you a few questions about Jana Rosa. Do you understand me?"

"Y-yeah." Brian said weakly.

"Are you close with Jana Rosa?"

"It's too late for me. I screwed up. She already tried to kill me. She's gonna do it this time."

"You'll be safe in the hospital. I just need you too comply with my questions. Can you do that?"

"Don't send her in here,please don't send her in here."

"Keen." Ressler called.

"One second." Keen told Brian then walked out the room with Ressler.

"The doctor's report came in. This guy has multiple personality disorder. This explains why he was 'looking' for the suit case when you and Karen walked in Rosa's apartment." Ressler said.

"Yeah,but what did he mean by 'don't send her in here'? Does he think we have Rosa already?"

"He might think she made a deal with us."

"I'm gonna go back in there and see what I can get." Keen said and walked back in the room.

"It's agent Keen again."

"Hi." Brian replied.

"Are you close with Jana Rosa?"

"You promise you'll keep me safe?"

"I promise." Keen told him as he glanced around the room nervously.

"I work for her. She asked me to transfer something on a tape to a hard drive."

"Is that what's in the suit case? A hard drive?" Keen asked,almost too eagerly.

"Yeah.." He replied weakly, "I dunno what's on the hard drive. She just text me yesterday morning telling me to get it out of her apartment. That's all I know,I swear."

"Thank you." Keen said.

"What'd he say?" Ressler asked when she came out of the room.

"It's hard drive is in the suit case. Jana knew we were coming to her apartment yesterday. She text Brian and told him to remove the suit case."

"How the hell would Jana know we were going to her place?"

"She must has someone on the inside."

"Or _she's_ on the inside."

"Tell the security not to let anyone in Brian's room unless they're FBI."

"Since Rosa knows we have the suitcase she might try to take out Rachael soon."

"I know. I'm gonna bring Rachael home now."

"Keen."

"Yeah?"

"Be safe."

"You too."

xxx

Keen had drove back to her place and looked over Jana Rosa's file. The woman had no record of any pictures or ever being on video. She never used a credit card so no one could track her,and her last whereabouts was at the train and even that video was stolen. She was claimed to be dead but her body was never found. Keen had been studying this for over two hours but everything about this case pointed to a dead end.

"Mom?...Mom?"

"Oh,hey sweetie." Keen replied,not looking up from the file.

"Do you like my painting?" Rachael asked,holding up a drawing.

"It beautiful honey."

"You're not even looking!" Rachael replied and ran back upstairs.

"Sweetie don't..." _Leave._ A knock came at the door and Keen got up,almost relived to take a break from that case. It was making her a grouch.

"Hey." Karen smiled as Keen opened the door.

"Hi." Keen forced a smile back. It was so fake it hurt and she hated herself for it.

"Cooper sent me here. He wanted to make sure everything was okay." Karen explained.

"Oh. Well we think Jana Rosa might try to attack soon."

"Why?"

"Because we have her suitcase. It might have huge evidence to find her." Keen replied as she let Karen inside. She regretted doing it once she did it. She still felt uneasy around Karen,like she always put on a poker face. _She saved your life,give her a chance._

"And where's Rachael?" Karen asked.

"She's upstairs."

"How is she handling everything?"

"She's good...I try not to tell her too much."

"That's ,where's your bathroom?"

"Upstairs to the left."

"Thanks." Karen said and walked upstairs. Keen thought she could use this time to apologize to Rachael. The last thing she wanted her to think was that she didn't care about her. Keen went upstairs and found Rachael sitting on her bed drawing.

"Hey Rachael." Rachael didn't reply. She didn't even look up. _Oh no,not this again._ "Sweetie please don't be mad at me. I wasn't purposely ignoring you."

"It's okay." Rachael replied quietly.

"You know I'm just trying to keep you safe right?"

"I know...mom,I love y-" _Ring. Ring._ It was Keen's phone. Keen felt like smashing her phone then tossing it out the window. Rachael was so close to telling her she loved her and now the moment was gone. Keen clicked 'ignore' focused back on Rachael.

"That's a pretty picture." Keen said,desperately trying to get the moment back.

xxx

[The Blacksite]

Ressler,Samar,and Cooper walked over to the open suit case in front of Aram.

"I did it." Aram said,almost disbelieving that the suit case was open.

"It's a hard drive." Samar said.

"Upload it Aram." Cooper said. Aram reached inside the suitcase and pulled out the hard drive. He uploaded it to the big screen and played the video that was on it. The video showed people on the subway,boarding trains.

"Wait wait,go back." Ressler said. Aram rewinded the tape. "Stop." Aram stopped the tape on a woman stepping onto the train. He zoomed in on her face and they immediately recognized her.

"Is that...?"

"Karen?" Samar finished Aram's sentence.

"Karen is Jana Rosa?...So we've been working with a murderer psychopath who's been trying to kill Rachael all this time?" Aram asked.

"Pretty much." Samar replied causally.

"She didn't save Keen from Brian. She was trying to Kill him so he wouldn't talk." Ressler said.

"And she really did pull Keen down on purpose so she wouldn't get Gustov." Samar added.

"This is how Gustov's people were one step ahead of us. This is how they knew where Rachael would be and when to try an move that suit case." Ressler said.

"Keen warned me about this." Cooper said as he dialed Keen's number.

"That's probably why Karen was trying to get close to you. So she could get close to Rachael." Samar told Ressler.

"Keen isn't answering her phone. Agent Ressler go to her house. This Karen...Jana..whatever her name is might already be there. " Cooper said.

xxx

[Keen's House]

Keen heard the bathroom door open down the hall and sighed.

"I'm gonna try to get Karen outta here so we can do some drawing,okay?" Keen smiled.

"Okay." Rachael replied as Keen's phone beeped. It said 'nick's pizza' so she answered it.

"Red?"

"Cooper didn't send Karen. She's there to kill Rachael."

"How do you-? Never mind. Look,Karen said Cooper sent her."

"Why so trusting now Lizzie?"

"She saved my-"

"She didn't save your life,she was protecting her identity. Brian knew who she was and she tried to kill him. She could care less if you live or die." Red told her. Keen felt like screaming. She had seen it at first,why did she let herself believe other wise? Karen was Gustov's sister. Everything was falling into place like a perfect little sick puzzle.

"Rachael get in the closet and stay there." Keen said quietly.

"Why?"

"Don't ask why,just listen to me."

"But-"

"Rachael." Keen hissed. Rachael walked into the closet and shut the door.

"Get your gun Lizzie. Dembe and I our on our way."

"Bye." Keen said and hung up the phone. She starred at the closed closet door Rachael was hiding in. This was no way for her daughter to live. She didn't understand why Karen would come back though. Karen knew Aram was going to open the case soon,but she stayed anyway. She could have left the country,changed her identity again,and never been found. _But she stayed_. Keen turned around and Karen punched her in the face. Keen fell down onto her back.

"Why..Why did you come here?" Keen said through gritted teeth.

"To finish the job." Karen replied. Keen realized that Karen didn't care about dying or going to jail,just like Alec hadn't. The Gustov's were a grudge-holding family. Karen would continue to be ruthless until her brother was avenged. _Or until she died_ ,Keen thought.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! *waves arms frantically* \\(o_o)/** **Okay,so I can definitely say that this is my hands down favorite chapter to write. Lots of action and violence which is very unusual for my normal dreamy fluffy super syrupy sweet cloud type of writing. Or at least that's how I see it,Lol. Shout out to the very awesome reviewers:**

Jen

keenler-mcswarek-girl

Guest

Sugar1621

Trish

Ohhval

 **So I read over chapter 7 and realized I made a tiny typo. When Karen asked Ressler to fix her car he was suppose to say 'Yeah. Sure' but instead he said nothing. *frowny face* I'm so disappointed in myself.**

 **ANYWAYS,I never want to mention that again,so let's move onto chapter eight (which has NO mistakes. I'm sure of it.) So yadda yadda yadda,here we go. (ㆆ_ㆆ)**

 **Chapter Eight: "When It All Falls Apart"**

Everything had started happening so fast. She had just got a call from Red,saying that Karen was trying to kill Rachael,and the next minute she found herself on the floor,looking up at Karen,who had just punched her. Keen tried to stand up but Karen kicked her in the face.

"How does it feel to know that your daughter's gonna die today?" Karen asked,rather cheerfully.

"None of this is gonna make your life any better." Keen replied

"I'm not doing this to make my life any better,I'm doing it to make yours worse." Karen replied as she opened the closet door. Rachael sat inside,hugging her knees to her chest.

"Leave her alone!" Keen shouted.

"You know,I thought you'd be tougher than this. I was almost hoping for a good fight." Karen said as she stomped on Keen's stomach. "You can give up now if you like. I won't kill you,Keen. I just want Rachael."

"You will never have her."

"See,that's where you're wrong. I went through to much shit not to get what I wanted. I had to pretend I was dead and change my identity. Then of course I took your job and your soon-to-be boyfriend,but that part was fun. Don is really hot. It's a shame I never got to sleep with him. However,I still get to slit little Rachael's throat." Karen said as she took a knife from her pocket and twirled it in her hands. "Oh and that's gonna be so fun. Won't that be fun Keen?" Karen asked,smiling,as she knelt down beside Keen.

"No,but this will." Keen replied as she sat up and head-butted Karen. Karen held her forehead and stumbles backwards.

"Rachael run!" Keen yelled,but she didn't need to say it,Rachael was already half way out the door. Keen stood up as a slightly dazed Karen followed Rachael out the door. Keen chased them into the hallway and tackled Karen onto the floor. Karen elbowed Keen in the face,causing Keen to roll off of her,then Karen stood up and retrieved her knife that had fallen out of her hand. When Keen stood up she was greeted by Karen swinging a knife at her head. Keen ducked and punched Karen in the side. Karen weakly swung the knife again and Keen caught both of her wrist and slammed Karen's back was against the hallway balcony. The knife fell out of Karen's hand and went over the balcony. Karen tried to lean forward,but Keen was pushing her backwards against the railing. "Even if I do fall over,you're not gonna kill me." Karen said as her back was already half way over the balcony.

"I'm not trying to kill you. I just have to stall you." Keen replied. Karen realized that back up would be coming soon and all her chances of killing Rachael would be gone soon.

"Then let's get this show on the road." Karen smiled as she leaned all the way back,bringing her momentum (and Keen's) over the balcony. It oddly reminded Keen of playing tug of war and how if one person let go,the other person would fall. Expect in this case,both fell. They hit the floor with a loud thudding sound. Keen heard a blood curling scream from Karen,but she was to focused on the sharp pain that went through her own wrist to look up. The way her wrist had hung limp,Keen didn't need a doctor to tell her that it was broken. Keen slowly got up and walked to her desk in the living room. She had always kept a gun in the bottom draw. She took her gun in her left hand (the hand that wasn't broken) and walked back to Karen who was struggling to get up because one of her legs had a compound fracture. Keen suddenly felt glad that only her wrist was broken. Keen helped Karen up by her collar and raised her gun just inches away from Karen's face.

"It's over Jana. Back up is coming and you're gonna rot in jail just like your brother." Keen told her.

"Mommy?" Rachael said as she walked towards them glanced at Rachael. _Why didn't you get as far away from here as possible when I told you too run?!_ Keen thought.

"Sweetie..g-go back up stairs." Keen said as Karen grabbed the gun out of her flimsy left handed grip and hit her in the face with the gun. Karen was going to shot Keen,but Rachael screamed and started running deeper into the living room,and with a compound fracture,Karen knew the little girl could out run her. This would be her only chance to avenge her brother. Karen threw the gun down then lunged out,falling to the floor,and grabbed Rachael by her hair and slammed her into a coffee table. A lamp fell off the table and shattered. Still holding the little girl by the hair,Karen pulled Rachael close to her and put Rachael in a choke hold. She squeezed the little girl's neck as tight as she could. It would only take a few seconds before little girl's neck would snap.

"Mom.." Rachael uttered weakly. Karen felt the butt of a gun strike her across the side of her face. She immediately let Rachael go and fell down. Keen was on top of Karen in less than a second and hit her with the gun.

"Rachael!" Karen yelled as she glanced toward Rachael,who was coughing while she starred wide-eyed at Karen.

"Don't look at my daughter!" Keen yelled and hit Karen again with the gun. And again. And again. Keen threw the gun to the side and punched Karen in the face,completely oblivious to the knocking on her front door. The door got kicked in and Ressler,Red,and Dembe came in. Keen obliviously continued to punch Karen,even with her broken wrist. She didn't care about the pain. She wanted Rachael to be safe the rest of her life. She heard Red and Dembe's voice faintly calling her name...telling her to stop? She couldn't tell. She hit Karen again and again,coming up with bloody fist after each time. The whole world was moving in slow motion and everything sounded muffled like she was under water. Keen didn't even hear Rachael begin to cry. _It was too late now. No turning back._ Keen picked up a shard of the lamp that had shattered and stabbed it into Karen's throat. Keen felt herself get pulled off of Karen rather viciously and everything went back to normal. All the sounds restored perfectly and the world was up to normal speed.

"Keen!" Keen turned around and seen Ressler. He was the one who pulled her off of Karen. "Take a walk Keen." he said,with warning in his voice. _No,I need to be with Rachael_. Keen looked back seen Rachael in the corner pressed against the wall whimpering.

"Hey sweetie,it's okay now." Keen said as she knelt down to level the height with Rachael. Keen reached her arms out to Rachael,but Rachael started crying even more and moved closer to Red,who was standing by the door. "Sweetie?"Keen asked as she took a step closer to Rachael and Rachael stepped back. Fear laced throughout the girl's eyes. That's when realization set in. Keen glanced down at her hands that were covered in blood,then glanced at Karen's body laying on the floor. Karen's face was smashed in so bad that you couldn't even recognize her,and where her head should be,looked more like a pool of blood with bones and brain matter. Keen gasped,mortified at her own actions. She glanced at Dembe,then Red,then Ressler. "I-I didn't mean to..I.." Keen stammered. _Take a walk Keen,_ Ressler's words rang in her ears. She walked past them all and went outside. The FBI was just showing up. Keen walked beyond them and sat on the side walk. Everything she had worked so hard for was falling apart right before her eyes. All those months of trying to get Rachael to love her was gone. _Gone._ Keen glanced up and seen Ressler sit beside her. She hoped he wasn't going to say anything,no words would help right now. Ressler gently held Keen's forearm and wrapped gauze around her broken wrist.

"She thinks I'm a monster." Keen whispered.

"She's just a little scared right now."

"She witnessed me murder someone,Ressler. She won't get over that."

"She's young,she'll forget."

"And until she does?" Keen asked,not fully excepting an answer. She only hoped that Rachael wouldn't be traumatized for the rest of her life.

"...She can stay with me." Ressler replied. Keen furrowed her eyebrows at him. At first,she could barely digest what Ressler had said. _Was he kidding?_ That would be the cruelest joke ever. Keen knew he was being serious. Keen had always thought Rachael was more like a burden to him,but right now he was showing her other wise.

"Are you sure?" Keen asked,still not fully grasping that Donald Ressler offered to take care of a child. Or better yet, _Rachael_.

"I'm sure." he replied.

Keen sighed. "Do you think she'll ever...like me again?"

"She already loves you Keen." Ressler replied as he finished taping up her wrist.

"I should probably go back." Keen said,but she wasn't quite ready to talk with the FBI nor face any of her other colleagues yet. She felt like she was gonna crumble any second and Ressler was the only thing stopping her. Ressler must have noticed this because he pulled her into an embrace. She nuzzled into his chest as she tried not to break down,but somehow she felt safe and when you felt safe,you tend to let your guard down. Tears strolled down her face as Ressler held her tighter. Keen wanted to stay this way. She wanted to keep feeling safe.

"Lizzie." Red called. Keen reluctantly untangled herself from Ressler and stood up. She felt slightly embarrassed Red had seen Ressler holding her like that. _How long was Red standing there anyway?_ "Rachael has minor injuries and the doctor says that she may be experiencing slight traumatic anxiety,but don't be intimidated by the name,it's nothing cookies and a glass of warm milk won't fix. Although,I suggest she doesn't stay at your house a for while. It'd be best if nothing reminds her about what happened. In the meantime she can stay with me."

"It's okay. She's already gonna be staying with someone else." Keen replied as she glanced at Ressler. Red glanced at Ressler,looking completely flabbergasted then regained his usual composure. Keen knew this was hard for everyone to swallow.

"Well this just got interesting." Red announced.

xxx

[An hours or so later...]

Keen walked into her house. The whole place was a wreck and there was a huge blood stain in her carpet from where the body was. _Karen's body._ She was almost glad that Rachael wasn't here to see this _. After what you did today,she's seen much worse,_ her mind cruelly told her.

"Damn you!" Keen shouted into her empty house. The Gustov family hadn't succeeded how they wanted too,but in a way they had. Rachael was still alive,but she wasn't with Keen. Keen couldn't see herself staying in this house anymore. Once something terrible happened at a place,it was impossible to feel the same. She was going to scrub the blood stains out,throw away the broken furniture,and sell the house. She would start over again. With all the things that had happened to her,she was good at starting over. She knew that. Her phone rang and she picked up on the first ring. The silence of the house was crawling under her skin,forcing her to think about the recent disturbing events.

"Hello?" Keen said.

"Hey Keen. It's Ressler." Keen smirked. She couldn't imagine mistaking Ressler's voice for anyone else's.

"Hey,is Rachael alright?" Keen asked.

"Yeah,she's getting books right now. Are you alright?"

"Actually..." Keen felt a lump in her throat. "No...no,I'm not okay and I haven't been for a while. All my life I wanted a child and when I finally got one she hated me. _Hated_ me,Ressler. Maybe I'm not the mother I thought I would be. I let the Gustov's easily take Rachael away from me,then they destroyed my home,and they turned me into something I'm not. I let them ruin the relationship I built with Rachael." Keen choked out the word 'Rachael.' "I'm a terrible mother."

"A terrible mother wouldn't kick everybody's ass till she got her daughter back. You never gave up on a little girl that most people would have. Rachael loves you,Keen." Keen felt a smile form on her face. She didn't exactly know how to answer that. She was almost scared of what she might say if she did. "You should come and see her tomorrow." Ressler added.

"I'm sure she doesn't want to see me."

"It's not as bad as you think."

Keen sighed. "You're just trying to make me feel better."

"You know I'm not that nice." Ressler replied sarcastically. Keen rolled her eyes,then realized he couldn't see her.

"So you said Rachael was getting books?"

"Yeah,apparently it's sacrilege not to own Cinderella,so we're in the store now."

"Oh my." Keen laughed.

"Yeah,I gotta go. I'll see you at work Keen."

"Bye Ressler. Take care of her."

"And take care of yourself. Ice your wrist and get some sleep. Don't clean up your house,don't look over Karen's file,just get some sleep."

"I'm guessing that's an order?" Keen replied tiredly as she heard Ressler smile over the phone.

"Goodnight Liz."

"Good nite Ressler." Keen replied and hung up with a sigh. She slid down her wall and glanced around. Her house was a mess,she felt physically terrible,and she didn't know when or if Rachael would ever feel comfortable around her again,but _Everything was gonna be alright_ ,Keen told herself,and for once it didn't feel like a lie.

 **This chapter was kinda sad :( Although,Ressler's POV will be the next chapter and there will be lots and lots of Rachael and Ressler scenes since he's taking care of her now \\(^,..,^)/**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone,I wanted to announce that I'm moving to a new house tomorrow,so I will be without internet for a month or so,which means I can't post. I will be back though so just think of this chapter as a season finale,lol :) Anyways,the totally rad people who reviewed last chapter:**

TheBlacklister23

keenler-mcswarek-girl

Guest

Jen

Kayla

Sugar1621

Guest

Dustori

 **Kayla** ,I've been floating on cloud 9 since you said I'm the best,haha,thank you so much. I love interacting with my readers and I'm so glad you appreciate that. Your comment made my day! I'm still smiling as I write this,haha,seriously :3 Anyways,to answer your question,I really do hope they go the Keenler route on TV. If (and hopefully when) Keenler does happen,which will probably be later down the line,I can definitely see Keen/Ressler having kids. Thanks for the question! Btw,I hope you do make an account because you're awesome (◕‿◕✿)

 **keenler-mcswarek-girl,** I was very cautious (maybe even scared) of making that twist at first,but I was like 'what the heck?' and took the risk Lol

 **Dustori** ,Glad you're interested :D ..mwuahaha (evil laugh)

Anyways...

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

 **Chapter Nine: "Home"**

Ressler tapped his fingers nervously against the steering wheel. He had drove to his apartment many times before,but not like this. _Why did you offer to take care of her?_ Ressler thought as he glanced in the rear view mirror and seen Rachael starring back at him. Ressler involuntarily frowned. He began to think that he was in over his head about even wanting to take care of Rachael. Well he didn't exactly want to take care of her,but Rachael didn't want to stay with Keen,and he wasn't about let the devil,also know as Raymond Reddington,have her. Ressler parked the car and glanced back into the rear view mirror again. Rachael was still starring back at him. _Would it kill her to stare out the window?_ Ressler exhaled and got out the car. He noticed Rachael hadn't even unbuckled her seat belt yet. He walked to her side of the car and open the door.

"You okay?" he asked with an arched eyebrow. Rachael nodded slowly then unbuckled her seat belt and stepped out of the car,but she didn't move an inch. She just starred at the ground then kicked at a pebble that seemed to hold her attention. This was how Ressler had expected her to be when he first met her: a seemingly depressed,shy,foster child. It should have been a good thing to Ressler,she was finally being quiet and peaceful,but this wasn't her personality. This only came about because of what she had to witness. It was a tragic scene for a four year old to see and he wanted nothing more than to make her forget. He wanted nothing more than to have that happy fire cracker of a child back.

"Am I going to a new family?" Rachael whispered as she continued to look down. If he wasn't paying close attention to her,he wouldn't have heard her. He almost didn't _want_ to hear her. "Am I going back to the adoption center?" Rachael asked,louder this time. Ressler opened his mouth to say something,but nothing came out. He had never even thought about if Rachael was ever in any other foster homes before Keen took her in.

"No.." Ressler said as he knelt down to her height. "Rach,don't worry about that."

"But...Liz is crazy. I don't wanna stay with her anymore."

"She's not crazy. She only did what she did because she was afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Rachael asked as her eye became glossy.

"Afraid of losing you. She just wants to protect you,Rachael. You don't need to be scared of her."

Tears streaking her face,Rachael looked up. "But I am. I'm scared she'll snap again."

"Hey,it's okay. Just give her a chance,okay?" Ressler said,trying his best to calm her.

"Okay." Rachael nodded as she hugged her arms around Ressler's neck and started weeping. Ressler grimaced at the sudden contact and fought the urge to pull away. Was he suppose to hug her back and tell her everything was fine? If he was,he was failing at doing either. _It's just a child,not a demon_ ,Ressler told himself then wrapped his arms around her. Had she cried for 2 minutes or 2 hours? Ressler wasn't sure,he just held her till her sobbing. She broke the hug and wiped tears off her cheeks. It was a pointless act though,the tears had already dried and they cracked away from her face. _If only her pain could disappear so easily_. He reached in his pocket and took out the gold heart shaped necklace she had given him the night she was kidnapped.

"You kept it?" she asked in complete disbelief.

"You said it was for good luck." Ressler replied and draped the necklace over her neck. Rachael smiled widely. Something Ressler wasn't expecting to see so soon,but this was Rachael,why would he expect anything besides an overly cheerful little child? "And it seems to be working." he added,with a half smile.

xxx

Ressler sat on his couch trying to read over the Gustov's file. He wanted to make sure there where no loose ends,and from what he seem,there wasn't any. This case would be labeled done soon and he could move onto a different blacklister. One that was still sadistic,but just not sadistic towards Rachael. Although,he wouldn't be upset if someone were to kidnap her right now. She was sitting on his kitchen floor banging a wooden spoon against pots and pans as she yelled nonsense at the top of her lungs. _Why did you give her pep talk? She was quiet. She was sad. She was quiet._

"It's your bedtime Rach." Ressler announced,but to be honest,he didn't know what time her bedtime was,he just wanted her to stop being so damn loud.

"But I'm not even tired." Rachael said yawning.

"Sure you aren't." Ressler replied sarcastically,getting up from the couch.

"Are you gonna read me a story?" She asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows. He had never read anything to anyone before. "Uh-sure."

"Cinderella's my favorite." Rachael replied,smiling,as she removed a pot (or helmet as she'd prefer) from her head and put down the wooden spoon.

"Alright." Ressler replied flatly as he waited for her to get the book out of her room,but instead,she climbed onto the couch. "Wheres your book?"

"This is your house." Rachael stated.

"I noticed that."

"All my books are at Liz's house. Just read me yours."

Ressler frowned,"Rachael,I don't own Cinderella."

"Why not?" Rachael asked.

"Because..." Ressler began as Rachael narrowed her eyes. _You at gotta be fuckin kidding me_. "For many reasons,Rach."

"Oh. Well we can go to the store."

"I'm not going to the store for a book."

"Do you have snow white?"

"No-I...Rach,I don't own any stories."

"Then we have to go."

Ressler sighed. _Taking care of a little girl shouldn't be this hard_. "It's late and we're not going anywhere."

"But we have too. How am I suppose to go to sleep? You don't have even own a night light!"

xxx

 _A billion kids that need adopting and Keen picked this one._ Ressler thought as he stood in the store aisle. He glanced at Rachael who was taking her time as she searched for books. Or maybe he was just feeling impatient.

"How many can I get?" Rachael asked.

"I don't care." Ressler mumbled as his numbly ran his hand over some books and stopped on one titled 'parents guide'. He slightly frowned as he numbly flipped through the book. Audrey was the kind of person who would've made him read at least twenty parent guide books before they had a child. He _would_ have been a father if she was still alive and that's what hurt the most about her death. Ressler always thought he was the type of guy who never wanted a baby,until he lost his unborn one. He figured he wouldn't be a good father anyway. Behind his sarcastic quips and big ego,he was insecure,broken even.

"What are you reading?" Rachael suddenly asked him. He didn't want to answer,for fear he was choked up,so he turned the book cover towards her so she could read it. Rachael shrugged and skipped back down the aisle like he had just showed her the most boring thing in the world. Ressler sighed as he dialed Keen's number. He was gonna have a heart attack soon if he didn't hear her voice.

"Hello?" Keen answered.

"Hey Keen. It's Ressler."

"Hey,is Rachael alright?" Keen asked.

"Yeah,she's getting books right now. Are you alright?" Maybe that was the wrong question to ask,because Keen broke down,saying what a terrible mother she was and such.

"A terrible mother wouldn't kick everybody's ass till she got her daughter back. You never gave up on a little girl that most people would have. Rachael loves you,Keen." There was a long pause so Ressler continued, "You should come and see her tomorrow."

"I'm sure she doesn't want to see me." Keen replied. _I want to see you_ ,Ressler had wanted to say,but those five words weren't meant for this time.

"It's not as bad as you think." he replied instead.

"You're just trying to make me feel better."

"You know I'm not that nice." Ressler replied sarcastically as he heard Keen smile.

"So you said Rachael was getting books?"

"Yeah,apparently it's sacrilege not to own Cinderella,so we're in the store now."

"Oh my." Keen laughed as Ressler felt Rachael tug on his shirt.

"I found them." Rachael whispered to him,referring to the books she was holding.

"Yeah,I gotta go. I'll see you at work Keen." Ressler said,slightly frowning. He didn't want to get off the phone just yet,but they said a few more parting words then hung up the phone.

"Was that Liz?" Rachael asked cautiously.

"Yeah...did you wanna talk to her?"

"No." Rachael replied quickly,then remembered what he said about giving Liz a chance and added: "I mean..not now."

xxx

Rachael was curled up on her bed,resting her head against Ressler's shoulder as he read Cinderella to her.

"...And they lived happily ever after." Ressler said,finishing the last line of the book then glanced at the clock. It was midnight. He didn't know what time Keen usually put Rachael to sleep,but he was sure it wasn't midnight.

"Can you read it again?"

"I'm not reading this eight times in a row." Ressler replied.

"It's been that many?" Rachael asked,suppressing a smile as she pretended to have not notice.

"Yep." Ressler said as he picked her up and spun her around. Rachael giggled.

"Again!" She manged to say through her fits of giggles.

"Sorry,this is where you get off." Ressler said as he laid her down and tucked her in bed. Rachael smiled as if she held a secret that she was afraid of telling. The smile pushed up her rosy cheek and finally reached her hazel eyes,lighting them up.

"I wish you were my dad." Rachael said quietly,almost shyly. Ressler opened his mouth to speak then stopped. It was the second time she rendered him speechless today. Her words echoed over in his mind. He wanted to make sure he had heard right. Then he realized he didn't want to hear her right. He didn't want Rachael getting attached to him just so he could bring her back to Keen in a couple of days and barley see her again. Rachael had been a lot. She didn't need a broken heart too.

"You _must_ be really tired." Ressler replied,giving a weak smile. "Nite Rach. Don't let the bed bugs bite." He leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Good night Dee Dee." Rachael replied.

xxx

[The next morning..]

Ressler was a lite sleeper. Maybe it was from being an agent for all those years,but even at the slightest sound he would wake up. So when a thunder footed four year came running down the hall at 5 in the morning,he sat up and rubbed his eyes. _What the hell..._ Rachael sprinted into his room and climbed on the bed. She started jumping and pointing towards the window. Ressler sighed as he literally felt a scowl mold onto his face.

"Dee Dee,it's snowing! It's snowing!" Rachael exclaimed as she pulled on his arm. "You have to see it!"

Ressler sighed again,wondering when Rachael would give up on trying to move him. "It's just snow. It's not going anywhere." he said flatly,but apparently his comment wasn't relevant to Rachael because she jumped off the bed and ran out the door.

"Race you outside!" Rachael yelled from down the hall. Ressler laid back down and glanced at the clock. _5 am_. Rachael wasn't really gonna go outside,right?...Images flashed across his mind of Rachael going outside and wondering off into the snow.

"Damn it Rachael." he muttered as he half jogged into the living room. Rachael was tip toeing in front of the living room window,trying to see over it's seal,but she was too short. He exhaled,somewhat relived that she wasn't outside. _She was safe._ Ressler walked over to Rachael. He lifted her up and rested her on his hip so she could see out the window.

"I never seen snow in real life before." Rachael said in awe as she gazed out the window.

"You'll get used to it." Ressler grumbled. _Ring Ring._ He put Rachael down and answered his phone. "Agent Ressler."

"Hey."

 _It was Keen._ Ressler wanted to tell her that he couldn't do this by himself. He wanted to tell her that he needed her. "Hey Keen."

"How's everything going?"

"It's..." He glanced at Rachael who was climbing onto a chair so she could see out the window. "..Just going."

"You know,I've been thinking about what you said yesterday. Maybe I should see Rachael. Do you think she'd..."

"She'd love to see you." Ressler replied,maybe a little too quickly. He wasn't sure if Rachael wanted to see Keen or not,but Keen was fragile right now and he just couldn't tell her anything else. He heard Keen exhale,obviously relived. "I'll bring her over there now."

"Okay" Keen replied.

"Alright,I'll see you soon."

xxx

"Remember what I said?"

"Give her a chance." Rachael repeated.

"That's right." Ressler said as he parked the car outside Keen's house. "Wait here." Ressler added then got out of the car. Keen was sitting on her porch,starring into space,and her eyes were slightly puffy like she'd been crying. She stood up when she noticed him.

"I'm so nervous." Keen said as she shook her head, "It feels like I'm about to met her for the first time."

"You'll be fine." Ressler said with a slight smile.

Keen smiled back then a sullen look fell upon her face. "Ressler,I'm sorry. I should have told you I was adopting Rachael. You should have been the first person I told. I was just...I was scared."

"Keen,why are you bringing this up?"

"I guess I'm trying to say thanks."

"Then you're welcome." Ressler said as he hugged Keen.

[Keen's Pov]

For the last two days,Keen thought of herself as broken glass,and every time Ressler held her,it was like he was keeping her from shattering. They both slightly broke the hug and starred at each other. For a second,Keen thought he was going to kiss her. _No he's not,that would be insane_. So why was he leaning forward? _Why are you leaning forward?_ A car door slammed and they both jumped away from each other like two teenagers who's parents just walked in on them making out in the kitchen.

"What a lovely day!" Red announced as he got out of the car and walked towards them. "Ah,Donald,what a coincidence seeing you here. Where's the princess?"

"She's in the car." Keen replied as she glanced at Ressler. He had is usual scowl,but his face was slightly flushed,and that was enough for Red to make a snide remark about him,so she figured she better answer instead. Red was already sporting a tight lipped smile and looking smugly at them as if they had done something wrong. _Nothing happened_ ,Keen had wanted to shout at Red.

"Rachael shouldn't be anywhere near this house or you." Red said to Keen.

"What?"

"Anything can trigger what she seen. We shouldn't take any risk."

"Reddington she's been fine." Ressler chimed in.

"She may seem okay,but she is anything but fine. The human brain tries to suppress terrible memories and that's what Rachael is doing right now,but bringing her here,where it all happened,is a vital mistake. She could get night terrors or perhaps something more permanent like having those gruesome images haunt for the rest of her life. Maybe a therapist could help her but personally,I don't believe in them."

"Then what are you suggesting?" Keen asked.

Red frowned,patiently awaiting Keen's reaction for what he was gonna say next. "I'm suggesting that we erase her memory."

"No." Keen replied,calmer than she thought she would.

"She could have a normal life."

"She has one." Keen replied,raising her voice.

"Not anymore. Things will remind her of Karen's death every day. Whether it's something complex like a bloody gun or something simple like a lamp." Red said. Keen glanced at Ressler,hoping he would defend her,but just he sent her what appeared to be an apologetic look.

"You agree with him?" Keen asked,baffled.

Ressler hesitated,"No. I just don't think it's out of the question."

"Well I do." Keen replied as she felt her eyes sting,but she's be damned if she cried in front of them,so she walked down the porch and continued to Ressler car. She opened the back door and seen Rachael sitting down,hugging her knees to her chest. The little girl looked terrified.

"Rachael,come here. It's okay sweetie." Keen told her as she reached out her arms. Keen didn't need Rachael to scoot away from her to know that Rachael was seeing her back in the house again,with bloody arms,reaching towards her. Keen bit her lip. _You can do this. This is your daughter and only you know what's best for her._

"Keen." Ressler called put as he approached his car.

"I'm not gonna entertain the idea of erasing her memory so don't try to convince me." Keen said.

"I'm not. I just want you to at least think about it."

"There's nothing to think about."

"Don't you want Rach to have a normal life?"

"Of course!"

"Then why not take her memories away?"

"Because I know how it feels to want those memories back. I know how it feels to feel incomplete,to feel like you're missing a piece to your own life and I don't want that for Rachael."

"What if-"

"I know you're trying to protect her,but so am I."

"But Reddington has a point Keen and I don't like the thought of Rachael being reminded of Karen's death everyday."

"Since when did you start siding with Red?"

"This isn't about taking a side,this is about what's best for Rachael."

"So now you care about Rachael?" Keen asked as an emotion flashed across Ressler's face. Keen wasn't sure,but it almost looked like he was upset by her comment. If she was profiling him,she would guess that he was hurt. She immediately felt guilty for saying it. Whether he liked Rachael or not,at least he took care of her.

Ressler scoffed,"Do what you want Keen. I'm done."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means I hope you're making the right decision. Now if you don't mind,I have a job to get too."

"Ressler..."

"I'll see you at work." Ressler replied shortly as he walked around to the drivers side of the car. Keen frowned. _From almost kissing to this._ Keen had no idea where they stood in their relationship now,but she knew it wasn't good. She turned to Rachael who was still sitting in the backseat of the car.

"Come on sweetie,get out of the car." Keen said as she silently pleaded for Rachael to come towards her.

"I wanna stay with Dee Dee." Rachael pouted.

"Rachael.." _Please_. Rachael finally crawled towards Keen. Keen lifted her up,forgetting that her broken wrist couldn't handle the pressure,and dropped Rachael onto the ground.

"Rachael! Are you alright?" Keen asked and received a nod from Rachael,but tears where threatening to fall. Keen held Rachael's hand and started leading her towards the house. "Let's go home sweetie."

"This is isn't home." Rachael whined as she pulled away from Keen.

"It is for now,okay?"

"Why can't we live with Dee Dee?"

"Rachael,just get in the house." Keen said as they reached the porch steps,where Red was standing.

"You're making a huge mistake. You need to stop this before it gets any worse." Red told Keen,but she ignored him and continued to literally drag Rachael up the stairs.

"I don't wanna go." Rachael mumbled through her tears. It was embarrassing to Keen. It looked like she couldn't even control her daughter. _Well,you can't,_ Keen thought as she picked Rachael up,dismissing the pain in her wrist,and went inside her house. Keen leaned against her door,taking in what just happened.

"Liz?" Rachael said quietly.

Keen sighed. _She's back to calling me Liz._ "Yes sweetie?"

"I don't like it here." Rachael murmured. Keen slid down the door till she became down to Rachael's height.

"Me either." Keen replied as she pulled Rachael close and hugged her. Keen brushed Rachael hair as the little girl sobbed into her shoulder. She didn't want Rachael to go through the trouble of having her memory erased,but maybe Red and Ressler were right. Maybe it would be best for Rachael. _No. No,that would never be best_. Although at the moment,Keen wanted nothing more than to make her forget. She wanted nothing more than to have that happy fire cracker of a child back.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey! (❁‿❁) Chapter ten! Yay! I'm glad you guys have as much fun reading as I do writing. Thanks for the support! Silent readers/follows/favs ya'll are awesome!**

 **The reviewers of last chapter:**

TheBlacklister23,Oddkatout,Debbiejw1961,Jen,Guest,SarahBeth1,Sugar1621,Guest,Guest

 **Okay,so to those who don't know what night terrors are,you should google it,because I'll be using that term in this chapter. Anyways,hopefully everyone remembers what was happening lol.**

 **Chapter Ten: "Stay"**

 **The night terrors came first.**

Rachael would wake up in the dead of the night,screaming from a night mare she had. Keen would rush to her side and try to soothe her. When she asked Rachael what she was dreaming about,Rachael would always shake her head and say nothing. Night after night,the same thing would happen.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Keen asked one night.

"No." Rachael whispered.

Keen refrained herself from frowning and forced the sides of her mouth to tilt upwards."Okay sweetie,go back to sleep." The next night,Keen made Valerian tea for Rachael. It was suppose to help her sleep and stay asleep,but it didn't work. In fact,it got worse. Rachael continued to wake up so terrified she started experiencing mini panic attacks.

 **The crying came second.**

When Rachael was in the house,she would start crying for seemingly no reason and she never wanted to be in the living room. Keen guessed that it was because of what happened there. I got to the point where it was a struggle to get Rachael out of her room.

 **The quietness came third.**

As little as Rachael had talked before,she was almost silent now. Her language consisted of nods,shrugs,and anything within a couple words. Keen tried talking to her,but when Rachael didn't want to talk,there was nothing that could make her. Rachael began crying so Keen left her alone. If she hated this place,she was definitely letting Keen know.

"I don't know what to do." Keen said into the phone as she paced in the living room.

"How bad is it?" Samar asked.

Keen sighed. "Terrible."

"I don't think her being in that house is helping any."

"I know. I don't want her in a hotel though."

"I'm surprised Red hasn't tried to move you into a lavish home yet."

"He has. I declined. I don't want to deal with him right now...It's a long story."

"I respect that,but by the sounds of it,Rachael needs to get out of that house." a pause came over the phone. "You should live with me."

"What? I can't..Samar I..I don't wanna intrude. It'd be-"

"Fine. It'd be fine."

Keen glanced at the top of the stair case,almost hoping Rachael would be standing there encouraging her to say yes. She wanted Rachael's opinion,but with this new Rachael,it wasn't happening. "I owe you Samar. I'll be there soon."

xxx

Keen tapped lightly on Rachael's door then slowly opened it. "Are you ready?" Rachael nodded and walked towards Keen with her Dora backpack slung over her slumped shoulders. It hadn't took long for either of them to pack. Keen only brought one duffle bag. She figured if this was the beginning of starting over,then so be it. "Do you remember Samar?" Rachael nodded again. Keen knelt in front of Rachael. "We're gonna be staying with her a little while. Are you okay with that?"

Rachael fidgeted with her jacket zipper,avoiding eye contact. "I'm fine."

Keen brushed a lock of hair behind Rachael's ear. "I know I'm not what you hoped for and I know everything hasn't been ideal..." Keen quietly scoffed at that understatement. "..But I love you more than anything." Rachael looked at Keen with those big hazel eyes but she didn't say anything. It wasn't the reaction Keen was hoping for,but it was the one she was expecting. Keen took Rachael's hand and guided her out the door.

xxx

"...And you and Rachael can stay in this room. Mine is right down the hall." Samar told them as she finished the tour of her house.

"Go put your stuff in your room." Keen said to Rachael. The women watched Rachael saunter into her room.

Samar frowned. "It really is terrible."

"Thanks for reminding me." Keen said sarcastically.

"So what's the 'long story' with Red?"

Keen lowered her voice so Rachael wouldn't overhear them. "He thinks Rachael's memory should be erased,but I don't know if I can do that Samar. I want her to overcome this on her own. I want her to be strong. I want her to be everything I wasn't. It's pretty sad,but that's one of the reason's I adopted her. I wanted to create a new me...a better me." Keen sighed. "Wow,I must sound pathetic."

"You sound human. Now go to work,I'll help Rachael unpack her things."

"Really?"

"Yes,go."

"Thanks Samar. I'll see you later." but Keen didn't move,she was caught in her thoughts. _What if Rachael has one of her break downs that's been happening often? What she starts crying non-stop? What if she has a panic attack?_ Keen almost fainted from just thinking about it.

Samar arched an eyebrow. "Something the matter?"

"You'll call if Rachael does anything weird right?"

Samar frowned. "Define weird."

"Uh-Never mind. Good luck." Keen smiled and went downstairs. Samar stood there with her arms crossed wondering what Keen meant by 'weird'. She was also pretty sure people didn't say 'good luck' when you where about to take care of their child. _Just how messed up was Rachael?_

xxx

When Keen arrived at the black site all of her colleagues greeted her with warm comments and hugs. Except Ressler,who was too busy working to give her a second glance. He was surely doing that on propose. She didn't mind though. Sure it bothered her,but she didn't mind. Although,it would have been nice for him to show the slightest sign that he cared. _How could he not care? How could he pretend nothing happened?!_ Keen thought miserably. They were close to kissing. _So close_. Then Red happened. Rachael happen. And the moment almost turned into them hating each other. That didn't mean they weren't suppose to talk. Keen had a thousand tabs open in her mind that needed to be said. She glanced at Ressler through her glass office window. _Still working_. Keen would wait. She'd leave when he did so she'd get a chance to talk to him,but hour after hour past and Keen fell asleep on her desk.

xxx

Ressler's stomach flipped when he seen Keen walk in. She hadn't been at the black site for a while and it was a great surprise to see her today. Everyone swarmed around her. He wanted to ask how she was but he didn't want to overwhelm her. People were already breathing down her neck. She went into her office,not bothering to come to his desk. _Why would she? You where an ass the last time she seen you. Just keep your head down and work. You can't be a fuck-up if you're working._ Ressler glanced at the clock. Hours had past by. He wanted to say goodbye to Keen but she would be gone by this time. Seeing her office light was on,he knocked twice and walked in. She was fast asleep on her desk.

"Keen. Keen." He said as he lightly tapped on her shoulder.

Keen stirred then slowly blinked. "...Don?"

He gave a half smile. "The one and only."

Keen gave a tired smile,but it reached her eyes. "How long was I out?"

"Not sure,but you usually don't stay this late."

"Yeah,I guess I got caught up."

"Well,I'm glad to have you back. Even if you do just fall asleep all day."

Keen chortled. "You're not gonna let this go are you?"

Ressler flashed a knowing smile. "Nope."

Keen stood up. "I'm glad to be back too."

"Are you gonna stay this time?"

Keen glanced down. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I mean,what if I took more than I can handle? I have Rachael too look after now...I think I should quit the bureau."

Ressler scoffed. "You're joking right? Come on Keen,you worked so hard to get here then you throw it all away?"

"It would be worth it."

"But you don't need to do it. Keen,you can't just throw something this important down the drain."

"Funny,especially coming from the guy who wants to erase Rachael's memory. I think that's pretty damn important."

"I was wrong about that. I should've defended you."

"Yeah. You should have." Keen replied in an upset tone.

"I know I screwed up,but don't act like I was the only one who said something wrong that day."

"And what did I say that was so wrong Ressler?

"I do care about Rachael."

"Then why do you act like you despise her? Why can't you be normal around her?"

"Because you might do this. You disappear from the face of the earth then come back for a week just to leave again. Now you're talking about quitting."

"Ressler.."

"I tried so hard not to like that damn child but it wormed it's way into my life. Now I have to try even harder to stop caring about it."

Keen frowned. She never realized how much her absence bothered Ressler. "I'll come back." she uttered,hoping it didn't sound like as much of a lie to Ressler as it did to her. "This is hard for me too. I've been thinking this over all the time. I wanna make sure it's the right decision."

"It's not."

Keen threw her hands up. "Jeez Ressler,what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stay." Ressler said firmly. "I want you...to stay." he repeated as his eyes locked with Keen's. His face softened into a shy boyish manner as the slightest tinge of pink graced across his cheeks then bloomed into a deep rosy color. It was like he just realized what he said. He swallowed hard,silently begging Keen to say something. Keen imagined this was how he looked in his high school days,awkwardly trying to ask his crush to prom.

"I-I can't." Keen replied as she watched his look fade as quickly as it came. She smiled inwardly,taking in that fact that he let down his walls for her,even if was just a second.

"Keen you don't need to leave. If something's wrong with Rach we'll help her."

Keen bit her lip in attempt to hold back tears. _We'll_ help her _._ Those words didn't go unnoticed. She knew Rachael would soon be herself again around Ressler. The senseless crying would stop,the night terrors would stop,she'd hold a conversation and everything would actually be fine. Keen knew that. Ressler didn't even have to try and Rachael loved him. But Keen wanted Rachael to get better because of her. She would start looking after Rachael all the time from now on,even if that meant quitting her job. "I'm sorry Ressler."

"Keen.." he replied in a pleading tone.

"I really need to focus on Rachael."

"You know,you don't always have to be strong. Sometimes others can be strong for you."

"I have to do this!"

Ressler frowned upon seeing the determination in Keen's eyes. There was nothing he could say that was gonna change her mind,but he needed her here. He couldn't just watch her quit. That wasn't even her personality,but this job wasn't her first priority anymore: Rachael was. And Ressler couldn't understand that. He could only understand how her words felt like a gunshot to the heart. He understood that she was leaving the bureau. Leaving _him._ He couldn't handle another break in his heart. This time he would build brick walls up so high nobody could reach him. "When you quit,don't bother coming back." Ressler told Keen as Aram walked in Keen's office.

"Oh hey." Aram said surprised. "I thought you guys went home. I guess we're all staying pretty late tonight." he smiled. Ressler stormed out of the door without the slightest acknowledge to Aram. "Uh-Did I say something wrong?" Aram asked. Keen shook her head 'no' and walked past Aram also. Tear where brimming the surface of her eyes.

xxx

Keen drove back to Samar's house. She wanted to take her mind off of Ressler,but that would be hard when Rachael always asked about him. Lucky for Keen,Samar was just putting Rachael to sleep when she arrived.

"That was the third time I put her to sleep." Samar told Keen as she closed Rachael's bedroom door. "I put her to bed an hour ago and she woke up twice screaming and crying. Not to mention she spoke three words all day."

"She's been a little...off lately."

"What the is going on Elizabeth? I thought she was getting better."

"She is."

"This is better? She needs professional help."

"Please give me a chance with her." Keen pleaded.

Samar shrugged. "I was making a suggestion. Next time just tell me everything that's wrong with her."

"Hopefully there won't be a next time..." Keen glanced down. "I was wishing there wouldn't be a first."

Samar frowned. "Come on,let's go downstairs."

They sat on the couch drinking tea. The atmosphere was quiet,almost to quiet,as if they where both listening to hear Rachael start screaming from a nightmare. Unfortunately,that was a sound Keen had gotten use to.

"How was work?" Samar asked,breaking the silence.

Keen set her teacup on the table. "Ressler and I aren't on great terms."

"That Figures. You two are like an old married couple."

Keen smirked. "It felt like trying to solve a puzzle with no answer."

"It's gonna be fine."

"No Samar,it's not. I keep telling myself that but it never does. Red wants to erase Rachael's memory and Ressler hates me because I'm going to quit."

"He doesn't hate you. He's worried. Why are you quitting anyway? You're very valuable asset to our team. Just take a break long enough to get yourself together."

"Yeah.." Keen replied.

"See,now your problem with Ressler is fixed,once he knows you're coming back to work."

Keen wasn't about to tell Samar the last thing Ressler told her and she definitely wasn't going to tell her how she was about to do exactly what he didn't want her to do: Leave for a while,then come back. She realized this would hurt Ressler. Maybe their friendship would take a dive for worst. _It will_ ,her mind cruelly told her. She didn't want to lose Ressler,that was the last thing she wanted. _I want you too stay_ ,Ressler's words echoed in Keens mind. It was even more powerful than Rachael's screams that played over in her mind. But Keen wasn't going to stay,she would take a break and focus on Rachael. She was going to risk everything she built with Ressler so she could get Rachael better on her own. It might be stubborn,maybe even selfish,but this was her daughter. Keen blinked away tears and slightly nodded. Samar didn't need to know any of that. Keen would keep that bottled inside while giving a tight smile on the outside.

 **[Three months Later...]**

"Hurry up sweetie. We gotta go. Don't wanna be late on your big day." Keen said as she watched Rachael finish her cereal.

"What if I don't like pre-school?"

"You will,don't worry. There's gonna be kids your age and it's gonna be lots of fun." Keen assured her but Rachael didn't see convinced. It had been three months since Keen and Ressler had argued and neither bothered contacting each other. Keen would slyly ask Samar how Ressler was doing without sounding completely worried sick about him. Samar would say fine then her answers would become more vague like: 'You should come back to work. Things are...different now.' or 'He misses you even if he never admits it.' but then Samar started avoiding the question and that scared Keen.

"What if I'm unteachable" Rachael asked.

"Your not. Now stop worrying okay? We're gonna stop by a coffee stop first so-"

"Hurry up?" Rachael interrupted. A slow smile went across Keen's face. Rachael was back. She had been for about a week now. She wasn't super happy but she was talking and her night terrors had stopped. Keen had moved them out of Samar's house the next morning after they moved in. When they moved into the hotel,Keen actually considered taking Rachael's memories away. Being woken up by blood curling screams from your four year old can make you reach for drastic measures,but Keen didn't give in to Red. Not even when he insisted on getting her a house...well,more like a mansion.

"That's right. Hurry up." Keen said as she kissed Rachael forehead.

"I'm ready." Rachael replied,grabbing her huge pink teddy bear off the kitchen table.

Keen frowned. "Rachael..." With a sigh,Rachael set the bear back down. Keen sadly knew that bear was a big part of Rachael's 'healing process'. She had started carrying it everywhere. It annoyed Keen at first,mostly because she thought about Ressler every time she seen it,but she let Rachael carry it as long as she didn't take it outside. Keen remember when Ressler showed up at her door apologizing while holding that bear for Rachael. For the last three months Keen half expected to hear a knock on her hotel door and see Ressler standing there,lamely trying to apologize,but the knock never came.

"Alright,let's go." Keen said,not surprised her voice cracked. If Rachael had noticed she didn't act like it. _Don't get choked up. Not now._

xxx

Keen held Rachael's hand as they entered the coffee shop.

"What are we getting here?" Rachael asked sniffing the air.

"I'm getting coffee and you're getting a big big muffin."

Rachael grinned her semi toothless smile. "Chocolate muffin!"

"Of course." Keen smiled,realizing this was the first time Rachael was getting excited about something besides when she offered her ice cream. _Food. It's always food with kids._ "Can you be big girl and order for us?"

Rachael nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Good." Keen said as she handed Rachael some money. Rachael dashed to the counter almost bumping into people's knees. Keen regretted it but Rachael was started pre-school soon and this was her way of letting go. _Four years old and you're already starting to let her go._ Keen smiled to herself and shook her head. _Relax._ Keen glanced around the shop,looking for a seat. Her breathe hitched when she seen Ressler sitting down at a table tapping in his fingers nervously against a cup. His hair was longer, a light brown color. He wore causal clothes instead of the suits Keen was used to seeing him in. Keen knew she was sporting a blush and a surprised smile. The kind you get when you find something you thought you had lost. As Ressler's eyes met hers she felt her insides warm more than coffee could ever do.

The sides of Ressler's mouth tugged upwards slightly. So slightly Keen thought if was a grimace. _Was he happy to see me?_ But his eyes where soft,maybe even assumed at seeing how flustered she was after all these months. He gave a genuine smile and nodded her to sit down. With slow and steady steps,Keen walked over to his table and sat opposite of him. She was a profiler so it wasn't hard to see the evident hurt Ressler was trying to desperately hide. It almost broke her heart. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened between now and three months ago,but in this moment,she wished she had stayed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi** **ʕ◕౪◕** **ʔ** **Sorry for the two week wait for a post. I have school and tennis but I'll try to post at _least_ once a week. Shout out to the super sick reviewers of last chapter:**

TheBlackLister23

Guest

Guest

Kennedy

Hannah1203

Ohhval

Guest

Sugar1621

SarahBeth1

Jen

 **OKAY. I noticed that a strictly Lizzington shipper is following my story. (◕‿◕✿) Yep,I'm dragging them over to Keenler side,haha. Anyways,I just baked cupcakes and I feel really fun today so I'll reply to some comments.**

 **Kennedy** ,Yay! I love first time reviewers. Silent readers are great though. Thanks for saying this is perfect. I think any story with a scoop of bad-a Keen and sprinkles of Ressler with a child is perfect.

 **Guest** ,(you know which one you are) Thanks for pointing out the saw and seen thing,but saying 'wanna' and 'gonna' is normal. Thanks for the tips,but no thanks. Glad you're liking this story though :)

 **Ohhval** ,YOU. Your comments are always on point! :) Bad-a Liz is the best Liz. We need some more Bad-a Ressler in fan fiction and in the show as well. He's always getting hurt. Like seriously.

 **Hannah1203** **and Guest** ,Everybody is gunning for a Keenler kiss! OMG. Stoppp!...or not. **ʘ‿ʘ**

 **SarahBeth1** ,I know. I'm hoping we can see something like that on the show if he finds her. I imagine he might beg for her to turn herself in or something like that,but Idk. I can't wait till season three. But back to your point,it _was_ sad.

 **Anyways,onto the story...the POV's (point of views) will be switching back and fourth in this chapter and there will be also narrative parts..so...keep up.** ಠ_ಠ

 **Chapter Eleven: "Some People Care Too Much,I think it's called love" -Winnie the Pooh**

Having personal feelings for someone made you weak. It made you reckless. And Ressler wasn't any of those. The moment he saw Keen in the coffee shop he should have left. _Just get up and leave_ ,he told himself. _Leave like she did three months ago._ Instead,he gestured for her to sit down. He silently scolded himself for being so damn weak. He had no idea what to expect. The last time he seen her she was a mess trying to get Rachael better. _She definitely seemed well now_. Keen sat down with slightly flushed cheeks. She looked nervous,almost worried,as if anticipating what's to happen next.

"Hi." Keen said cautiously.

"Hey." Ressler replied as he gave a reassuring smile. He almost never seen her this nervous and he couldn't help but try to let her know that it was alright. That their friendship was alright. Even though it was a lie because he knew their friendship was far from alright. Keen's shoulders dropped in relief. He guessed she didn't know what to expect either. He told himself not to get close again but Keen was making it hard. _Why didn't you just leave?_

 **[Keen's POV]**

A million questions ran through Keen's head. She didn't want to say something that would make Ressler leave. Hell,she didn't even want to take Rachael to pre-school anymore. She wanted to sit at this table and empty all the questions she had.

"Hi." Keen uttered cautiously.

"Hey." Ressler replied giving a reassuring smile "Special day?"

 _How did he..?_ Keen remember that this was where she went when she told him about adopting Rachael. Maybe it was the smell of coffee that made her feel like she could do anything. "I'm taking Rachael to pre-school."Keen explained as she felt a weird sense a pride wash over her. She wanted to tell him all about how Rachael got better because of _her_. Not him or Red. She waited for this moment so long. She would look like a real mother who actually knew how to take care of her daughter. She wanted to gloat and tell him how he wasn't the only one Rachael loved anymore,but the rugged looking Ressler that sat in front of her made her say nothing. It all seemed very petty now.

Ressler gave a half smile. "Sounds intimidating."

Keen chortled. _He still had his humor. He still had those green eyes. Still had that damn smile._ But something was off with him. _Wrong with him_. He seemed more alert and somber. Keen leaned forward and placed her hand over his. She studied his face,trying her best to put her years of profile training to use. _Nothing._ Ressler was different. He was hard to read. "What happened to you?" she asked in a steady whisper. Hearing the words a loud made her regret them. Ressler blinked and leaned back into his seat,removing his hand from under hers. Keen slightly grimaced at the warmth of his hand leaving hers. A tray with a coffee and a muffin slid half-way onto their table. Keen glanced at it,not really noticing,and starred back at Ressler.

"Dee Dee?" Rachael said quietly as she pushed the tray further onto the table. Her eyes widen upon recognition. "Dee Dee!" she flung her arms around his neck,pulling him down into a hug,as tears brimmed the edges of her eyes. "I missed you so much!"

"I'm here now. It's okay Rach." Ressler told her as he hugged her back.

"Don't..Don't leave me..." She mumbled into his shoulder. Keen bit her lip as she stared at those two. _Did Rachael think it was Ressler's fault why she couldn't see him?_ She glanced around the shop and seen people where taking notice of the scene Rachael was making. This moment was for her,Rachael,and Ressler. Not others. It oddly reminded Keen being at the airport with Jana Rosa. Probing eyes watching her every move as they tried to piece together what was happening in her life,but this was a puzzle no one would come close to guessing. Some people in the shop gave warm smiles. It probably looked like a family reuniting or something nice along those lines,but Keen knew better. This wasn't a happy ending. This was a mysterious beginning. She mouthed 'outside' to Ressler then she got up. She had her own life to figure out and people trying to figure it out for her was surely annoying. Ressler stood up holding Rachael and followed shortly behind Keen.

Rachael wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "Where are we going?"

"Just outside." Ressler answered.

"Are you gonna stay with us?"

"I heard you're going to pre-school today." Ressler said changing the subject.

"Yeah...Liz is taking me. Is it gonna be scary?"

"Probably,but a good kind of scary."

She plucked at his hair. "What's that?"

"It's like taking a risk. Like how Liz did when she adopted you." he paused. "Like how you could if you called her mom."

"But Liz isn't my mom." Rachael murmured into his shoulder.

"That's the point. A risk is doing something new,maybe even scary and a little dangerous. I know having a mom appointed to you is weird,but you have to try. Will you try to call her mom?"

"Okay,I promise. Just don't leave again." Rachael was on the brink of tears again.

"Keep it together sport." Ressler whispered as he set her on the ground.

Keen,who was basically feeling liked chopped liver now,gave a nervous smile. She couldn't hear what they where saying but she figured she was in second place in Rachael's eyes again. "Come on sweetie." Rachael pouted. "Rachael.." Rachael then slowly sauntered over to Keen. "She's just a really worried about starting pre-school." Keen tried to explain Rachael's sad behavior,but the obvious truth smothered the lame excuse.

"Do we have to go now?" Rachael asked.

"Honey,you left your muffin inside. Why don't you go get it?" Keen said. She was just stalling. She imagined she felt a lot like Rachael; she wanted to delay saying goodbye to Ressler as much as possible.

"Okay." Rachael replied as she walked back into the coffee shop. The adults watched the little girl leave then looked at each other,starring slightly longer than necessary because no one attempted to speak first.

"I see your wrist is better." Ressler stated.

Keen involuntarily rubbed her former broken wrist. "Yeah." She had almost forgotten about it. _How the hell did he remember after three months?_ She suddenly felt guilty for not asking how he was. He _was_ the one that looked the like train wreck after all. "What about you? Any new bumps or bruises I should know about?"

Ressler shrugged.

"Come on,you can't tell me special agent Ressler didn't get hurt for three whole months." Keen said in an exaggerated tone.

Ressler smirked...or scoffed. Keen couldn't tell which. "I hope getting stabbed counts." he replied rather dryly as raised his shirt up just enough to show that his side was patched up.

Keen furrowed her eyebrows till she felt a head ache coming on. "What happened?"

"Cooper sent me undercover to take down a drug cartel...hence the makeover." Ressler gestured to his tousled brown hair. "I got close with the Russian leader and spent time collecting information about their trades. During one of the meetings things went sideways." Ressler slightly grimaced then regained his composure again. "The SWAT team came just in time though. We recovered most of their drugs and eighteen people where arrested,so you could call the mission a success."

"Ressler I'm so sorry. I should have-"

"Been there? Keen,it's okay." he gave a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Keen knew there where details of Ressler's mission that he wasn't going to tell her. The things that he couldn't cope with right now. The things that made Keen wish more than anything that she was by his side at that time. _If I was there he wouldn't have gotten hurt._

"It's not your fault Keen. Don't be so hard on yourself. I kind of wish I was there for you."

 _He's getting this mind-reading thing down._ "I'm sure taking care of a child isn't as hard as taking down a drug cartel."

Ressler shrugged. "I don't know Keen. It's Rachael we're talking about."

Keen chortled and locked eyes with Ressler. Everything was becoming clear to her. Or maybe blurry. Did it really take three months apart to realize that... _that what?_ Keen took a deep breathe. "Ressler-"

Rachael skipped out of the coffee shop with her muffin. Keen was glad Rachael came at that time. It was no telling what stupid thing she might have said. Although,it was bitter-sweet because Keen didn't want to leave just yet. Keen gave an apologetic look to Ressler. "I gotta take her to preschool."

"Good luck." Ressler replied. Keen studied his face once more. She tried to read him. To get something. _Anything_. He was emotionless.

"Is Dee Dee coming with us?" Rachael asked.

Keen hesitated,hoping Ressler would say yes,but that was a silly thought. He had things to do-work probably. "Uh-no sweetie. Let's go." Keen told Rachael but she kept her eyes on Ressler.

Ressler gave a slight parting nod and started in the other direction. Keen sighed and refrained herself from calling him back. _Back for what?_ Keen tugged Rachael's arm slightly as they walked to her car. _Why didn't you stay?_ Keen repeated to herself. She spent the whole drive to the pre-school thinking about what would be happening now if she had.

xxx

Keen held Rachael's hand as they walked into the school office. "Welcome to Honey Comb Pre-K. Have a seat." greeted an older plump grayish-red haired woman with round rimmed glasses,rainbow earrings,and wrinkled pale skin. "I'm Miss Dante but you can call me Susan." she gave a short smile. One that said she was having a long day.

"Hi,I'm Elizabeth and this is Rachael."

The woman squinted over her incredibly huge glasses and leaned forward. As she smiled,crinkles formed around her eyes and mouth. "Hello Rachael."

Rachael flinched and sunk deeper into her chair as she starred wide-eyed at the woman. Keen cleared her throat. "I was wondering when I can enroll Rachael?" Keen wanted to move past that scene as quickly as possible. She didn't want Susan disliking Rachael from the start. The older woman typed away on her out dated computer then once again glanced over her glasses to look at them. "As early as Monday...she seems like a charm." Sarcasm laced through the last words. Or maybe that was just her raspy voice.

"She is." Keen replied,glancing at Rachael who was still probably wondering what planet Susan came from. "We'll be back Monday. Let's go sweetie." Keen added as she held Rachael's hand. Rachael literally dragged them both out of the room.

xxx

"You definitely need better people skills." Keen said playfully as they walked down the hall.

Rachael slightly shrugged.. "Are all old people like that?"

Keen laughed. "I hope not. So are you excited about this place?"

Rachael shrugged again and clutched her necklace that hung from her neck. She always did that when she was nervous. It didn't make sense to Keen because Red had given it to her and as far as she knew it hadn't meant much to Rachael. "Something wrong?"

"No." Rachael replied quietly. Keen knelt in front of Rachael. There was no need to ask again. The question was on her face. "...I don't wanna be alone." Rachael admitted.

Keen refrained herself from frowning and squeezed Rachael's shoulders. "You're gonna have so much fun you won't even notice I'm gone."

Rachael twirled the necklace once more,creating a knot. "Promise?"

Keen honestly didn't know how Rachael would like school,but with her voice so desperate and full of youthful innocent,there wasn't a hell Keen wouldn't walk through in order to repeat her answer if Rachael had asked again. "Promise."

Rachael hugged Keen. "Thanks mom." _Mom? She hasn't called me mom in months..._

xxx

"She seems well." Red said as he carefully watched Rachael climb up the monkey bars on the playground.

"Does that mean you will admit that you where wrong?" keen asked,referring to him wanting to erase Rachael's memory.

"Oh she still has problems. You just can't see that them yet."

"You just don't want to say that you where wrong."

"I have owned up to far worse misspoken words than this."

"Sure." Keen replied flatly.

"But tell me Lizzie,why did you call me out here? I'm sure it wasn't just to gloat."

Keen sighed. She was starting to regret calling Red. Maybe Samar would have been better. "I need you to watch Rachael" she paused. "..I have business to take care of." she added when she seen Red tilt his head-a subtle way of asking for an explanation.

"Donald wouldn't have anything to do with this 'business' would he?"

Keen felt her face go hot and knew a blush would betray her words. "No."

Red gave her a stare that said he undoubtedly didn't believe her. He focused his attention back on Rachael. "I hear the princess starts pre-school tomorrow."

"How-?" Keen shook her head. "One day I will find out how you know everything."

"Don't hold your breathe." He replied dryly.

"So you'll watch her?" Keen asked,ignoring his comment.

"Of course! I'll play the fun grandfather card."

Keen raised her eyebrows. "Grandpa,huh? So Rachael will grow up thinking that you're my dad?"

"Would you rather tell her the truth?"

"I barely know what that is."

Red smiled. "Then grandpa it is."

Keen shrugged. "Alright then...dad"

Red fixed his fedora. "So is it no peanut butter or no chocolate?"

"Don't even joke about that." Keen replied as she glanced towards Rachael who was now hanging from the bars with all her slight strength. "Be careful!" Keen shouted to her.

"She will be the most spoiled princess of all the land."

"Oh no..no. I don't want you giving her any over-the-top toys or taking her to any fancy places. She four. Keep it simple."

Red gave an incredulous look.

Keen rolled her eyes. "Goodbye Red. I'll be back in a couple of hours." she stood up from the park bench.

"Have fun taking care of your...'business' "

Keen frowned. _Damn you_. "It's not what you think."

"What do I think?"

"Never mind." Keen mumbled as she continued to her car.

"You'll have to tell me how you did it." Red called to her. She turned around and scrunched up her face in confusion. "How you fixed Rachael." he explained.

Keen shoved her hands in the jacket pocket as she wished she actually had an explanation. She didn't know how Rachael got better. She just did. "Credit goes to a necklace and pink bear." she replied dryly,but Red wouldn't understand what that meant. Keen smiled. For once the tables turned. No wonder he liked keeping her in the dark all the time. It was fun knowing things other people didn't. She walked back to her car,but not without another glance at Rachael on the swings and Red who was standing there trying to figure out the seemingly riddle she had just given him.

xxx

Ressler stood shirtless in front of his bathroom mirror. He had just unwrapped the tape on his stab wound and was about to re-tape it when a knock came at the door. He cursed and went to open the door. He hoped it wasn't Aram,who had already visited him three times since he got back from his mission. He opened the door and seen Keen standing there. Ressler frowned to himself as he suddenly felt self conscious. He never wanted to be that guy who just 'happened' to open the door shirtless. Even Keen had a taken back expression then quickly regain her composure.

"I had to know if you where okay." she said.

"I'm okay." he replied coldly,suggesting that she didn't need to come in. Keen frowned and stood her ground. Seeing she wasn't going to leave that easily,he opened the door wider.

Keen walked in. "Thank you." A twinge of sarcasm in her voice.

"I'm pretty busy so whatever you came here for-"

"I'll be gone soon." Keen interrupted flatly and refrained herself from adding 'jackass'. She smirked to herself as she wished she had half the nerve to actually say it.

Ressler slightly nodded. "Alright."

"You know,you don't have to act like you hate me."

"I need to wrap this." Ressler mumbled to himself,gesturing to his side. Keen chewed the inside of her mouth. It felt like stepping on glass every time he ignored her.

"You don't have to act like you hate me." she said louder this time.

Ressler sighed. "Damn it Keen. I don't hate you."

"Then stop acting like it."

"I don't want to talk about this now."

"Ressler-"

"I said I don't want to talk about it." he replied with a stern finality that Keen didn't think he had. She felt the familiar metallic taste of blood as she bit the inside of her mouth too hard. It was obvious he didn't want to talk but she couldn't let this go. Not now.

"Ressler-"

"You can't just give a damn when you want too and just expect everything to fall into place when you get back."

"I didn't expect that! I expected normal Ressler. Not _this_."

"When someone falls in love with you,you don't leave them."

Keen's mouth started moving but no words came out. She blinked and clenched her jaw shut. "You...you fell in love with me?"

Ressler sighed. "For crying out loud..."

"Don-" .. _I fell in love with you too._

"Don't call me that. It's Ressler and we're partners. _Just_ partners." _Don't get close,_ Ressler told himself. He wouldn't allow himself to get hurt again.

Keen stepped forward. "I know you're scared. I am too but-"

Ressler grimaced. "Stop."

 _He's doing it. He's locking you out._ Keen swallowed screams of frustration. _One minute he say's he loves you and the next he seems not to even want you around._ There was a reason behind all of this. Keen knew that. Ressler always had his damn good reasons for everything he did and there was only one way she was going to find out: by asking. "Why are you pushing me away?"

Ressler sighed as if the answer was so simple to see. For a second Keen thought he wasn't going to answer until he face went sullen. "After all we have been through I was hoping you would stay." the room seemed to go eerily silent. His voice had that same wounded tone from three months ago that continued to seep into her heart.

"I was hoping so too." She replied quietly and meant every word. A German shepherd came running down the hall. "Woah." Keen gasp.

"It's okay,she's friendly." Ressler said as he crouched down to pet the dog.

"What's her name?" Keen asked a little cautiously,completely intrigued by the four-legged friend.

"Mattie."

"I never thought for you to be an animal person."

Ressler shrugged. "She went undercover with me." he gave a boyish smile. "I had to keep her."

Keen smiled back,a little more to herself though. "I always knew you where a softy at heart."

Ressler chortled and stood up as if just noticing he had been petting a big fluffy dog. He awkwardly ran his hand through his hair-Keen could tell he wasn't used to it being this long-and looked at her. The first genuine look she had seen all day. In that moment he wasn't trying to stop himself from getting close to her. In that moment he seemed to understand why she left. In that moment he realized how much he actually missed her. He missed her laugh,her smile,and even the way she would furrow her eyebrows when she got upset. _Having personal feeling for someone made you weak and reckless_. Their argument from three months ago came rushing back like a freight train. He never thought he would find himself begging for someone not to leave,especially not Keen. What was she to him anyway? "Uh,I should-" He gestured to his stab wound. He really did need to tape it,but right then he just said it to find an excuse to leave the room.

"Does it hurt?" Keen asked as she stepped closer. She had read through his bull crap and wasn't going to let him leave that easily. Mattie slowly walked to the couch and laid there.

Ressler smirked. "When I first got stabbed or now?"

"This isn't funny. Something terrible could have happened to you."

"Would that necessarily have been a bad thing?"

Keen frowned. "Yes..More than you know." her eyes went to the start of his scar which started just below his rib cage. She numbly reached out and touched it then traced her fingers down it until it stopped at the start of his jeans. It seemed to keep going down to his thigh but Keen wasn't about to ask him to take off his pants. It was probably slightly inappropriate and would definitely be taken the wrong way. "How much time did Cooper tell you to take off?" she asked. She knew how Cooper was. He wasn't going to let one of his best agents work while badly injured. Though she also knew how Ressler was,and he wasn't going to work at a desk. So his answer didn't surprise her at all.

"Cooper doesn't know I got hurt.." Keen frowned. "Come on Keen. I can't work a damn-"

"Desk job,I know." Keen replied finishing his sentence. "Don't worry I won't say anything." she added as she took a step back,realizing that she was still touching his waist. She flushed bright pink and Ressler's face somewhat mirrored hers. _Ring,Ring_. She jumped a little and picked up her phone.

"Hello?" Keen answered.

"Lizzie." _Red._ "Almost done with your...business?"

She could literally feel Red smiling that smug smile. She nervously shifted her weight from side to side. _Why was he calling?_ "Yeah."

"You know,I've dealt with a lot of people with different back grounds that came from completely different worlds and not one was as impossibly difficult as Rachael. A very baffling abstruse little girl. I mean does anything make her happy?"

"I don't know." Keen mumbled. She wasn't paying much attention. "I'll be there soon."

"She got sick of a pony ride." Red continued incredulously. " _A pony ride_!"

Keen frowned. "Pony ride? Red,I said nothing fancy."

"So you'll be here soon you say?" Red asked ignoring her. "Because Rachael can't wait to see you."

"Seriously?" Keen asked disbelievingly.

"Well,sort of. She spilled Gelato ice cream all over the limousine and herself. She's been asking for you for the last 20 minutes. She hasn't liked anything yet...Although,she thinks Dembe's mysteriousness is _extremely_ cool."

"She seems to like the mysterious ones." Keen replied dryly as she glanced at Ressler,who was putting on his shirt. "Bye Red."

"Good bye Lizzie. Oh,tell Donald I said hi. I hope his side gets better."

Keen covered the phone with her hand. "Red said he hopes your side gets better."

"How did he-" Ressler scowled as he mumbled to himself.

Keen stifled a laugh as she put the phone back up to her ear. "He said thank you."

"Doubtful. Bye Lizzie."

"Bye." Keen replied and the phone hung up.

"I'm guessing you have to leave?"

keen sighed. "Yeah. I better go and pick Rachael up...I'll see you at work."

"Wait you...you're back?"

"And I think I'm staying this time."

Ressler suppressed a smiled. "It'll be nice to have a partner again."

"Yeah. It will." Keen opened the front door. "Oh and uh...thanks."

Ressler arched an eyebrow. "For?"

"Rachael is calling me mom again...and don't pretend that wasn't your doing."

"See you at work Liz."

Keen smiled and Ressler watched her leave. _So much for not getting close again,_ he thought sarcastically. _How the hell did you end up telling her that you love her?_ He hoped Keen wouldn't remember that. He kind of wished he could start the whole day over. Although he knew if he could,he would still stay when he seen her in the coffee shop earlier. He didn't like the fact that she was slowly becoming his everything.


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for checking this out :)**

 **Shout out to the reviewers:** Lin.90 (sorry it wouldn't let me write yuan yuan),TheBlacklister,Sugar1621,SarahBeth1,Guest,Kayla,Jen,Ohhval

 **(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ**

 **Chapter Twelve: "The Turning Point"**

Keen starred through her wind shield of her parked car. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so worried and happy at the same time. Her knuckles where turning a pale blue color from clutching the steering wheel too tight. She let it go and tucked loose hair behind her ear then untucked it again.

"Ready?" Keen asked as she looked over at Rachael in the passenger seat. Rachael nodded once. A shy nod that reminded Keen of when she had first seen her. "Come on," Keen smiled. "You're gonna have a great day." She hoped it didn't sound like she was giving herself a pep talk.

They walked through the school doors hand in hand. Keen absentmindedly squeezed Rachael's hand too tight but the little girl didn't complain. The cold air and empty halls made an unnerving feeling wash over them. Change was scary. Scary and exciting. How was Keen suppose to leave Rachael alone with all those teachers? And all of those kids? _Paranoid. You're paranoid._ Being overprotective was one of the perks that came along with being an agent. Or did that come along with being a parent? Maybe that just came when you cared too much.

Heels clacked against the vinyl flooring as Susan walked towards them. She glanced at her watch then back at them. "Early bird gets the worm I see." it wasn't a flattering tone.

"Sorry. I didn't want to be late." Keen replied.

Her answer didn't seem to amuse Susan. "Rachael's class is down the hall then take a right. The teachers are all here just waiting on the students...that usually arrive at 7."

Keen gave a tight lipped smile. One that expressed every bit of annoyance that she was feeling. "Thank you."

Susan waved her arm in a dismissive manner. "Have a nice day." She squinted over her glasses at Rachael like she was going to say something the then thought the better of it and turned into her office. Keen and Rachael exchanged looks. The day wasn't starting off well. Actually,last night wasn't too promising either.

When Keen picked up Rachael last night,she found out that Rachael had not only spilled ice cream on herself like Red had said,but she was covered in it. Red also left out the part that Rachael was crying. And asking for Ressler. On the phone Red had said she was asking for Keen,so it was very disappointing (and cute) when Keen walked into Red's place to find Rachael covered in ice cream and yelling 'Dee Dee' at the top of her lungs.

"At least _someone_ likes Donald." Red had quipped.

Keen rolled her eyes and picked up Rachael. Her car seat got stained with ice cream and she spent hours cleaning it out. Just her luck,Rachael didn't want to go to sleep due to her sugar rush. After many failed attempts,Keen finally got Rachael to fall asleep by 5 am but ended up waiting just another hour before heading to school. They arrived 30 minutes before any classes actually started and Keen was running solely on the adrenaline rush of Rachael's first day.

"Hi." breathed a teacher as they opened the classroom door. "I'm Brent."

"Elizabeth." They shook hands and Brent held the handshake longer than necessary. Keen refrained a frown as he blushed and nervously stuffed his hands in his pockets. He was the typical attractive fresh-out-of-college looking guy. _A little young for a teacher,_ Keen thought.

"Is this Rachael?" he asked.

"Yeah." Keen smiled at Rachael.

"Susan said a lot of things about her." he smiled. "I can't believe she didn't mention you."

 _Oh boy.._ "Should I leave Rachael here or.."

"Yeah,yeah. Class starts soon. You're welcome to stay until the rest of the kids show up." a slow flush went across his face.

"I have work." Keen replied flatly. She felt sorry for the guy. He was flirting so hard and she was having none of it.

"Right." He nervously hand a through his hair. "So you work and get the kids to school?"

"Yep." Keen replied. She figured he was putting two and two together. She worked,took the kid to school, _and_ Rachael was adopted. Everything screamed that she was single. More kids started coming into the classroom and Keen slipped out the door. But not before Brent smiled at her. A small and quick smile that was only meant for her.

xxx

 **[The Blacksite]**

"Agent Keen,you came just in time. We're briefing a case." said Cooper as she walked out of the elevator.

"Alright." Keen replied.

Cooper tilted his head and frowned. "Is everything alright at home?"

Keen guessed she wasn't looking her best today. No sleep and no coffee was never a good combination. "I'm fine. Long night I guess." they started walking. "What's the case?"

"It's pretty disturbing actually: it's a Blacklister. He's called 'The Sculptor' known for poisoning and skinning his victims...to which he collects as trophies." Cooper went on to describe more about their next Blacklister but Keen's mind drifted to Rachael. She wondered how her daughter was doing and if she was making friends easily. She hoped Rachael would fit in and open up more once she spent time in school.

"Keen."

Keen glanced up at Ressler. By the way he called her name she was sure it wasn't the first time he had called her. He was sporting his usual scowl and un-fazed composure. She glanced at her other colleagues who where looking expectantly at her.

"Uh-yes?"

Ressler frowned deeper. Keen didn't have to be a profiler to know that he was frustrated. "I said..'do you think baiting him would be a good idea?'."

"Baiting him?"

It was Cooper's turn to frown. "Agent Keen,have you been listening at all?"

"I-" she couldn't think of a valid excuse. "No sir."

"Take a break. When your mind is clear you can come back."

Keen reluctantly nodded and walked into her office. She lamely tossed the new file across her desk and leaned back in her chair. Minutes later her office door opened and Ressler walked in with a cup of coffee.

"Here you go."

"Thanks." Keen murmured as she took the cup.

"No problem. It looked like you needed it."

Keen smirked sarcastically. "Because every woman wants to hear that."

"I didn't mean that. I just-"

"Ressler." Keen raised her eyebrows. "I'm joking."

Ressler seemed somewhat relived. "Of course."

"Did you want to sit?"

"No,I'm gonna go back out there."

"Okay."

Ressler nodded as he linger in the room like he was going to say something else,but he seemingly thought the better of it and opened the door to leave.

"Ressler." Keen called.

He turned around. "Yeah?"

"Uh-Do you want to come over tonight? I was gonna surprise Rachael with a cake for her first day of school and make this big dinner and hang up lights and.." _Stop rambling._ "It's just a little family thing. I know she'd be glad if you where there."

Ressler gave the slightest resemblance of a grimace then he cleared his throat. "You're really lucky too have her Keen. You two have fun. I'm gonna stay late tonight."

Keen forced a smile as she tried to hide her disappoint. "Yeah. Yeah."

He nodded slightly and walked out the door. She sighed and sipped her coffee. Much too her surprise,it was exactly how she drank it. She had never told Ressler how she liked it but somehow he knew. Did he really observe her? _Study her?_ What offer little things did he know about her? Keen frowned. She suddenly felt an overwhelming sadness for his past relationship with Audrey. Sure,it must have been frustrating that your lover was obsessed with finding a criminal,but that was the only thing Audrey seen. She couldn't see how much Ressler actually loved her. Keen pushed her coffee away from her. The disturbing case would definitely take her mind off of things. She wondered if that was why Ressler was so into his work. This job made you forget. Just for a little while.

xxx

Keen stopped by the bakery and picked up a cake for Rachael before heading to her school. When she got there only Rachael and one other kid where left in the classroom. It was obvious that she was one of the 'late' parents,but Brent didn't seem to mind. He flashed an easy smile and approached her.

"Hey."

"Hey,sorry I'm late. Was Rachael okay in class? She can be a handful sometimes but I promise she's good."

Brent laughed. He was finding a worried Liz to be amusing. "It's alright. She was good. She's nice. It's her classmates I'm worried about...I mean,it's the lamb that gets eaten right?"

Keen frowned. "What?"

Brent stepped closer so he could whisper. "I saying that..well..Rachael's a pretty weird kid and most of her classmates aren't. I'm sure they just need to warm up too her though."

The blood rushed out of Keen's face. "What's going on?"

Brent shrugged and offered a smile. "It's nothing I guess."

Keen felt more worry build inside her with his lame answer. She looked past him at Rachael,who was sitting at a table alone playing with marbles. Rachael had a tiny focused frown that made Keen smile because Rachael still looked so cute.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Brent asked,breaking Keen off her thoughts.

Keen blinked. She wasn't so shocked that he asked,but the timing. _Jeez_. Her child was 5 feet away. Keen's smile dropped-hoping Brent would get the message-but Brent had an exciting,anticipating look in his eyes; like a child on Christmas eve.

"Brent I don't think-"

"It-It's not a date. The school has supply trucks coming in tomorrow morning. Just boxes of books,crayons,worksheets,etc. We could unload them...you know...together. As friends."

"We're not friends." Keen stated slowly in a matter-of-fact way that oddly reminded her of Red.

Brent flushed a burning red and stepped back. "Sorry." he seemed to recover some of his composure. "It's just really tough unloading all those boxes myself." he smiled shyly. "I'd love for you to be there."

Rachael slowly and cautiously walked over to Keen and held her hand. Keen didn't think it was possible to love Rachael more than she did in that moment. Keen gave her best fake apologetic look to Brent. "Daughter calls." Keen joked.

Brent slightly smiled as he went back to his desk. His obviously disappointment riddle through his face. Keen almost felt bad for him. He was definitely the type of guy that would go home and cry because of rejection. _It's just moving boxes._

"What time?"

A wild happiness spread through Brent's face like a virus. Keen could literally _see_ him fighting to contain it. "5:30 am." he replied.

Keen inwardly cursed but gave a tight lipped smile on the outside.

xxx

"So how was school?" Keen asked Rachael as they walked through the parking lot.

"Fine."

"Was it fun?" Keen asked and Rachael shrugged. "Anything interesting happen?"

"No."

Keen frowned but manged to smile when Rachael glanced at her. "I'm sure you made lots of friend with all that charm." Keen joked,trying to make her daughter laugh. It seemed to take opposite effect though; Rachael's shoulders slumped and she sped up her pace. Keen stopped walking and watched Rachael continue to the car.

Keen sighed. "What is it Rachael?"

"Nothing." Rachael mumbled with her back still towards Keen as she stood at the car.

Keen never remembered feeling so helpless. Not even in her fake marriage. "I can't help you if you block me out."

Rachael turned around with her tiny fist clenched and shaking. "You said this would be fun!"

"Rach-"

"It's not! You always tell me it's okay but it's not!" tears formed in Rachael's eyes but she fearlessly continued. "I'm a freak and all the kids see it! What's wrong with me?!"

"Nothing. Sweetie,nothing."

"You're lying! I know it! Stop lying to me! Everyone hates me! Why would you adopt me?!" Rachael yelled as she ran to Keen and punched her repeatedly in the stomach-the highest place she could reach on Keen. Keen barley felt it though. She knelt down and grabbed Rachael's arms,trying to hug her. Rachael crumbled into Keen's embrace and sunk to the floor till they were both sitting on the ground holding each other.

Rachael sobbed into Keen shoulder. "Why would you adopt me?"

"Because I love you." Keen breathed as she held the little girl even tighter.

"I love you too mom." Rachael murmured. Keen felt relief wash over her. Rachael wasn't upset with _her_. Something must have happened in class.

 _It's the lamb that gets eaten right?_ Brent's word stuck with Keen. Time passed. How much time? Keen wasn't sure,but they eventually got into the car and drove back too the apartment. Keen felt silly for buying a cake and preparing too celebrate something that Rachael obviously wouldn't be into. Keen figured most first days where bad. Well,that's what she had too tell herself. _It would get better. It would._

xxx

Keen decided to celebrate anyway. Not with decorations on the walls and a candle lit cake,but with cartoons and popcorn. It was also an excuse to wear her pajama's instead of dressing up and Rachael was happy with it. Keen laid on the couch with Rachael curled against her eating popcorn as a knock came at the door.

"This better is worth while." Keen muttered as Rachael jumped off the couch and yelled 'I got it!'.

"Rachael,don't open the-" _Too late_. Keen couldn't see the person from the angle she was at but she got an idea when Rachael hugged their leg.

"I'm glad too see you too." the familiar deep voice said,making Rachael giggle. "Where's your mom?"

"Come on." Rachael replied as she pulled him into the living room. "Mommy! Look who's here."

Keen feigned surprise then asked Rachael to lock the front door. Rachael nodded and scurried off.

Keen rested her hands on her hips. "I guess you changed your mind,huh?"

Ressler shrugged. "I could work late any day but you only celebrate first days once."

"Yeah,about that...don't mention it."

"What? I thought-"

"I'll tell you later just don't say anything about school."

Ressler nodded understandably and gave her the bottle he had been holding. "It's grape cider. I figured wine wouldn't be Rachael friendly."

Keen chortled. "Thanks. You could stay for dinner if you want." the question felt long over due,but it still made Keen feel nervous nonetheless.

"We're having gumbo!" Rachael chimed in as she came back into the living room.

"Rachael fell in love with it ever since Red made it for her once." Keen added.

Ressler scoffed. " _Red,_ doesn't know what he's doing. I'll show you guys what a real gumbo taste like." He pushed up his sleeves and watched into the kitchen.

Keen and Rachael exchanged glances as the confident Ressler navigated through their kitchen. It all seemed so normal to Keen-like he belonged here.

Rachael was sitting on the a stool,resting her elbows on the counter while her hands cupped under her chin. Her face seemed stuck on the verge of a laugh; the part where the cheeks push up the eyes and made them crinkle at the corners. It was a genuine delighted smile that Keen would save in her memories forever.

xxx

Everyone ate slowly to prolong the night from ending. Small talk and laughs where shared at the table. Keen almost forgot that Rachael was ever upset,but after dinner when she and Ressler washed the dishes and Rachael sat in the living room watching cartoons,she brought up the earlier events.

"She blew up today." Keen said just above a whisper as she put a plate in the cabinet.

Ressler arched an eyebrow. "About school?"

"I don't know. I think she's just upset with how everything's been."

"You're doing your best Keen."

Keen sighed. "Maybe that's not good enough. Her whole life has been a series of one disaster after another." Keen leaned with her back against the counter and starred into the living room. "Maybe I can't do this."

"Stop it."

"I'm serious Ressler."

Ressler stepped in front of Keen and blocked her view of Rachael. "Stop it."

"I can't."

"If you keep stressing yourself out you'll find yourself in a yoga class with Aram."

Keen smiled. "What?"

"I know. I'm in deep shit,but every Tuesday he drags me to a yoga class."

Keen chortled then covered her mouth from laughing too hard. "Aram and Ressler are yoga partners? Yes,this news just made my day."

Ressler rolled his eyes. "I only told you to make you feel better."

"It worked." Keen said smiling. The low music in the back ground slowly got louder and louder. Keen and Ressler glanced at the radio and seen Rachael turning up Billy Joel's 'she's got a way'.

Rachael giggled as she waved her arms-her attempt of dancing. "Dance!"

Ressler chortled and shook his head.. "I don't think so."

Keen playfully pushed his arm. "Oh come on,you can't say no to that face."

On cue,Rachael fake pouted which seemed to have no affect on Ressler.

Keen sighed. "Give up Rach,this Grinch ain't gonna dance."

Rachael turned the music up louder and glared at the adults. She reminded Keen a lot like herself right now: determined. Keen rested her hands on Ressler's shoulders.

"This is ridiculous." Ressler muttered as he tentatively placed his hands on Keen's waist. They lightly swayed back and fourth to the music. "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Am I that bad?"

"That's not what I meant."

Keen rolled her eyes. "It wouldn't kill you to have fun..or act like I'm not a flesh eating disease."

"I don't do that." Ressler frowned. "Dip." he dipped Keen-a half hearted effort-but one that made Keen smile nonetheless.

Keen bite her lip to stop from smiling. She was suppose to be mad at him right now. "Yes,all the time."

"Well I'm sorry I make you feel that way."

"I doubt that." Keen said dryly.

"Can we stop dancing?"

"I don't know. Rach,can we stop now?" They looked over and noticed Rachael wasn't by the radio anymore. She wasn't even in the kitchen or the living room. They let their hands fall off of each other.

Ressler frowned. "I feel like we've been set up."

Keen chortled. "Four year old match maker?"

Ressler turned the blasting music off and glanced at his watch. His gave a small disappointed sigh that didn't go unnoticed by Keen. "It's getting late."

"You can stay." Keen offered.

Ressler shrugged. "The drive isn't that long. I wouldn't want to bother you."

"It's fine. You can stay in my room."

Ressler hesitated. "Alright."

xxx

"Are you sure you're okay on the floor?" Keen asked as she leaned over her bed side to look at Ressler.

"I'm sure."

"You don't even have a blanket."

"I'm not taking your blanket Keen."

"I have two."

"It's just one night; 'll live."

Keen sighed as she laid on her back and starred up at the ceiling. "Are you sure?"

Ressler didn't answer. A moment later a pillow hit Keen in the face. "Hey!" Keen screeched somewhere between laughter and irritation. "This is not funny." Keen said mid-chortle as she threw the pillow back at Ressler who wore a guilty smile. They had a small pillow fight before Keen settled back into her bed.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Keen replied feeling like a teenager at a slumber party.

Hours had past through the night and Keen couldn't-wouldn't-let herself fall asleep. She had that Ressler guy on her mind. Unspoken words always seemed to hang over them like a knife and it was especially amplified tonight. "I'm glad you're here." Keen whispered tiredly through the thick air. She figured Ressler was sleep by now and her words where just another thing to get overlooked. "Did you mean it?" Keen took a breathe. Even in the dead of the night when Ressler was sure to be asleep she was still so nervous. "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" Keen froze as she heard Ressler move. He sat up and kissed her cheek.

"I did." Ressler replied as his lips lightly grazed her cheek. Keen flushed bright pink and thanked god she was facing away from him.

xxx

The morning was a train wreck. From the moment the alarm went of at 5am Keen was scrambling back and fourth to her bathroom and Rachael's bedroom,trying to get her daughter dressed for school. It also didn't help that Ressler kept bumping into Keen because he wasn't familiar with the apartment.

"I'll help Rachael get ready." Ressler offered upon seeing Keen so frantic.

"Thank you."

"Mom!" Rachael yelled from her bedroom.

Keen sighed. "She's all yours."

Ressler walked into Rachael's room. "What's wrong?"

"I can't reach the back of my hair." Rachael whined,holding out a hair brush. Out of all the things Special agent Ressler could do,brushing a little girl's hair wasn't one of them.

" _Shit_." Ressler mumbled as her approached her. He awkwardly took the hair brush and ran it through her hair. It didn't take the messy look from it so he tied it in s pony tail that was way too tight.

"It's too tight!"

"Sorry." Ressler apologized as he tried to untie it but ended up pulling it tighter.

"Ow!"

"Damn it-Sorry." Ressler cut the hair band off with his knife and her hair fell loosely around her shoulders.

"Mom won't let me go to school with messy hair." Rachael stated evenly. It was one of those things that she didn't mind but Keen obviously did.

Ressler frowned. "Okay,how about one long braid?"

Rachael nodded. It sounded like a pretty style but Ressler didn't know anything about braid so it came out like a tangled mess. Rachael shrugged.

Keen buttered toast then poured orange juice into a glass as Rachael and Ressler walked into the kitchen. Keen glanced up at seen Rachael's hair. "What the fu-" Keen's mouth dropped opened and she waved her hand dismissively. "Never mind. Everyone ready?"

"I am!" Rachael announced as she skipped out the door.

Keen smirked. "At least she's happy."

"For how long? I thought school was what started this."

"Her second day is bound to be better than her first."

"I hope so."

A few second past before Keen spoke again. "Are we trying this?"

Ressler fixed absentmindedly fixed his tie. "You mean...us?"

Before Keen could answer her phone rang.

"Classic." Ressler muttered.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Hey Liz." _It was Brent._ "Just wondering if you're still coming to help with the boxes?"

"Yeah I-"

"Are you almost there? People really miss you around here."

Keen knew the only 'people' was him. "Yeah,I'll be there soon Brent."

Ressler raised his eyebrows at the unfamiliar name.

"Okay,can't wait too see you Liz." He said her name like he known her for years.

"Yeah,bye." Keen replied quickly and hung up the phone.

"Should I be worried?" Ressler asked half jokingly.

Keen sighed. "It's Rachael's school teacher...He has a silly little crush on me."

"Well it better stay little."

Keen lightly chortled. She couldn't tell if Ressler was joking or not. "Guess I should drop Rachael off now then go to work."

"I could drop her off. I don't want you to be late because of me."

"It's fine,I'm late all the time. Unlike you boy scout" Keen teased.

Ressler half smiled. "How about we both drop her off and then go to work. So we'll both be late?"

Keen shifted uncomfortably. "It would be weird to show up late together."

"Why would-" Ressler paused and realized what she meant. He could already feel Reddington's snide remarks and see Aram and Samar exchanging knowing glances. "Yeah,you drop her off. See you at work."

Keen smiled at his annoyed yet slightly flushed face. "See at work."

xxx

Keen smiled across at her daughter in the passenger seat who shyly smiled back. Her messy hair and crumbs on her face from eating toast made the day feel that much more real. Everything was falling into place-a jagged place-but a place nonetheless. They were falling perfectly on top of each other like cards carefully making a beautiful masterpiece. Little did Keen know that in less than 5 hours all those cards would fall down.

 **To be continued...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thanks for all the support/opinions. All of you are the best!**

 **Anyways ◔_◔ The marrrvelous reviewers: TheBlacklister23,Jen,Ohhval,Kayla,Guest,SarahBeth1,Guest,Sugar1621,Guest,Guest,Oddkatout,Guest,Song of The Fallen Dove**

 **Jen** and **Blacklister23** ,So glad this is your favorite story! I'll try my best to make it stay your favorite *virtual high five*

 **SarahBeth1** ,Yay,Ressler braiding hair. That's recently became a dream of mine,haha. I'm a creeper. Glad I'm not the only one xD

 **Guest** and **Kayla** ,BREATHE...I've updated :)

 **Song of Fallen Dove** ,Rachael's shyness can vary depending on the opinion Lol. I must say this,you stated: 'Rachael's allergic to peanuts but puts them on her frozen yogurt'. In chapter three it clearly says she puts _almonds_ on her yogurt. If you are just allergic to peanuts/peanut butter (which Rachael is) you can eat almonds,tree nut,walnuts,etc. I googled it. So your words are false,but that's okay! You're still amazing. Thank you for taking your time to read this and saying that chapter 12 was perfect! Btw you're the 100th commenter. Celebrate with cake and stuff :D xoxo

This is a very long chapter and for all my queasy stomach readers,I have to put a warning on this one.

 **WARNING:** **Bullying and child abuse. ◉︵◉ If you are easily disturbed (or just disturbed) by that kind of thing please DO NOT read this chapter. You have been warned lovelies.**

 **Chapter thirteen: "Oh,but my darling,what if you fly?"**

 **Rachael's Pov [Hour 3]**

 _I imagined someone coming for me. I knew no one ever would,so I imagined._

I tried,but I gave up when I hurt him.

Everyone has a breaking point.

I never wanted to come back here. I told mom what they thought of me,but she wouldn't listen.

Blood trickled down my arms.

I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged my knees to my chest. Their high pitched voices continued yelling disturbing words that me. Some I didn't even understand.

I was scared but I was safe. Safe under the table. They wouldn't follow me under. It was too weird for them; like me.

My face still hurt. My arms still bleed.

I heard the classroom door open. It was probably the teacher returning so I didn't bother to open my eyes.

"Hey,get away from her!" a voice yelled. A quietness swept over the room. I could hear the kids backing away from the table I was hiding under. Someone was reaching for me. Their hand grazed my arm,but they where too big to fit under the table. _An adult._

"Rach,don't be afraid." I closed my eyes even tighter. _I am afraid!_ I wanted to shout back.

No one was coming for me. I'm imaging this. No one would ever come for me. "Grab my hand. It's okay,come on Rach."

Then the voice stopped.

I guessed my mind was done fabricating someone who actually cared for me. Adult voices talked angrily in the background. They got louder and louder until I heard the sound of someone hitting the floor. A big gasp echoed throughout the room from everyone. I clutched my gold heart necklace. 'Your brave.' I whispered to myself as I forced my eyes to slowly open.

I seen a man laying face down on the floor. He warily pushed himself up with his elbows and turned his head towards me as blood ran out of his nose and mouth. He groaned then weakly collapsed back onto the floor.

I screamed.

Footsteps rushed to me and I was in the air. Someone was lifting me up,but I was too dazed to tell who it was. My arms loosely hugged around their neck.

 _I wasn't imagining it. Someone did come for me._

 **[Earlier]-Hour 1**

Keen walked through the school doors with Rachael on her shoulders. "What does a cow put on his french toast?"

Rachael giggled with anticipation. "I dunno."

"Moooolasses." Keen replied as she spun around.

The little girl broke into fits of laughter as Susan stepped out of her office and her eyes shot daggers at the two. "Good morning." Susan stated firmly.

"Morning." Keen said feeling a little embarrassed as she set Rachael on her feet.

"I need to speak with you now Miss Keen." Susan gave a tight lipped smile then turned into her office before Keen could even answer.

Keen sighed. "Stay here sweetie,I'll be back in a second." Keen tapped twice on Susan's door then entered. "You wanted me?"

"Yes." Susan gave an exgaggerated sigh. "Finally." It had only been less than a minute since they had spoken in the hallway,but Keen decided not to bring that up. "I could hardly control my excitement."

"You _seem_ excited." Keen said sarcastically.

Susan frowned,showing off all her wrinkles,then forced a smile. "Here,this is a normal worksheet for a pre-schooler and this is Rachael's."

Keen took the papers and lazily looked at it. "What does this mean?"

Susan sighed again as she fixed her glasses. "Rachael hasn't missed a beat in preschool. She's a solid first grader at least. We have another school,but it's pretty far from here,that teaches first grade to twelfth grade classes. Now that's the school you might want to think about getting her in. She doesn't belong with these pre-schoolers. It's a lot to think about,I know,but think about it." Susan shook her head and lightly chuckled. "Who know? Rachael of all the kids. Guess her light bulb wasn't so dull."

Keen stopped her mouth from tugging down. She didn't appreciate Susan's last comment. Why was it so impossible to believe that Rachael could skip a class anyway? She had just _expected_ Rachael to be slow. Keen stared blankly at Susan. Truth be told,she wanted to choke her.

"Miss Keen?"

"Hm?" Keen replied as she got snapped out of her cruel thoughts.

"I said-"

"Yeah,I'll think about it. Thanks." Keen stood up and quickly walked into the hallway. She ran her hands over her face and sighed. This was good news. It was. So why did it feel like a brick just fell on her back?

"Ready?" Keen asked with a smile. She didn't want Rachael inquiring about the conversation she had with Susan.

Rachael nodded. "Yep."

Keen placed her hands on her hips. "I don't think so. Come here." She knelt down and untied the 'braid' in Rachael's disheveled hair.

"I kinda liked it.." Rachael complained. Keen scoffed and brushed a knot out of the little girl's hair with her fingers.

"Jeez,your father was no idea what he was doing." Keen muttered.

Rachael smiled softly as Keen made a nice braid that fell over Rachael's shoulder. She glanced up and noticed the smiling Rachael. "What?"

"You called Dee Dee my dad."

Keen furrowed her eyebrows. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did."

Keen rolled her eyes. "You need your ears checked. Come on,get to class."

Rachael shrugged as she actually believed she did mishear it. Her sneakers squeaked against the vinyl school flooring as she walked down the hall. She glanced back at Keen,who gave her a reassuring smile then continued walking. The weight of her backpack was nothing compared to the weight of coming back to school. She would have to face those demons again. _Would I have to do this everyday?_ Rachael thought.

A moment after Rachael got into her class,Brent came jogging down the hall and waving his arms as if Keen couldn't already see him. "Hey!"

 _Here we go again._ "Shouldn't you be teaching class?"

"I should." Brent agreed. "But I'll always find time for you." He nervously ran his hand through his hair. Judging by Keen's face,it had came out a little more flirty than he intended.

Keen cleared her throat. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you move the boxes." she said changing the subject.

Brent seemed somewhat thankful. "It's okay. I'm sure you were busy with Rachael."

Keen gave a small nod and glanced behind her. "Well,I'll see you later."

"Unless you want to stay." a crazy glint of hope flickered in Brent's eyes.

Keen frowned and snuffed it out. "I'm pretty sure that's against school policy."

Brent flushed and awkwardly swayed back and fourth. "Probably..Bye Liz...or is it Beth? Elizabeth's can be tricky."

"It's Liz. Or Keen. You can definitely call me Keen." _Last names will be better for us_.

"Liz is good. That way I can pretend I have known you for a while." Brent joked.

Keen lightly chortled and glanced down. _Am I blushing?_ When she looked back up he was smiling as if she had just said yes to marrying him. "Remember,if you need anything just call me. I put my number in your phone when you were talking to Susan."

Keen's smile dropped as she felt the blood rush out of her face. _Holy shit._ She numbly nodded and turned to walk out the door.

xxx

 **[The blacksite]**

"Okay,here's what we know: He ran away from home at 14,had minor drug and assault charges,then he fell off the map until his early thirties. We don't think he has any friends and he's too unstable to keep a job. The family he does have seems very isolated off from the rest world." Ressler stated to his colleagues.

"Maybe the Sculptor's controlling them." Samar chimed in. "I don't think he could come from a whole family of crazies."

"Nothing's impossible. Aram,find out where his family is located."

"On it."

In the corner of the room Keen stood there jingling her car keys against her thigh. She wasn't paying much attention to any of her colleagues. Her mind was stuck on the conversation she had with Susan. She kept thinking about actually visiting that other school. If Rachael was supposed to be in first grade she minus well check it out.

"Something on your mind?" Red asked.

"No." she lied.

"I don't believe you." Red simply stated. "Is it Rachael? I heard her first day didn't go too well." Keen silently stared ahead so Red continued. "I also heard you and Donald had a little sleep over yesterday. How was that anyway? Next time you'll have to tell me ahead of time so I can prepare my sleeping bag."

"I never even told you." Keen grumbled in response. "Shouldn't you be helping us find the Sculptor? He _is_ a blacklister."

"The Sculptor,smalter." Red mocked. "He is nothing to worry about. I'm sure even Ressler can find him. Besides,you're about to leave."

"So you can read minds now too?" Keen said dryly.

"No. You've been holding your keys for the last 20 minutes." Keen glanced at her keys in her hand. "Where are you going Lizzie?" Keen frowned and walked past him to the elevator. She wasn't about to tell Red she was possibly thinking about moving far out just because Rachael was beyond her grade level. When Keen was close to her car she heard footsteps following after her.

"Hey," Ressler said. "I seen you head out. It's not like you to just leave in the middle of a case like that."

She turned around and fished for a lie. "I feel a little sick."

Ressler frowned. "Is it serious? I could drive you home."

"No no. I'm good. I mean,I'm not good. I'm just okay. A little under the weather. But not too much. I'll be fine." Keen stammered as she studied his face,wondering if he bought it. Ressler raised his eyebrows.

"You might be a bit more ill than you think" he said slowly.

Keen stopped herself from rolling her eyes. "I'll be fine. Now get back to work."

Ressler sighed. Obviously worried about her,then started back towards the blacksite. He turned around. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm okay." Keen called back. He seemed to accept this and continued walking. Keen felt guilty for making him worry about her for nothing. But how was she suppose to tell him something that she was unsure of herself? When Ressler was out of sight Keen got into her car and drove the opposite direction of her apartment.

xxx

 **[Hour 2]**

Keen cursed as she parked her car. It was an hour drive there. _Susan wasn't kidding when she said it was far out._ Keen was positive there were schools that taught first grade that where close to her apartment-she just didn't know any. Although,there was one person that would know...

"Liz?" he started breathing heavy. "I never thought you'd actually call me."

"Brent calm down. I wanted to ask you something."

"Yeah yeah,anything."

Keen hesitated. Maybe she should hang up now. No,she needed this information. "Do you know any schools close to my apartment that teach at least first grade?"

"Of course." kids voice are heard in the background. "I'm pretty busy right now though,but you can come over to my apartment and I'll tell you everything."

"Brent just tell me now."

" _Really_ busy Liz." He was exaggerating. Keen knew it. He just wanted her at the his house. _Asshole._

"Alright. Hey,how's Rachael?"

"Uh-you know...good. Bye Liz."

"Bye." she hung up the phone and felt like this whole drive was a waste. She should have just called him in the first place. Well,she was here now. Keen got out of her car and walked up the school steps.

xxx

Rachael sat in class coloring a picture. She had finished her math sums and English work already,so the teacher let her color. She took another crayon from her box and started coloring. A little boy who was sitting next her took the crayon from her hand and broke it against the table. Rachael pretended not to notice. It was the third one he broke today after all. He tugged at her picture. She let him take it and he crunched it up and threw it in her face. Other students quietly giggled. They didn't want the teacher (Brent) to hear. Rachael didn't even flinch for she wasn't bothered by them. She was getting used to this. She sat back into her seat and took out another piece of paper then began coloring again. The other kids frowned,knowing they'd have to do something more to be able to faze this weird kid.

At lunch time,a blonde girl sat next to Rachael. Rachael smiled thinking she could probably make her first friend. The teacher's phone rang. He stared at the caller ID with a goofy smile. Rachael wondered if her mom was calling. He always acted strangely around her mom. "Liz? I never thought you'd actually call me." he said as his voice faded in the background when he walked out the door.

"I'm Rachael." she told the blonde girl as she put her hand out to shake. It was a gesture Keen taught her.

"Whatever." the other girl replied 'accidently' poured her juice box on Rachael's dress,hoping to get a reaction. "Oops." she giggled. The rest of the students stared on in anticipation. They looked at Rachael like an animal in a zoo-just waiting for it to do something crazy. Rachael slowly wiped her dress with a napkin as the teacher came back.

"Woah,what happen?"

"Rachael spilled juice on herself." a kid lied.

Brent was having none of it. " _Rachael_ ,what happened?"

"They did it." Rachael stated quietly,gesturing to the blonde girl and the boy who broke her crayons earlier.

"That's it. I'm calling you guys parents. You two are always causing trouble." Brent told them as he walked out of the classroom again with his phone in hand.

The kids waited till he was out of view. "Thanks a lot. Now we're in trouble freak."

Rachael touched her necklace. "Just leave me alone."

"Don't tell me what to do." the other girl replied.

A little boy grabbed Rachael's necklace and ripped it off her neck. "Keep it away from her!" he yelled as he tossed it to another kid,who tossed it to another kid,who tried to pull it apart.

"Give it back." Rachael said.

"Come and get it."

"Can you please give me my necklace." Rachael asked the kid who caught her necklace. Keen always told her to be nice so maybe saying 'please' would work. The kid stuck her tongue out and throw the necklace down and stomped it. "No! Give it back! It's important to me!" Rachael squealed.

"How can anything be important to you? You're adopted." Rachael ignored that comment and went to pick up her necklace but got pushed the floor. "You're real parents didn't even want you. I bet you're an alien or something."

"Freak!" the blonde girl yelled at Rachael as she poked her in the arm with a sharpened pencil. The rest of the kids chimed in and started stabbing Rachael in the arms with pencils also. "Alien!" they chanted.

"I just want my necklace." Rachael cried.

"Hold her still." a kid said as two other kids held Rachael down and another got a marker and wrote 'loser' and 'alien' on her forehead. Giggles spread through the class as Rachael tried to wiggle herself free from them,but the boy who broke her crayons earlier dug his finger into one of her pencil wounds to make her stop.

"I hear the teacher coming back." the blonde girl said as all the kids abandoned the scene and sat in their seats.

The little boy stayed by Rachael. "Get up freak,the teacher's coming back. You're gonna get us all in even more trouble if they see you down here. Go to your seat."

Rachael continued to lay curled up on the floor whimpering,so he picked up her necklace and threw it against the wall. Rachael's eyes widen in fear as she heard a cracking sound. The necklace had broke. Rage surged through Rachael as she stood up. With all her slight strength,she pushed the little boy into the teacher's desk. He had just started to cry when Rachael grabbed the stapler on the desk and stapled his shoulder. He crumbled to the floor crying. Just then the school door opened and Brent and a pair of parents came in. They had only seen Rachael pushing and stapling the boy.

"Oh my gosh...w-what happened?" Brent asked as he looked at Rachael. Her bloody arms where scarred up with pencil holes,her face was scribbled with bad words,and her dress was stained in grape juice. A dad only seemed to notice his son's arm with a staple in it.

"You little mutt!" the dad said to Rachael. He shook her by the shoulders. "You think it's funny hurting other kids?"

"I don't think she started it. I mean,look at her." Brent reasoned,referring to her bloody arms and marked face. "She's scared man. Let it go." The dad ignored him.

"Apologize to my kid right fucking now." Rachael stepped back obviously frightened.

"Don't use that language around the children." Brent said.

Once again,the dad ignored him. "You good for nothin' little brat!" he backhanded Rachael across the face,causing her to fall down.

"I don't know what you're trying to prove?! She's a little kid,you bastard!" Brent yelled.

"You gonna do something about it punk?" the dad asked as he got in Brent's face. Brent frowned but he stayed neutral. "Thought so." the dad added and went to comfort his son. The other parents started whispering among each other and the kids stared wide-eyed at the whole situation. Rachael retrieved her necklace off the floor and crawled under a tiny table.

Susan swung the door open. "What is all the ruckus!" her pale face went even paler as she seen Rachael. "Oh my...I-I'll call Miss Keen. Brent,make sure to greet the parents before they enter the classroom. Don't just let anyone in here."

Brent nodded,feeling like he failed Keen as a random kid shouted 'not even adults like you!' to Rachael,that erupted laughter from among the kids.

xxx

 **[Hour 3]**

Keen yawned as she walked out of the school she was visiting. It was the most boring time pass she ever had. She got into her car and figured she should just go back to work. Maybe she would be able to concentrate better now. Her phone rang.

"Am I speaking with Keen?" the voice was unmistakably Susan's.

"Yes."

"Oh thank goodness. Dear,it's horrible. The kids aren't accepting her. I just couldn't stay in that room. They're yelling and throwing things-you know how it gets with kids. I just couldn't stand it. Brent was trying to calm them but they wouldn't listen. Then some parents came. It's your child. I don't know why they choose her but they hate her." she paused. "This is Miss Keen right?"

"Yes Susan." Keen said as evenly as possible "Where is Rachael?"

"In the classroom. Under a table I think."

Keen cursed and hung up the phone. She didn't think it was necessary to tell Susan that she was coming. Although,it would take a while for her to get there and it sounded like Rachael needed her now. _Who was close by the school?_ Samar,Aram,and Cooper were at work,and who the hell knows where Red is. Keen dialed Ressler's number.

"Agent Ressler."

"Ressler,I need you to pick up Rachael. She's at school and I think something's wrong."

"Keen,I'm heading to the Sculptor's family's house. We think they can tell us a lot about him."

"I know that's important but-"

"Important? This is our only lead Keen."

"I'd check on Rachael myself if I wasn't so far away."

"You said she's in school. Why would something be wrong?"

Keen raised her voice. "Will you just trust me?"

"You're asking me to throw away my task to check on a probably perfectly safe little girl."

"Yes." Keen heard her voice break. "I am."

Ressler sighed. "I'm sorry Keen. I can't do that."

"This is not the time to go by the books Ressler! I know you care about her. I know the thought of anything possibly happening to Rachael is worrying you." Keen blinked back tears. "So please stop following orders and get to her school!"

 _Click._

Keen waited for a response then glanced at her phone. He had hung up. " _Bastard_. Damn it!"Keen pounded her fist against the steering wheel. She stopped to let her heavy breathing settle as she stared blankly ahead. With the twist of the key she started her car up and sped towards Rachael's school.

xxx

Ressler turned his car around. There was no way he wasn't going to see Rachael after what Keen had told him. At first he thought it was just a motherly hunch Keen was having until she became emotional. He figured he should have told Keen that he was going to listen to her before he hung up,but it didn't matter now. Out of all the years he's been on the task force he had never broken more rules until Keen showed up. Actually,he never even broke _one_ rule until she showed up. Now here he was,going to get a little girl that wasn't even his,rather than interview the Sculptor's family.

Ressler skipped up the school steps three at a time. _Just check on Rach,then leave._ Inside the building,he was met by an older woman in flashy clothing.

"Oh thank goodness. I called all the parents but only two showed up." Susan said as she made an overly exaggerated sad face. Ressler was sure she didn't give a single damn about any of those kids.

"What classroom is Rachael Keen in?"

"Rachael?" Susan frowned,a glint of sorrow filled her eyes then faded just as quickly as it came. "Are you sure that's the kid you're looking for?"

"I'm sure."

"Well,if you say so." Susan fixed her glasses. "You know,I never knew Elizabeth had a husband. Especially not such a handsome one. She needs to share sometime." Susan winked,using all her seventy-year-old charm.

Ressler grimaced. He was trying to smile,but he grimaced. "I'm just a friend. Uh-the classroom?"

"Around the hall you'll meet Brent; ask him. Bye dear." she gave a slow seemingly seductive smile. And thirty years ago,it may have been.

Ressler nodded thanks and walked down the hall. He could feel Susan's eyes bore into him. Needless to say,he was glad when he got around the corner. _Or not_. A stocky guy with faded blonde hair was walking towards him.

"Why are you asking about Rachael?" Brent asked upon overhearing Ressler's conversation with Susan.

 _Who the hell.._ "Because I'm here to pick her up."

"You're not her parent. Rachael's adopted."

"I know that wise guy. Keen sent me."

Brent frowned and looked Ressler up and down in a disapproving manner. "Why would she send _you_?" he made it sound like Ressler was the scum of the earth with extra dirt.

"Where's the classroom?" Ressler asked obviously annoyed as he ignored Brent's comment.

"You're still not a parent. You can't go in the classroom."

"I told you: Keen sent me. Look,I'm with the FBI,just let me in." Ressler showed his badge.

Brent squinted at his badge and shrugged with disinterest. "Look's fake."

Ressler could almost feel his blood boiling in his vain's. _The nerve this guy had_. "I don't know what the hell your problem is,but I'm going to make sure Rachael's safe and don't think for a second that you're going to stop me."

Brent hesitated. As much he didn't like the fact that Keen had some mystery guy coming to pick up her daughter,he knew Rachael was in trouble right now. "Down the hall and take a right."

Ressler walked into the classroom-followed shortly by Brent-and seen a couple of parents talking while one dad stood alone with his son and the rest of the kids were shouting words like 'alien' and 'freak' at a table. _Fucking weird children._ Rachael was nowhere in sight. Ressler looked closer and seen Rachael hugging her knees to her chest from under the table. "Hey,get away from her!" a quietness swept over the room as the children dispersed. Ressler reached under the table. "Come on Rach,don't be afraid. Grab my hand. It's okay,Rach." Ressler looked at her and seen the bloody mess of his Rachael. It was from pencil stabbings so he guessed the other kids must have done it,but something else stood out. Under the bad words scribbled on her face in pink marker,a blue bruise was swelling on her cheek from what must have been a slap. _An adult slap_. Ressler stood up and turned around slowly. He was literally shaking from anger. "Did you hit her?" he asked Brent in a hushed even tone. Honestly though,Ressler didn't think Brent was the child abuser type. He was more a punk more than anything that probably worked on his hair for more than eight hours straight.

"I would never hurt them." Brent replied,offended to be accused of such of thing.

"I did it," the dad spoke up. "The little brat stapled my son's arm and didn't even apologi-"

He was cut off by Ressler punching him square in the jaw. The man stumbled back as he held his face in disbelief. He took a wild swing at Ressler. Ressler dodged the punch then grabbed him by his reciting hair and slammed his face into the wooden desk. The man half unconsciously fell to the floor. He groaned and tried to pick himself up by his elbows. He gave a glance under the table at Rachael-wishing he could rewind time and never hit her- then weakly collapsed to the floor.

Rachael screamed.

Ressler rushed to her side and lifted her up. Rachael loosely wrapped her arms around his neck. He could already feel her tears,snot,and blood soaking into his suit. He walked to the door where there stood an expectant looking Brent. "You can leave Rachael with me until Keen gets here." he said as he tried to pry Rachael from Ressler's arms.

"I got her."

"No it's okay. I'll take her from here. Keen would want-"

"You don't know shit about Keen." Ressler snapped and walked out the door,leaving Brent standing there flabbergasted and slightly scared. Just who the hell was Ressler?

xxx

 **[Hour 4]**

Ressler carried Rachael into the school bathroom and set her on the counter. He wet a paper towel and started wiping off the marker on her face.

"I didn't think you'd come." Rachael admitted quietly.

"For a minute,I didn't think so either."

"Why did you?"

Ressler finished wiping the marker off Rachael's face. "Your mom,I guess."

"Where is my mom?"

"On her way. But we gotta get you cleaned up or she'll have a heart attack."

Ressler changed her out of her juice-stained dress and put his jacket on her. It trailed on her like a wedding gown and the sleeves where so long you couldn't see her hands,but Rachael seemed pretty happy with it.

She clapped the sleeves together. "I'm the sleeve monster." she said in a deep voice.

"Woah,don't start tearing down buildings now." Ressler joked. Rachael seemed to seep into her own world as she held her necklace and stared sullenly at the crack across it.

"The boy broke it." she said quietly. Almost to herself. "It's ruined."

"I don't know,I think it's a little better now. It used to be perfect but now it's a little broken. It's more...relatable."

Rachael tilted her head at the necklace and slowly smiled. She flinched at the pain in her cheek. The swelling had lessened,but it stayed a blue-ish purple color. "It hurts." Rachael admitted as fresh tears glistened in her eyes. Ressler tensed. He had wanted to go full Keen to Karen on that guy,but that seemed a little much. "Thanks for standing up for me." Rachael added.

"I'll always protect you Rach."

Rachael smiled,ignoring the pain she felt. "And I'll protect you too."

Ressler chortled. "I know." he lifted her off the counter and set her on her feet. He frowned as he figured she'd have to go to the hospital for her pencil wounds.

They walked out of the bathroom and seen Keen jogging down the hall. Sweat matted loose strands of hair to her face and she brushed them back into her ponytail. Her face was stricken with worry and confusion. Ressler knew she would want to know the whole story,but he'd tell her about Rachael's arms later. Keen slowed up as she got closer to them,taking almost caution steps,and settled her heavy breathing before she knelt on the floor to hug Rachael.

"Oh sweetie.." Keen mumbled more to herself.

"I don't want to come back here mom."

"You won't. I promise." Keen replied as she held Rachael as tight as possible. She pulled back and noticed Rachael's blue face. Keen struggled to find a smile. She wanted to ask what happened but now wasn't the time. Whatever storm had come by,it was calming now. She stood up and watched Rachael wondered a few steps away from them,playing with the buttons on her jacket. Keen's attention slowly turned to Ressler."Thank you."

Ressler slightly nodded. He didn't feel like he deserved a thanks. "Rach needs to go to the hospital.

Keen glanced over at Rachael and let out a defeated sigh. "How bad is it?" she was sure there was something else besides the bruise on Rachael's cheek.

"You'll find out soon."

"Ress-"

"It's not something you want to rush to hear...or see."

Keen gave a stiff nod. Those kinds of answers were never good. She blinked quickly to ensure tears wouldn't fall then glanced back at Ressler who was staring at her rather oddly. _Intensely_. Keen stepped back,bumping into the lockers and silently scolded herself in embarrassment. She was blushing right after she found out that her daughter was getting bullied. Did that make you a bad parent? Keen wondered. She imagined her cheeks were a pale red,but if Ressler had noticed,he pretended he didn't. He kept that look in his eyes. _That reckless look._

He closed the small space between them and cupped her face in his hands,feeling the warm flush of her cheeks burning into his palms. "Keen." he breathed as he scanned her face for permission. She gave a small but urgent nod in response and he gently pressed his lips against hers,cherishing the warmth of her glossed mouth. It was a sweet and rather slow kiss that could have been stolen from a fairy tale. They both slightly pulled away,green eyes meeting blues ones,then met each other's lips again for a more passionate,longing kind of kiss that held a steady tenderness. Gently nipping at his bottom lip,Keen wrapped her arms around his torso,pulling him closer as his hand found the small of her back.

"Ahem." Someone cleared their throat at the pair. Keen and Ressler hesitated,taking time to memorize this feeling,then slowly and reluctantly broke apart,before turning to look at Brent,who was sporting the biggest scowl of his life. His cheeks were also a little flushed from interrupting them. "The school is closing soon due to the class being cut short. I expect everyone to be gone soon," he said with hostility. "Unless you have a kid." he added to Keen.

 _Doesn't every parent have a kid?_ Keen wanted to state but refrained herself. She supposed when he said he wanted 'everyone' to be gone,he just meant 'Ressler'. "Thanks Brent. We where just leaving."

"Okay..see you tonight Liz." he ran his hand through his hair,starred at Keen longer than necessary,then went back into his classroom.

Ressler arched an eyebrow at Keen and she rolled her eyes. "We're meeting up so he can tell me what schools are close by my apartment."

Ressler took out his phone. "I'll google it and save you some time."

"Ressler!" Keen laughed, "I'm not canceling on him."

Ressler smirked,half knowing his attempt would be a failed one. His phone beeped and he glanced at it. "Cooper text. He wants me to meet come to the black site; says it's urgent."

Keen nodded. "I'll take Rachael to the hospital." dread washed over her again. She never did find out what happened to her daughter.

Ressler gave his half smile and lightly squeezed her hand. "Rach's a tough kid. She'll be alright. I'll come see you guys after I see what Cooper wants."

Keen watched Ressler leave before turning to Rachael,who was grinning her semi-toothless smile from ear to ear. It looked like she was in pain,but she still smiled. "Oh shut up." Keen mumbled as she took Rachael's hand in hers. "We have a hospital to get too." They walked past Susan who literally purred and winked at Keen just before she made it out the door. It was more unnerving than..sexy? It that what Susan was going for?

xxx

Cooper paced in his office with long thoughtful strides. He straighten some papers on his desk then took a seat facing Ressler. "Reddington told us Rachael had a panic attack and she was sent to the hospital. He said you went to see her. As your friend,I'm of proud of you for caring so much. Rachael is like family to all of us. But as your boss,I'm disappointed. We had a lead. And a damn good one too. I sent agents to survey around the Sculptor's family's house. They wanted to go in and talk to them,but I told them to wait because I knew my best agent would show up. I knew you'd show up. When it was clear you weren't,I sent them in. The Sculptor's family must have gotten suspicious with my agents being in the area." Cooper frowned. "because they were all found with their wrist slit. All had committed suicide. They'd rather die then spill any information about the Sculptor. You didn't show up and now we're back to square one. This won't be the last time Rachael will need you during an investigation. So you have to ask yourself this agent Ressler: is one little girl worth it?" Cooper sighed. "You're free to go."

Ressler nodded firmly and walked out of the office. Cooper was right. He couldn't do this. His job came first. _Guess the day only gets worse_ ,Ressler thought as he met Reddington in the elevator. He never liked to engage in conversation with this criminal,but something Cooper told him was bothering him. "Why did you tell Cooper Rachael had a panic attack?"

Red stared ahead as if Ressler didn't exist then he turned to look at him,tilting his head slightly. "Because I don't think Lizzie would want everyone to know the princess was getting bullied." Red paused. "And I don't think Cooper would appreciate you alienating your duties just because Lizzie called you with a bad hunch." Ressler swallowed hard as the elevator dinged open. "This is one a the few things you have done that makes you less repelling." Red added.

"Don't get used too it." Ressler grumbled and walked out of the elevator.

"You're going to do something stupid. I can just see it radiating off of you." Red stated in that matter-of-fact tone he seemed to have perfected. Ressler frowned as Red continued. "Whatever you tell her. However you break it off; don't hurt her. Lizzie has been through enough." Red fixed his fedora and walked out of the elevator also.

 **[Hour 5]**

Keen was waiting outside a hospital room when she glanced up and met eyes with Ressler. Worried riddled through her face. She hugged him and pecked him on the mouth like a married couple would do. She had already settled in and accepted this.

 _Accepted them._

Ressler hadn't.

They doctor walked out. "Keen?" Keen nodded. "Rachael lost quite some blood for someone her size but don't worry,it's nothing a good meal and a night's rest can't fix," the doctor grinned. "You can see her now,but she's a little dizzy from the medication we gave her."

Aram and Samar had stopped by briefly as well as Red and Dembe. But soon it was only Keen and Ressler who sat at Rachael's bedside,watching her steady breathing as she slept. Ressler chewed on his lip as he wondered if now was the right time to tell Keen. _Good time as any._

"We can't work." He blurted out. His words split through the silent room like a bullet and somehow it found Keen's heart. It sounded a lot harsher out loud than it had in his mind. Keen continued to stare at Rachael,but the way her eyebrows furrowed,he knew she was intently listening. "What happened today was careless," he was referring to the kiss. "We just can't work. We're better as partners."

Keen still hadn't flinched. Then slowly,she nodded once. If he hadn't been studying her, he would have missed it. She was too tired to fight. Her daughter was in the hospital and he said their relationship _can't_ work. Keen dared to think this day could get any worse. All the cards fell down and turned into dust that covered the floor. It looked like Keen would have to sweep it up herself this time. "Why?" she whispered. Even though Rachael was sure to be sleeping,Keen didn't want to take any chances.

Ressler shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I'm obsessive. My job comes first. Always has. It's destroyed my relationships before and I don't see how it would be any different this time. We'll crash and burn Keen."

"But what if we don't? I mean,your job didn't come first today."

Ressler glanced away from her and looked at Rachael. Bandages clung to her arms like another skin. "You're tired. Get some sleep. If she wakes up I'll tell you."

Keen nodded and rested her head on his shoulder,giving slightest resemble of a sarcastic smile. "Partners can do this right?"

"I'll let it slip this time." Ressler joked.

Keen suppressed a genuine smile. Maybe he was right. Maybe they would crash. Maybe they would burn. But nothing seemed worse than not trying at all. After all,no other colleague would stay and watch Rachael with her. Not even Red would. Or maybe he was watching,Keen thought bitterly and fought the urge to glance out the hospital window.

Keen almost gave up on the idea that things would get better. Although right now,she would pretend they would. She closed her eyes,taking in Ressler's scent,and drifted off into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey from Gracie :) Reviewers:**

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 **Kayla** , Can't believe I'm admitting this, but I honestly cried when I read your comment. I write because of people like you.

 **Anyways! Sorry for the long wait between post, I'll do better next time :3 The last chapter was pretty emotional so I thought I'd throw in a chapter that's fluffy (kind of).**

 **Chapter Fourteen: "Us Against The World"**

The sun peaked through the hospital curtains and shined on Keen's face. She stirred slightly, fluttered her eyes, then blinked a few times trying to fully wake herself up. She saw Rachael and Ressler talking as he sat beside her hospital bed.

"Your dog sound so cool, what's her name?" Rachael asked.

"Mattie. I'm sure I could bring her by sometime."

"Really? You'll let me see her?"

Ressler nodded and Rachael squealed in excitement. "Hey, don't wake your mom." Ressler said trying to quiet Rachael.

"It's okay, I'm already awake." Keen yawned as she stood up. "What time is it?"

"Still early." Ressler said as he passed her a coffee off the desk.

"Thanks," Keen replied and walked to Rachael's bed side and placed her hand on top of hers. "How are you feeling?"

Rachael gave a slight shrug.

"A doctor came by, said she could leave in a couple hours." Ressler said. Keen nodded in reply as she felt a lump set in her throat. Even though none of this was her fault, she couldn't help but feel like it was. Rachael was her daughter. Her _responsibility_. She was supposed to protect her. Without saying anything, Keen turned and walked out of the hospital room. She was afraid her voice would come out shaky. They could guess she went to the bathroom anyway.

Rachael and Ressler looked on as Keen left the room. Something was definitely bothering her. _Probably the obvious,_ Ressler thought sourly. He hated what he said yesterday, but after Cooper's speech, breaking it off with Keen seemed like the only reasonable thing to do. Now it just seemed stupid. He needed Keen. And maybe this cute baby troll thing in front of him too, who seemed quite gloomy at the moment. "Is she mad at me because I hurt that boy? " Rachael said softly, interrupting Ressler's thoughts. Her eyes were glossed over like she could start crying any minute.

"No, it's impossible for Keen to get mad at you." Rachael nodded, but she didn't seem convinced. "Look on the bright side Rach, you're a badass now." Ressler joked. This was the part were Rachael would usually glance up with those big hazel eyes and start laughing. The part where Ressler would inwardly smile. Instead, she picked at her bandages with a sorrowful stare that was too dark for any child to have. "Can I tell you something?" she asked.

"Go ahead."

"Okay, but you can't tell Liz."

Ressler frowned. If it was serious, he couldn't keep it from Keen. "I won't."

Rachael sat up. "Dee Dee, I mean it. You can't say anything."

 _Did a_ four year old _just read me?_ "I won't Rach."

"Pinky promise?" Rachael held out her pinky.

Ressler refrained himself from rolling his eyes. "Pinky promise."

Rachael nodded as she sunk back down into her hospital bed, finally feeling comfortable with telling Ressler. No one was demonic enough to break a pinky promise.

Quietly, Rachael said, "I still get nightmares. They never stopped really. I just learned how to deal with them." she continued picking at her bandages to avoid eye contact. Ressler had somewhat expected this. He figured since Red wanted to erase her memory, it would definitely take a while to get over. He couldn't find anything comforting to say, and he wasn't the 'it's gonna be okay' type of person, especially when he knew it probably wasn't, so he just told her the truth.

"You know what Rach? I still get nightmares too."

Rachael glanced up wide-eyed as she hung onto every word. "About what?"

Ressler smirked. "That's for another day. Get some rest kiddo." he gently kissed her forehead then stood up.

xxx

Keen washed her face in the hospital bathroom. The cold water felt refreshing compared to all the stuff that happened lately. Her phone rang, making her jump slightly. She knew it was Brent before she seen the caller ID. She felt bad for standing him up yesterday, but she didn't feel like talking now. Although, he _was_ going to tell her what school Rachael could go to now since there was no way she was taking her daughter back to Honey Comb Pre-K.

Keen answered the phone.

"Hey, Liz."

She figured she should apologize for standing him up. "I'm sorry I-"

"It's fine," he cut her off, "Let's not talk about that. I already texted you Rachael's new school anyway. It's nice and I think she'll like it."

"Thanks Brent, but I guess we won't be seeing each other again." Keen hated the twinge of happiness that slipped into her words.

"No worries, I put in a transfer so I'll be teaching at her new school."

Keen's mouth went dry. "Oh. You...you didn't have too."

"Yeah,I know," even over the phone Keen knew he was blushing. "See you around Liz."

"Bye."

When she hung up the phone she noticed a text from Red, saying to meet him at a house address for an 'urgent matter'. _What the hell was so urgent this early?_

Keen walked down the hall and seen Ressler standing outside Rachael's hospital room. "She's sleeping." he said as he approached Keen.

Keen nodded. "Red called. I'm gonna see what he wants."

"Alright, I'll stay with Rach."

Keen sighed. She didn't want to burden him any longer. He made it clear last night that he wanted no part beyond being just partners. "Are you sure? The nurses can watch her."

"I'm sure." He glanced around uncomfortably then met her eyes again. "Keen, about what I said last night...I shouldn't have."

"It's okay. We were all going through stuff yesterday."

"No, it's not okay. I needed to be there for you."

"You were. Your words on the other hand...not so much."

They both lightly chuckled.

"Actions speak louder than words right?"

"Don't get cocky now." Keen laughed. She looked past him and into the glass window at Rachael and her smile slowly faded. Rachael looked so small and weak laying in her hospital bed. "It's good that you're gonna stay with her." Keen tightly smiled. "She likes you."

Ressler kissed her cheek. "She likes _us._ " he corrected.

xxx

Keen arrived at the house address and got out of her car. It was a Red-style house.

"Lizzie, glad you could make it." Red said as he and Dembe were walking towards her.

"What's wrong?"

"Hm?"

"You said there was an 'urgent matter'. So what's wrong?"

"Oh yes, that." Red turned towards the house. "Isn't it lovely?"

"Why do I have a feeling there was nothing urgent." Keen said flatly.

"Did you know a house built in the 1800's used to be there? They broke it down a little over a year ago and rebuilt it into this."

Keen furrowed her brows. It was best to let Red finish his 'speeches'.

"It's fascinating, don't get me wrong, but I just hate to see history die so meaningless."

Frowning, Keen placed her hands on her hips. "Will you please tell me why we're here?"

Red tilted his head as he stared at her, but gave no answer. Keen glanced at Dembe who just shrugged as if to say 'sorry'.

"Who's house is that?" Keen sighed, hoping that was the question that could explain something.

Red held out keys. "Yours."

Keen lightly scoffed then realized he was serious. "Oh no, no. I can't-I won't-accept this."

"When you were alone I understood why you wouldn't accept my housing, but now you have a princess to look after. She deserves better than a hotel Lizzie." Keen frowned. "For crying out loud, you won't even allow me to spoiler her." Red threw his arms up in fake exasperation.

"Okay, fine." Keen took the keys.

"Such gratitude." Red replied sarcastically, causing Keen to roll her eyes. "On a serious note, I can't wait till you bring the princess here. Just between the three of us, I'm curious to know how she'll react."

A slow smile went across Keen's face. "You're nervous."

Red just gave her a look and fixed his fedora. "My work is done here."

"Best wishes to you Elizabeth. I believe Rachael will like it." Dembe said.

"I hope so." Keen replied as she watched him follow Red back into their car. Keen numbly glanced down at they keys in her hand.

When she walked into the house she immediately knew why Red got it for her. It wasn't Red's style. It was her style. It was modest...sort of. Sure, they were extravagant paintings on the wall that Keen wouldn't even dare to guess the prices of, but that was OK.

Now this place would just have to pass the 'Rachael test'.

xxx

"She's so cute!" Rachael exclaimed, giggling, as she ruffled the dog's fur and the dog licked her face.

"I see you finally introduced them." Keen said to Ressler as they watched Rachael play with Mattie in her hospital room.

"Yeah,I promised Rach I'd let her see Mattie so I had to bring her."

"That's sweet Don."

Ressler shrugged. "So what did Red want?"

Keen raised her house keys.

"I should've known." he muttered.

Keen chortled. "I'm gonna take Rachael to see the place now, you can come if you want."

"Okay, I'll wait in the car while you change Rach out of her hospital gown."

Keen slightly frowned and sighed, "I don't think I'll ever get used to hospitals." she admitted. She was worried about everything and it felt like a hundred tabs were open in her mind.

Ressler noticed this and gave her shoulder a comfortable squeeze. "I don't know what's going to happen next, but I know I'll be with you when it does." he pecked her on the mouth before he turned to walk out the door.

xxx

Parking the car, Ressler glanced at Keen in the passenger seat. "Is this it?"

"Yep." she nodded, sending a nervous look to Rachael who was in the back seat.

When they got out of the car the house looked like the inside of a snow globe just waiting to be shook. It was post-card perfect. They all seemed to stare at it for a moment before beginning to walk. It had a huge front lawn so the walk would take a couple minutes. Keen and Ressler walked beside each other as Rachael led a few steps ahead in a trance-like manner.

"I think she likes it." Ressler stated.

Keen didn't want to get her hopes too high. "I don't know, I hope it's not overwhelming for her." she glanced at him. "Thanks for coming."

"No problem."

"I just really want her to like this." Keen sighed.

Ressler shrugged. "If she doesn't, you could always take her back."

"Ressler!" Keen playfully slapped his arm. "Don't joke about that." She reached down to grab some snow and started making a snowball.

"Wait, it was a joke. Don't-"

She threw it at him.

He blinked. "Really Keen? What are we in grade school?" he wiped the snow off his jacket as Keen got more snow and slowly shaped it into the perfect snowball then threw it directly in his face. "Ow-Keen, I'm not having a snowball fight with you."

Keen shrugged. "Fine, lose then." she began to make another snowball. _Lose?_ Donald Ressler loses nothing. He made a snowball and threw it at Keen.

Alas, the snowball fight began.

Keen was winning, _obviously,_ and Ressler called for 'back-up'. Rachael, who had been watching on the sidelines, dived into the snow and made odd shaped snowballs to throw at her mother. "No fair!" Keen squealed as she got pelted with snow thrown by her daughter and boyfriend. "You two can't use your special bond against me!" she laughed.

Rachael shrugged and dropped her 'weapons' feeling it was _slightly_ unfair. "We can make snow angels instead." she suggested.

"Yeah, let's do that." Keen rushed to say out of breath, not wanting to get hit by any more ice crystals.

"I don't-" Ressler started, but was interrupted by Rachael pulling his arm. _Strong little demon..._

They all ended up laying on the ground making snow angels. It felt a silly at first (and in the end), but seeing the joy it brought to Rachael made it all worth it. Keen sat up and looked at the house. She realized they hadn't even made it there yet. Here was this beautiful house just waiting for them, and they were in the cold front yard acting goofy. Keen wondered if she was scared for Rachael to see it. She wanted Rachael's approval no doubt, but she couldn't stall all day. It was terrifying to think Rachael could hate it. Which was _very_ possible.

"Are you ready to go inside?" Keen asked then glanced at Rachael who intently trying to catch a snowflake in her mouth. "Sweetie?"

"Huhh?"

"Come on." Keen laughed.

xxx

The three of them walked through the house doors as Keen held Rachael's hand, but she let go so Rachael could explore the house herself. She always thought kids loved to run around their new place, but Rachael took Keen's hand again. Keen hid a smile that tried to appear. After all this time, Rachael finally wanted her. Needed her.

"So...what do you think?" Keen asked cautiously once they finished going through all the rooms.

Rachael looked at Keen and gave a tentative smile. "I like it."

"You like it?" Keen let out a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding. "That's great." Keen nodded to herself. All the effort and struggle was actually paying off.

"...But it's missing something." Rachael added interrupting Keen's thoughts.

Keen swore she was about to faint.

"Like what Rach?" Ressler spoke up after noticing Keen's change in demeanor. She's nervous alright.

"It needs us." Rachael said softly. "Like pictures."

Keen sighed feeling relieved. "That's a good idea. A photographer can come and take photos of you and me."

"And Dee Dee!" Rachael said cheerfully.

Keen chortled. "And Don."

Ressler made a face. "I'll pass."

"Why?" Rachael asked.

"I hate taking pictures, especially when I have to be told how to pose."

"Stop being a grinch." Keen said dryly.

"Is there anything else that you want Rach?" Ressler asked as he ignored Keen's insult. Rachael seemed to think about this for a moment.

"I want a piggy back ride." she finally announced then looked from Keen to Ressler then back again.

 _Why did I ask?_

Ressler glanced at Keen and she stepped back as if to say 'it's all you'. "Fine." Ressler muttered. He got on his hand and knees and Rachael climbed on his back like he was a horse. Or a really large dog.

Rachael giggled. "Gitty up puppy."

"Puppies don't gitty up."

"Well this one does."

"No, this one doesn't, because 'this one' is a human."

Keen laughed at their banter as she leaned against the wall. "He can be a train, Rachael."

"My knees are starting to hurt." Ressler complained.

"A broken down train..." Keen murmured as Ressler sent her a glare.

Rachael tugged his hair. "Gitty up."

Ressler crawled around the whole house with Rachael on his back then stopped when he got back to Keen. Rachael giggled as he rolled on his side to let her off. "If you two are planning on killing me, it's working." Ressler chortled.

Keen laughed thinking how she hadn't had this much fun in... _ever_. It was actually sad to admit that and she frowned. She felt safe and whole. She didn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. It seemed like whenever you got really happy, something or someone came by to ruin it all. She watched Ressler stand up and walked over to her as Rachael finally wandered off by herself. "She can take the bandages off in three days." Ressler said, misinterpreting Keen's frown, but she nodded anyway.

"Her scars will still be there. They will remind her."

"She's young. She'll have many good memories to cover that."

"Like the one she just had?" Keen smirked.

"Never bring that up again." Ressler tried to suppress a smile. "So when are you going to get your stuff out of your apartment?"

"Eh, soon."

"Need help?"

Keen shrugged. "It's not that much."

"Alright. I'll be here when you get back."

Keen raised an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me you thought I was going to let you stay here alone on your first night?"

And suddenly, Keen wanted the night to come.

xxx

It was like a weight lifted off her shoulders once she moved her stuff into the house. She was glad to be out of that dingy apartment and ready to turn a new page in her life. _A good page._

The three of them ended up ordering pizza while watching a children's movie. Ressler couldn't stand the constant little-animated animals singing in high pitched voices. Rachael even fell asleep half way through it, but Keen let it play till the end, despite Ressler saying to turn it off. Keen carried Rachael to her bedroom and softly closed the door so she wouldn't wake her. On her way down the hall she stopped by Ressler's room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed reading over the a case. Typical.

"Knock, knock." Keen announced as she walked in.

"You know, normal people _actually_ knock."

"You know, normal people don't work every chance they get." Keen mocked.

"Fair enough." he smirked as he set the file on the desk.

"Rach is sleep, I just came to say goodnight."

Ressler nodded. "Goodnight Liz."

"Good nite Don." She gave a small wave. _A very unnecessary one,_ Keen thought to herself as she lingered by the doorway. She wanted to keep talking, but she had no idea what to say. She just knew that she wanted to stay with him for a little longer, like forever. "Don?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I sleep with you?" she flushed. "Not like that. I mean-" It had sounded so innocent in her mind.

"I get it." Ressler laughed as he scooted over to make room for Keen. She slide beside him and turned off the lamp.

"I won't try anything." he assured through the darkness.

"I know Don." The thought of Ressler making an unwanted move was almost laughable. He was a...gentleman. In fact, Keen always thought he was the type of guy to ask just to make sure. And that was cute. Keen closed her eyes and soon found herself dozing off.

It was close to 2 am when a faint whisper split through the air.

"Mom..."

Keen groaned, rolled over, and squinted into the darkness. She saw Rachael standing at her bed side in her footie pjama's, dragging her huge pink teddy bear behind her. "Sweetie what's wrong?" Keen rubbed her eyes.

"I can't sleep. I had a bad dream."

"Okay, come on." Keen said as she scooted over and bumped into Ressler. He wrapped a tired arm around her and pulled her close, cuddling her.

He was definitely sleeping.

Rachael curled into Keen as she hugged her stuffed bear. "Goodnight mom." she whispered.

Keen kissed her daughter's cheek. "Good Nite sweetie." It was pretty nice being squished by your two favorite people, although, it might get a little odd when the morning comes. Ressler spooning Keen, Keen spooning Rachael, and Rachael spooning her bear.

 **A rather fluffy chapter (sorry!), but the next one will be back on track with drama/violence as usual. Lol, I promise! (ᵔᴥᵔ)**


	15. Chapter 15

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **Chapter Fifteen: "Just Above Jealous"**

"Do we have to wear these ridiculous outfits?"

"It's not ridiculous. And yes, it's picture day." Keen claimed as she sported a goofy smile. She was excited and wasn't hiding any of it. Ressler rolled his eyes at his button down green shirt with a collar. It wasn't bad, but he already wore suits half of the day so he preferred to go casual when he wasn't working. At least Rachael looked just as 'picture day' as he did with her little Debbie shoes, high socks, and a pleat-free dress. Keen even curled Rachael's hair to perfection so she looked like a long haired Shirley Temple.

The doorbell rang and Keen rushed to get it, then stopped to turn towards them. "Remember, be nice, don't chew anything, and please pay attention when we take the photos." Keen took a breath, "That goes for the both of you." she teased before opening the door. The camera man introduced himself to everyone then he started instructing them where to stand and the different family poses to take. It was boring to Rachael, torture to Ressler, and bliss to Keen. To get Rachael into it Keen told her that she was the fairest of them all. It worked...kind of. For a while Rachael was strutting like a model, pose here, pose there, but the magic wore off soon and she was bored again. She messed around with Ressler most of the time while Keen kept telling them to look into the camera or stand a certain way.

When they were done and the photographer left, Keen looked over the photo's. In almost every one, Rachael and Ressler were making funny faces or doing something silly. As much as it upset Keen, it was nice to see Rachael bring a side out of Ressler that practically no one else could.

"Assholes." Keen muttered as she flipped through another picture.

"That was plural." Ressler said for he was close enough to hear.

"Well I just meant you." Keen corrected, smirking.

"So are we going to hang them up now?"

"No, we should probably get to work."

"Oh, that's right, because you call a damn photographer to come at 6 in the morning."

"It's not that early." Keen laughed.

"Yes it is." Rachael chimed in. "Don't forget that you have to drop me off at school too."

Keen rolled her eyes. They definitely felt like being pest this morning. "Just get in the car."

xxx

 **[Two Months Later]**

"Good job. Finally got that bastard." Samar said.

"It was a team effort." Ressler replied as he stacked files into a box.

"The way I saw it, you're the one that tackled and cuffed him when he was holding a knife." Samar leaned against the desk. "He's known for skinning people, you know."

Ressler smirked as he put more papers into the box. "Guess I took my chances, didn't I?"

"A very stupid chance." Samar scoffed, "You, Keen, Aram, and I should get drinks. Celebrate. Relax a bit."

Ressler closed the box then lifted it up. "I'm good. Maybe next time."

"What are you doing with those files anyway? You do realize we just finished this case."

"I look over them. Make sure we didn't miss anything."

"He likes to bore himself to death." Keen corrected as she worked out of her office. "He still reads the Sculptor's case and we put him away a month ago."

"I'm _careful_." Ressler replied.

"So what about you Keen, drinks?" Samar asked.

"I'd love too, but I promised I'd help move some boxes at Rachael's school." Keen replied, not missing the slight grimace Ressler made. Ever since Rachael started going to her new school Keen decided that every time a shipment of supplies came in, (which was about once every three months) she would help move the boxes to the school basement. And of course, that involved helping Brent, which Ressler wasn't too fond of. But Keen didn't care. She knew Brent was just a nice guy with a harmless crush on the wrong woman.

Samar sighed, "Fine. What about you Aram?"

He glanced up from his computer. "Huh?"

"Drinks?"

"Oh..Uh, yes, yeah. Sure."

Samar smirked to herself. There was nothing better than watching him squirm.

"I'll see you guys later." Keen said as she got into the elevator.

Ressler watched her leave then went into his office. It's been two months since they've been together now and they kept their relationship just between them, besides Red, who just knew somehow. It wasn't intentional to keep their relationship from their colleagues at first, but when they were at work they were all business. You wouldn't even think they were friends. But every now and then they would graze the other's hand or give a small smile that only the other could see. It wasn't much, but it meant everything.

Ressler opened a drawer behind his desk and looked at the tiny box that held a ring inside. He had bought it weeks ago hoping one day he'd have the courage to ask Liz. He didn't want to rush into anything, but he knew he wanted no one besides Liz. Were their lives to hectic to get married? _No_ , Ressler thought. It wasn't like they'd quit their jobs and become stay-at-home parents. This would just prove their commitment to each other.

 _And it would keep shits like Brent at bay,_ Ressler mind sourly quipped as he grabbed a pen and tapped it against his desk in an off-beat rhythm. **_Tap, tap, tap._**

Aram knocked softly on the open glass door. "Agent Ressler, I have the files you asked me to copy."

"Thanks," he replied absentmindedly as Aram set them on his desk then turned to leave. Ressler was still deep in thought. He needed to find a way to ask Liz. He found out that if he kept waiting for 'the right time' he would never ask Keen. Every time -including peaceful ones- seemed like a bad time for such a grand question. Maybe it would be easier to tell someone instead of just carrying the nervous weight himself...tell someone...

"Hey, Aram?" Ressler called as Aram turned around half way out the door, with a surprised eyebrow raised. "We're friends right?"

Aram frowned, looking slightly hurt and stunned by the question. "I would hope so."

Ressler nodded, barely hearing Aram's reply. He had no idea how to began the sentence or even say it for that matter, so he set the ring box on his desk.

Aram stared at it as he slowly understood what that meant. Suddenly, he seemed like he was choking on air. "You're getting married?" Aram shouted.

Ressler covered Aram's mouth. "Sit down," he hissed as he let go of him. "And don't tell anyone, damn it. If Reddington finds out..." Ressler just shook his head at that terrible, terrible thought.

"Sorry." Aram took a seat, "I've never been good at keeping secrets though."

"Well, you better start now because I'm gonna tell you."

"Why would you tell me?"

"Because-" _you're my only guy friend._ "I don't know why," Ressler said getting irritated. "Just keep quiet okay?"

"I'll try." Aram nodded as curiosity took over, "Who are you going to ask?"

Ressler glanced at the box as he absentmindedly began tapping the pen again. **_Tap, tap, tap_**. He felt like his throat was closing. _It's an easy question, just answer it._ No going back now _. No wanting to go back._ "It's Liz."

xxx

The supply truck was backed up to the school for a shorter walk. Taking out a box, Keen and Brent started towards the school's basement. Every time they would pass down the hall Keen would peek into the glass doors to see her daughter in class. Rachael only caught her looking once, and she smiled brightly upon seeing her.

"Look's like that's the last box." Keen huffed as she set her box ontop of another one.

"Yeah," Brent agreed, "Just gotta unpack them now."

Keen nodded and took the box cutter from her pocket and cut the tape off the first box. She glanced up and noticed Brent was staring at her. "Are you okay?" she asked, suppressing a laugh with a smile.

"Yeah," he flushed, giving a nervous smile as he ran his hands through his hair - his signature, Keen thought. "Thanks for helping."

"No problem." she cut the tape off another box.

"Do you want to go out with me Liz?"

The words hit Keen like an icy wind. She didn't have to be a profiler to see that one coming. She slowly shook her head as the words: "I'm sorry." echoed from her mouth.

He nodded solemnly then with realization sinking deep, he frowned. "It's that guy isn't it?" his voice was surprisingly chilling.

"Brent-" Keen began, _you never had a chance,_ but thankfully she didn't voice those words.

"No," he cut her off, "I love you Liz. He doesn't deserve you."

Keen frowned. "You don't evemmphh." Keen muffled to say as he kissed her."Brenmm-" he cut her off again with another closed-mouth kiss. She pushed him back. "Will you stop that?" she said more angrily than intended, but she wasn't sorry. She tucked hair behind her ear and cut tape off another box.

Brent took the box cutter from her hand. "I'll unpack them later," he avoided eye contact, "Just go home." and much too Keen's surprise, he didn't sound upset at all. He sounded hurt and defeated which only made just made Keen feel bad. But she did go home. No good would come from her staying.

xxx

Keen walked through her front door and her eyes found the piano in the living room. It was one of her daughter's very few interest. Red brought it as 'home welcoming gift' two days after they moved in and Rachael fell in love with it ever since. She would spend hours behind that piano, so often in fact, that Red would come over and teach Rachael how to play. It became their thing. And Red flaunted the 'grandpa' card. Probably because Ressler cringed at the thought of Reddington being related to Keen, even if they were just pretending for Rachael's sake.

Keen graced her fingers across the piano keys. She could already see her daughter all grown up, playing on a big stage. A car door shut from outside and Keen glanced towards the window. _Who would be here at this time?_

Ressler drove to Keen's house as soon he had gotten off of work. He was going to ask her. He wouldn't put it off any longer. _As soon as you see her, just ask her_. It's what he repeated to himself till he got there. Getting out of the car, he felt the tiny box in his jacket pocket.

"Hey." Keen asked with a hint of confusion as she walked towards him. He usually called before he came over.

"Hey." Ressler replied, inwardly cursing himself for the slight nervousness that Keen would fish out in his voice. She instantly furrowed her brows.

"Did something happen?" Keen was calm, but with the way things have been going lately, he noticed she was already tensed and waiting for the bad news.

"No, everything's fine," he hugged his arms around her waist. "Did everything go well at the school?" _You're easing into the question,_ he told himself. _You're not stalling, you're easing into it._

Keen just shrugged, she couldn't lie to him. He would see right through it anyway.

"How's Rach? She told me you spy on her at school."

"It's not spying! I'm very observant!" Keen laughed.

"Not how Rach sees it." he teased, making her roll her eyes before becoming serious.

"Don?"

"Yeah?" he brushed some hair out of her face.

"I'm going to get Rachael's last name changed to Scott. Mine too. I don't want her living her life as a Keen. I think it'd also be a nice way to remember Sam, but I don't know how I'm suppose to tell Rachael? She's gonna question why I want to change our last names." a frown was set on Liz's face. "I can't tell her about Tom. She wouldn't even understand." Keen sighed as she leaned into Ressler's embrace. "I don't know what to do."

"Honestly, I think your last name sounds better as Ressler."

Keen leaned back and studied his face questionably. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions. "Are you-?"

"Asking you to marry me?" Ressler shrugged with a knowing smirk. "Depends if you say yes." he took out the ring box and opened it.

Keen gave a breathless scoff in surprise. "Don," she blinked rapidly to make sure this wasn't a dream. "Yes, a million times yes." she jumped into him and squealed as he spun her slight frame around. After a couple -okay, a few- kisses, they got into the car and went to pick up Rachael from school.

xxx

"I'll get her." Ressler said as he walked into the classroom and Keen stood outside of it. It was unspoken, but ever since _that_ day Rachael always preferred Ressler to carry her out of the classroom.

Keen peered into the classroom and noticed an unfamiliar teacher. She figured Brent was unpacking the boxes now. She wanted to set things back right with them. She went into the basement and found him struggling to cut the tape off of the boxes. He glanced up when he seen her, giving a sheepish smile as he waved the box cutter in the air. "It's dull. I left my good one in my car."

"Why don't you get the good one?" Keen said, playing along to their light banter.

Brent shrugged, "I will soon..."

"Look Brent, I never wanted to hurt you." She didn't feel like dancing around it any longer.

"I know." Brent shrugged again as his free hand ran through his hair, "It's not your fault that you're so lovable." he joked then glanced down, "I'm sorry I kissed you."

"It's fine, just don't do it again."

"I won't." he smiled again, seemingly happy Keen was even talking to him after his stunt eariler.

Keen nodded as they both exited the basement. She went down the hall and he walked out of the school. _To get the good box cutter,_ Keen thought with slight amusement.

She saw Rachael and Ressler waiting for her by the classroom. "Mom," Rachael wore a big smile, "I think I made a friend today. She likes apple's and teddy bears and her favorite color is green, like mine! And _obviously_ Dee Dee's," she jumped up and tried to poke his eye out, trying to gesture to it, before continuing to talk to her mom, "And she has a puppy and I sort of have Mattie so we talked about our dogs for a while. Oh, and class was good too."

"Sounds like you had fun." Keen laughed as Rachael nodded. It was nice to finally see Rachael's personally come was like she had a different girl standing before her and it was a good thing.

Ressler passed Rachael the car keys and asked her to wait in the car. "Your mom and I will be there in a minute." he said.

"Okay." Rachael replied as she skipped down the hall, her brown hair bouncing.

Keen raised her eyebrow at Ressler as she patiently waited for him to speak, but he just glanced around uncomfortably as if trying to find the right words to say. His expression was soft and stern at the same time. The way someone would look when they were curious to ask something, but really didn't know if they wanted the answer.

"Brent kissed you?"

"What the hell Don?" Keen frowned, "You were listening?"

"I went looking for you after Rachael asked for you."

Keen sighed, "It was nothing."

Ressler nodded, "Well I'm gonna make sure _he_ knows that."

"You don't have to do that." Keen replied. _P_ _lease don't do that._

"Liz, I don't like the fact that this guy is constantly pursuing you."

"He won't try it again."

Ressler put his hands on his hips. "How are you so sure?"

"I'm a profiler for a reason." but that didn't seem to convince Ressler.

"I'm just going to tell him not to try anything like that again. This stupid crush has gone too far." Ressler said as he started walking down the hall to find Brent.

"Don, wait-" Keen called to him. She had a bad feeling anything involving a jealous Ressler and Brent wouldn't end well. "I already told him not to kiss me again," he still kept walking. "I know he'll listen because he wouldn't purposely upset me. Don, it's not a stupid crush to him." Keen took a breath. "He...he said he loves me." she somehow knew that _that_ information would make Ressler turn around. He wore his usual emotionless scowl.

"Oh, he loves you?" Ressler scoffed, "Like Tom did?"

Keen could barely believe she heard Ressler correctly. She knew he was upset, jealous even; but that hurt.

"Asshole." was all Keen could muster before she quickly started down the hallway towards the door. She wanted nothing more than to leave.

Realizing he crossed the line, Ressler offered his apologies as he followed her. "Leave me alone." Keen told him as she opened the school doors and collided with someone who had been walking as fast as she had been. They helped her up, saying they were sorry; it was Brent.

"Get your hands off of her." Ressler growled to the younger man.

Brent stepped back and noticed Keen was close to tears. "What the hell did you do? I knew you weren't good for her!" then he focused his attention on Keen and the ring she had on her finger, "You're marrying him?" he harshly whispered incredulously.

"That's none of your concern." Ressler told him.

"It is now! You don't deserve her!" Brent yelled as he lunged at Ressler in hopes of hitting him, but Ressler grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall.

"Stop it! Both of you stop it!" Keen pleaded as she suddenly wished she had her gun with her.

Everyone stopped when a gun was involved.

Brent punched Ressler in the jaw, making him stagger backwards. After regaining his composure, Ressler landed a few blows of his own; he and Brent were in a full scuffle, Ressler having the upper hand. A couple teachers and students had come out to see what was all the commotion. At first, Keen was just embarrassed and wanted it to end, but now she realized this was escalating quickly.

Since words weren't working, Keen barged herself between the two men and tried to push them away from each other. She couldn't hold either back with just one arm, so she ended up getting awkwardly squished in the middle. Just then Brent took his box cutter out of his pocket and plunged it forward until connecting into flesh. Thinking the short knife wouldn't do much damaged, he took it out then impaled it again in rapid succession several more times until his box cutter was covered in blood. He stepped back, and what he seen made him drop the box cutter and stare on in horror.

Keen was holding her stomach as blood seeped through her shirt. She fell to the side and Ressler caught her. "Call an ambulance!"

Brent froze. "I-I didn't mean too. It was supposed to be you. It was supposed to be you." he mumbled between shaky breathes.

"I said call the fucking ambulance!" Ressler repeated as he held a bleeding Liz in his arms. Flashbacks of Audrey were all too vivid in his mind but he quickly pushed those thoughts away. Brent uselessly collapsed to the ground and started sobbing while murmuring apologies to Liz. Ressler lifted Keen up and carried her to his car.

He would take her to the hospital his self.

"Hey, talk to me Liz." Ressler said as he laid her carefully in the back seat. Keen was drifting in and out of consciousness.

"Mom!" Rachael screamed as her eyes were wide in terror. Tears instantly started flowing down her cheeks. "What happened? Dee Dee, what happened?" She reached halfway out of the car to grab Ressler's shirt and pull him inside.

"I gotta drive Rach." He held her tiny hand in his.

"...Don..Rach," Keen said weakly, her eyes half closed. "I love you."

"No, damn it. You're gonna tell us that when you're all better. I'm not gonna lose you Keen." _I can't._ Ressler said before letting go of Rachael's hand and jogging around to the driver's side.

xxx

Ressler felt nauseated as he carried Keen through the hospital doors. The smell of vomit, anesthetics, and urine filled the air so thickly that he could almost taste it. As many times as he's been here he thought he would have gotten used to it, he thought it would have been easier...

It wasn't.

"She needs help!" He shouted, getting a few doctor's attention. Soon they strolled Keen away on a gurney. Ressler watched them bring her into the hospital room and shut the door. Since she was getting surgery done he knew he couldn't be in the room with her so he sat in a waiting chair. He couldn't sit for long though. He started pacing. He couldn't look at the faded yellow walls that were intended to cheer you up. How could you possibly get cheered up because of a damn yellow wall? He paced for minutes which turned into hours. Ressler barely even noticed Rachael was sitting there until she asked him to hold her while she slept.

If took a few minutes for Rachael to fall asleep, but soon all he could hear was her steady breathing. He brushed some hair out of her face and watched her tiny eyes flutter beneath their lids. Somewhere between all the chaos that's happened, this little girl stole his heart.

What if he had to raise her alone?

What if Keen had bleed out too much? What if she - no. _No._

He kissed Rachael's forehead and forced himself not to think about that. "I'll always protect you," he glanced up and wiped his eyes with his shoulder. He hadn't realized he'd been crying, "Liz is gonna make it. Don't worry." He knew he was taking to himself, but he really didn't care at this point.

The hospital room door opened. "Ressler?" a doctor said, "She's heavily medicated, but you can see her now. She's been asking for you."

xxx

 _She was so pale._

It seemed like it took all her strength just to keep her eyes open and they were clouded from the drugs, but she gave a tired smile when she seen Ressler. Then she glanced around the room worried.

"She's right outside the door." Ressler assured as Keen sighed, loving how he could read her mind like that.

"Where you two out there the whole time?" her voice came out horse and she cleared her throat.

"Yeah." Ressler replied as he pulled a chair next her and held her hand. He wanted her to know that he was here and that he would always be here.

"I missed you." Keen murmured. Ressler figured the drugs were somewhat controlling what she said, but it was nice nonetheless. "They said I had minor internal bleeding, but no artery or organs where hit. They said the box cutter was too short to reach anything vital."

Ressler should have been relieved about the news, but instead he tensed. Even knowing she was hurt at all was terrible enough. And worst of all, he knew this was all his fault. Keen noticed his change in demeanor and squeezed his hand. "Hey, look on the bright side, now we have matching scars." she weakly smirked. She was referring to his stab wound he had gotten from going under cover.

"That's not funny Keen."

Keen shifted as a small laugh escaped her mouth. "You're always so grumpy." Ressler managed a chortle, but it was mostly to amuse Keen. "What's gonna happen to Brent?" she asked.

"Well, after I murder him..."

"Don!"

"I'm kidding." he gave his famous half smile then leaned over to kiss her face. "I love you Liz."

She reached up and traced her finger down his jawbone, then across at his lips and stopped. She was staring at him like he was a foreign creature that just fell upon the earth, her blue eyes glinting with a twinge of entrancement and prescription drugs. Carefully, she said, "I love you too."

He took her hand off of his face and kissed the back of her palm. "I'm sorry I can be an ass sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Keen joked, making them both chortle.

"Mom?" Rachael's tiny voice echoed in the room. She stood at the door, obviously too nervous or scared to walk any closer.

Keen tried to sit up, winced, then settled with just turning her head to the side. "Sweetie, come here." she mumbled as she struggled to keep her heavy eyelids open. Rachael slowly walked towards her mother, glancing at Ressler, who nodded in encouragement. When Rachael got to Keen's bed she tried to climb up it, but a worried look formed on Keen's face. She didn't want Rachael to sit or jump on her stomach and rip her stitches open. Ressler must have thought the same thing because he grabbed Rachael -who was climbing up the side of the bed like it was Mount Everest- and set her on her feet.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Rachael asked shyly to her mother.

Keen made her lips tug upwards, "Of course."

"You don't look okay."

"Rach." Ressler said in a warning tone.

"It's okay, I do look like hell." Keen admitted as a nurse walked in.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but Miss Keen needs her rest." the nurse told them.

Ressler and Rachael sighed simultaneously. That was nurse's polite way of saying get the fuck out. Ressler gave an apologetic look to Keen before standing up. "Let's go Rach."

"But...I don't want to go."

"We can't stay." Ressler reasoned, but Rachael pouted.

"You'll get to see Mattie." Keen chimed in, "Report back how's she's doing when you see me tomorrow."

Rachael nodded as she held Ressler's hand. She wondered how long her mom was going to be in the hospital and how she got there. Over time she developed a great love for Liz. And from watching movies and noticing that ring on her mom's finger, she figured Ressler felt the same way.


	16. Chapter 16

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 **Chapter Sixteen: "A Little Perfection In The Madness"**

When you are in the hospital for a month, it seemed like forever. Keen felt useless knowing that she was badly injured and confined to these four walls. You had nothing to look forward to doing beside stare at the ceiling and wishing you got better. It was tolerable though because her colleagues and Red would often visit, and Ressler and Rachael would come by every day.

Keen loved to know what was going on outside this hospital. She liked to listen to the stories her daughter would tell. And since Ressler was just taking care of Rachael now, the stories were always entertaining. It must have been weird for the outside world, thinking that Ressler, of all people, was a single dad.

As if on cue, Rachael and Ressler walked through the door. The nurses rarely warned Keen when they were coming because they came every day. They approached Keen cautiously as if not wanting to bother her, giving small smiles as they reached her bedside.

"How are you feeling?" Ressler asked.

"Better. I can't wait to get out of here." Keen sighed, "I miss you guys."

"The feeling's mutual, this parent thing is a lot tougher than you made it seem."

Keen had to laugh. She always thought she made it look like a day to day struggle. A nurse peeked into the room, "Miss Keen, you have another visitor," she glanced at her clipboard, "Red. Would you like us to let him in?"

"In a moment." Keen replied, and the nurse politely nodded and shut the door back.

"Grandpa's here?" Rachael asked. She found him weird; which was cool. "Mom, can I see him?"

"Go ahead," Keen replied as she watched Rachael run out of the room. She glanced down, numbly fidgeting with her hospital blanket, "She's gonna be grown in a blink of an eye." Keen said more to herself, shocked at how sad she sounded.

Ressler leaned down to kiss her cheek, his lips lingering on her face longer than necessary before standing upright again. "Then blink slowly."

Keen softly chortled, "Thanks." The room slipped into seconds of comfortable silence until Keen finally spoke again, "Have you see him yet?"

Ressler involuntarily grimaced, "I'm going to see him today."

Keen nodded, feeling a surge of uneasiness and slight happiness at the same time. She'd been asking Ressler to check on Brent, who had been held at the county jail shortly after the accident. He was let out because Keen choose not to press any charges and she's been worried about him ever since. He hadn't even attempted to contact her or the school once. He might have been too ashamed to contact her, but why wouldn't he start work again? She would look for him herself, but obviously, she couldn't. So asking Ressler was the second best option.

"Thanks." Keen sighed as she held Ressler's hand. She could tell by the way he tensed that he didn't want anything to do with Brent, so she changed the subject, "So what's it like being a single dad?" she mused.

Ressler lightly chortled, shaking his head as if seeing all the memories again, "Well, let's recall the past month; I read a bedtime story every night, I watched endless episodes of Dora The Explorer, I helped with homework, and I went to my first tea party."

Keen laughed, "Sounds like you and Rachael are having all the fun." a twinge a teasing in her voice.

Ressler shrugged, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Expect for the fact that I had to bring her to work every day. But Rach was good so Cooper said it was fine. She basically messed around with Aram the whole time."

"You know you could have left her with Red right?" After the _'no way in hell'_ look she got from Ressler, she laughed again, "Okay, nevermind. Well, in that case, you should probably get back to her."

"Probably." he sighed then leaned over to kiss her.

"Make sure you visit me later today." Keen murmured between kisses.

"Like anything could stop me." Ressler mumbled against her mouth before reluctantly breaking the kiss and leaving her side.

He walked out of the hospital room to find Reddington and Rachael talking in the hallway. Well, Red was just telling some dumbass kid-friendly story. _Probably the only one he has,_ Ressler thought. He was also thinking of an excuse to leave. He didn't like Rachael being around Reddington. Hell, _he_ didn't like being around Reddington. He preferred to keep his child away from criminals at all times but that was the slight downfall of dating Keen; it was inevitable.

"Donald!" Red stretched his arms wide to hug him, "How's my son?"

" _In law_ ," Ressler spat, "And not yet," he added bitterly.

"No one likes details," Red said dryly, "Besides, cheer up," he air-kissed Ressler's cheeks like the french do while making exaggerated 'mwuah' sounds, "You're wedding's in a month!"

Ressler almost dropped Rachael mid picking her up, "What? Liz and I haven't even started making plans yet." he said as he successfully finished lifting Rachael up.

"I know, that's why I hired the best wedding planners. They have been working _day_ and _night_ to make it perfect."

"Wha-"

"Oh, Donald," Red cut him off, "Can't you already see the Valencia roses draped across the pedestals? The white gold table napkins, the crystal embroidered champagne glasses, and only Goût de Diamants to be served in them." Red smiled at the possible future memory, "I even got us matching suits to embrace our new father and son theme,"

Ressler frowned.

Red continued, "Don't worry! The suits are light so it can bring out your eyes and maybe tuck some of your joyous personality in." he added with sarcasm tightly laced through each word.

"I don't have time for this," Ressler muttered as he mentally scolded himself for not finding an excuse to leave. "Why the hell was are you so excited anyway?"

"I have wanted this for a while," Red tilted his head and stared for a moment, "You're good for Lizzie, Donald. You really care for her and it shows in everything you do. As your father-in-law to be; I'm proud of you." he gave the slightest resemblance of a smile, "Lizzie could have done worse."

Ressler furrowed his eyebrows as he waited for some quirky insult to come, but it never did. He was surprised to hear such a compliment from Reddington.

Red shrugged, "She could have done better too, but..." he added just to annoy Ressler. It was all about the balance. "Well, good bye Donald. And Goodbye princess." he kissed Rachael's forehead.

"Bye grandpa." Rachael waved.

"Between you and I, I'm still not sure if I like Donald Duck or Dee Dee better." Red 'whispered' and Rachael giggled. Ressler rolled his eyes because he could obviously hear every word clearly. He was _holding_ Rachael for crying out loud. Ressler glared at Red then continued to walk out of the hospital. He swore that devil was sent to torment him forever.

xxx

Parking outside of the county jail, Ressler and Rachael got out of the car.

"Why are we here?" the little girl asked.

"Just some business," Ressler replied. He wasn't going to tell her about the details of the Brent situation. Maybe Liz would tell her one day.

Inside the building, he left Rachael by a chair in his sight and walked to the receptionist desk. He kept glancing back just to make sure she was still there. _It was okay to be a little paranoid, right?_

Ressler showed the receptionist his badge. That usually cut through a lot of the talking. "Brent Henderson was held in your jail about a month ago and I wanted to know if you had any information on where he might be now?"

The receptionist didn't start typing on their computer or open a drawer to find a file, they just stared sadly ahead. "Are you a family member?"

"Uh, friend." Ressler replied feeling a sour taste on his tongue from the word.

"I'm sorry, I thought everyone he was close too already knew."

"Knew what? Where is he?"

"A day after he was released, the police found him in his apartment with both of his wrist slit. It was attempted suicide. But he's OK now."

Ressler blinked numbly. _Brent tried to kill himself?_ Ressler never thought it would go this far, but he could cope with it.

Maybe a little too easily.

It was Liz that he was worried about. Brent still meant something to her. "The police said he was sobbing about someone named Elizbeth. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. I'm sorry if I'm just confusing you."

"No, it's fine." Ressler cleared his throat, "Do you know where he is now?"

The woman clicked something on the computer and loosely started reading from it, "He's at Clifton hospital now. Next week he's getting transferred out of the state to a mental hospital for attempted murder and attempted suicide." she shook her head, "I'm sorry about your friend."

Ressler only nodded.

He drove to Clifton hospital and this time asked Rachael to wait in the waiting room.

"...But why are we here," she asked as they stood in the hallway. "This isn't the hospital mom's at."

Ressler sighed, "I _know._ " they went over this already.

"Did you get lost?"

"No Rach."

"Then why are we here." Rachael repeated.

Ressler gave her two dollars, "Can you get yourself something from the vending machine?"

"Okay," she shrugged as she started down the hall. Ressler watched her safely reach her destination before walking into room 104.

Brent laid in his hospital bed with his eyes closed looking pale and lifeless with dark circles around his eyes. He was propped up against five pillows with a remote slackly in his hand as he seemingly squinted at the small tv that hang onto the wall.

Ressler couldn't tell if he was asleep or not.

Slowly and weakly, Brent turned his head towards Ressler and stared confused with clouded eyes. "Liz?" he croaked then blinked rapidly. When his eyes finally focused he groaned and turned away as if the sight of Ressler was repulsive.

"It's not sunshine to see you either." Ressler quipped.

Brent groaned again, "What are you doing here?"

"Liz asked me to check on you. I did." Ressler turned to leave then heard a faint 'wait'. He turned back around.

"Liz is worried about me?" Brent asked, coughed, then finally turned his head to look at Ressler again.

"You see, that's the thing about Liz, she always finds the good in everyone; most wanted criminals, grouchy asshole's, and even a husband who lied and betrayed her. So yeah, she still worries about you."

Brent glanced down seemingly deep in thought and looking ashamed at his previous actions. Ressler thought he had actually gotten through to him. "So are you gonna call off the engagement?"

Ressler pushed down a panic attack, " _No,_ " he growled.

Brent sunk into his pillows and made a quick glance at the button that calls the nurses. "What...what do I do then?"

"Nothing. If Liz finds out that you tried to kill yourself she'll be even more worried about you. You need to go to your mental hospital next week and never contact her again."

Brent frowned, "Well, what are you going to tell her?"

"That you're _just_ moving."

Brent felt tears start to brim so he gave a stiff nod and glanced out the window - a subtle way saying this conversation was over.

xxx

Rachael was sitting on a waiting chair swinging her legs back and forth as she ate a chocolate bar. "Are you done with your top secret stuff yet?" she asked when she seen Ressler walk out of the room.

He inwardly sighed, "Yeah."

She jumped off the chair, "Do you think we can see mom again?"

"I don't see why not."

Rachael grinned as she stuffed the rest of chocolate in her mouth then stretched her arms up. "Wif mwe up!" she said her mouth full.

"Alright, alright." Ressler laughed as he lifted her up.

xxx

Three days later Liz was released from the hospital.

Her stomach still hurt with certain movements, but the doctor gave her pain killers to ease it. The heavily wrapped bandages weren't bad either. Liz changed into her normal clothes and checked herself out of the hospital. It felt like checking out of a hotel as often as she found herself here. She was putting her slight belonging that she had with her -a book, a hair clip, phone, and watch- in a small bag when she heard; "Lizzie," from the doorway. Keen didn't have to look up to know it was Red. Needless to say, he had a distinguishable voice.

"What's that?" Keen asked when he set a box on the table next to the door.

"It's nice to see you walking again." Red said ignoring her question.

Keen shrugged, "It's nice to be out of here. I definitely won't miss this."

"And all along I thought it was Donald who couldn't sit still."

"I have Rachael to look forward too now." Keen replied. Even though she seen her every day, she missed that little girl so damn much.

"So, have you heard from that teacher?"

"No, He moved."

Red feigned slight surprise then firmly said: "Good."

"Good?"

"You didn't need his unnecessary drama, especially so close to your wedding."

Keen shook her head, it seemed like all Red talked about lately was preparing her for the big day and how far the wedding planners had come, "Why do you care so much?" she blurted out. It sounded meaner than she intended. Or maybe it didn't.

Red stared at her for a moment before grabbing the box off the table and handing it to her. She glanced suspiciously at Red then finally opened the box. Inside was a beautiful vintage wedding dress with modern lace at the top. She felt an odd...connection to it. She had half the mind to ask if it was her mother's then choose the other mind and didn't. "It's beautiful." Keen whisper almost to herself, "Thank you."

Red slightly smiled, "No need you thank me. Just make sure your future husband doesn't 'accidently' uninvite me from your wedding."

Keen laughed at the thought, "You'd just come anyway." she held the dress up in awe, "Where did you get it?"

"From someone special." Red said with finality and Keen knew she wasn't going to find out anything else.

After parting with Red, Keen drove home. That's what her house felt like with Ressler and Rachael in it; home. She could already see the pictures hanging on the walls, the smile on her daughter's face, and the great smell a home cooked meal. She was so glad Ressler knew how to cook. At least one of them did. She almost burnt the whole place down attempting one time. She felt a smile form on her face at the memory.

Keen unlocked her front door and walked in. She saw a huge 'Welcome Home' sign hanging across the living room wall along with balloons and other cute decorations.

Rachael was in the corner with her back turned to Keen on the highest step of a ladder straining to hang more decorations onto the wall.

"Rach," Ressler said as he walked out from the kitchen, "Don't climb on the ladder, you're gonna kill yourself."

"I'm trying to hang this up; everything _needs_ to be perfect when mom comes." Rachael said reaching even further over the ladder.

"And you _need_ to be alive." Ressler mocked as he took Rachael off the ladder and set her down.

Rachael giggled, "I think I'm gonna play piano when mom gets here...or maybe we should make up a dance routine and perform it for her."

"The second one is never happening."

They heard a small chuckle and looked at the front door to see Keen miserably failing to suppress the biggest smile. She tried to speak, but she was choked up. _This was perfect; they were,_ Keen thought as silent happy tears streaked her cheeks. Sure, they made her constantly worry about their safety because one jumps into danger like it's nothing and the other one just seems to attract it, but that just added the right balance of madness in her life. Without a single doubt, of everyone in the world, she would choose them over and over again.

xoxo

 **Hey! So I thought I'd ease into it, but I really don't know how. So let me just say that there is only one chapter left in this story, just preparing you!** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)


	17. Chapter 17

**I wanted to post this sooner, but I was lazy. (ಠ** **_ಠ** **)**

 **Anyways, reviewers of the last chapter:** Theblacklister23, Sugar1621, Jen, SaraBeth, Oddkatout, Ohhval, Guest.

 **Chapter Seventeen: "Next Stop; Forever"**

Keen stared into the mirror the way she figured any bride would do. This wasn't the first time she's tried on her wedding dress, but it would be the last time she tried it on as a Keen. She never gave any thought about getting married again, it wasn't something that appealed to her; Not after Tom.

But here she was, only minutes away from walking down the aisle and turning a huge chapter in her life. Keen smiled to herself as she blinked away tears. If emotions were a radio Liz's would be at full volume. Nerves, happiness, and several other feelings she couldn't place made her sink into a chair. Before she could comprehend what was happening, she found herself crying into her hands. It wasn't necessarily cheerful tears, but more like emotional tears, and a way to wash away everything in the past. She felt pathetic sobbing on a day like this, but she also felt the shell of her old self breaking away.

Light knocking startled her. "Come in." she said before glancing up to see Dembe in the doorway. She didn't feel like trying to hide the mess she became. It was her wedding day; she could cry if she wanted too.

"Red wanted me to check on you," Dembe said, "...And rightfully so." he added with humor.

Keen smiled, emphasizing her mascara stained cheeks, "Sorry, I'm just..." she searched for the right word, but couldn't find any. They all seemed to blend together in an awful cluster.

"It's okay to be nervous Elizabeth," he replied, seeing the obvious reason for her minor breakdown. "Just breathe." Keen let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd began holding.

"Thanks." she laughed dryly as she wiped her eyes. She looked into the mirror again, feeling like a lunatic with her ruined her make-up running down her face.

"I'm sure Agent Ressler already thinks you're beautiful." Dembe said, gesturing to the powder she began to put on.

Glancing over her shoulder, Keen smiled, "Thanks."

Dembe nodded, "Best of luck Elizabeth. Everyone is waiting for you." and he exited the room.

Keen sighed as she leaned back in her chair. _I'm getting married._ When she was alone all the nerves seemed to find her and latch onto her stomach again, mindlessly fluttering around. She never had to wonder why they called it 'butterflies' anymore.

xxx

"I'll never finish this if you don't be still."

"Sorry." Rachael mumbled.

"It's alright," Samar replied as she continued to fix Rachael's hair into an up-do. She slowly spun Rachael's chair around till it faced the mirror. "Do you like it?"

"I like it." Rachael smiled, "Is it done?"

"Almost..." Samar replied, carefully placing a white and pink bow onto the side of Rachael's hair. "There you go," she kissed the little girl's cheek, forehead, other cheek, then repeated. Rachael giggled from the kiss assault as her face became blotched with red lipstick. Samar chortled as she grabbed tissue's off the desk, "So how do you feel about your mom getting married?" she patted the tissue along the red stains on Rachael's face. Rachael hesitated and starting holding her necklace as if it would disappear upon letting go. Samar frowned, had she hit a bad nerve? When she finished cleaning Rachael's face she knelt down till she was at the little girl's height. Softly, Samar asked, "Honey what's wrong?"

Rachael avoided eye contact as she twirled her necklace in her thumb and forefinger. After a few seconds went by, she finally spoke so quietly that Samar had to lean closer to hear. "I know my mom is getting married, but what if he Dee Dee doesn't want me to call him dad? I mean, I know he's not my dad, but I really want him to be. What if he starts to hate me? Samar, I don't wanna lose-"

"Rachael, Rachael," Samar gently squeezed her shoulders. She wanted to chortle, but the little girl was clearly very serious. Rachael used to go in and out of different homes so Samar wasn't surprised that she had the fear of being unwanted. Samar sighed, she never considered herself a motherly figure, but she often saw Rachael as her own. She just hoped she wouldn't say anything that would make Rachael hysterical. "I'm sure he'd love whatever you call him." and it was the truth. Samar thought Ressler had been wrapped around Rachael's finger for a little while now.

Rachael looked up, "Really?"

"Really." Samar smiled, "How about we find our seats?" she added, making lighter conversation as she took Rachael's hand. "You're going to be the best flower girl."

xxx

Keen stepped outside, the slightest wind flushing against her face. The air smelled like pine, daisies, and another scent that she wasn't familiar with. The wedding's main colors were white and gold with patches of bright green from the grass. Large pillars stood tall with vines and roses laced around them as elegant fountains spouted water. Soft music played in the background, and with the sun beginning to set, giving off it's yellow glow over everything, it felt even more like a dream than Keen thought possible. No matter how many times she thought she wanted something simple; this was perfect.

Red met her at the start of the aisle. "I remember when I had that look in my eyes," he seemed to be daydreaming before he turned his attention to Keen. "Nervous Lizzie?"

"The walk seems so far away." she numbly replied.

Red smiled, "Good. You'll be replaying moments like this in your head forever."

With elbows intertwined, Red began to walk Keen down the aisle. She wondered how Ressler felt about that. The man he was hunting for years was walking his soon-to-be wife down the aisle. She guessed Ressler and Red were oddly close now...well as close as they could be. "You look beautiful Lizzie," Red whispered into the side of her veil. Keen nodded. She found it hard to reply, or smile, or acknowledge that anyone else was in the room besides Ressler. He was standing beside the preacher, patiently waiting for her under the arbor, looking just as nervous as she imagined she did. Somehow that calmed her, it was nice to know that she wasn't the only one.

"Thanks." Keen mumbled in a distant tone. Aware of the state she was in, Red stayed quiet for the rest of the short walk, giving her arm a friendly squeeze before returning to his seat.

Keen and Ressler stood before each other with flushed faces like jittery teen crushes on prom night.

"Guess we're both a bucket of nerves." Ressler admitted with a half-smile. Keen almost laughed until she realized the preacher had just opened his bible and begun to speak.

The ceremony went by fairly quickly as they both repeated the words that they were told too. The vows were said carefully and heartfelt. They would have forgotten other people were there if it weren't for the occasional light clapping, but even with that, Keen's mind was blurred with emerald eyes, rosy tinted cheeks, freckles, and ginger-blonde hair until the final 'I do'.

Liz and Don were doing the traditional wedding slow dance as elegant music played in the background. It was something that they both could have passed on. Ressler didn't like to dance; he claimed he was awkward and it would only give Red something else to pick on him about. And while Liz actually liked dancing, she didn't care for being the center of attention, having all of their friends and family watch them. It made what was supposed to be romantic rather odd.

"Can we stop now?"

"After the song." Liz hissed, she thought it was rude to stop in the middle of a song.

"I wasn't made for this." Ressler muttered.

"I don't know, you only stepped my feet twice." she said sarcastically.

Ressler chortled, "I'm sorry my lady." and he kissed her. Liz smiled at the classic reference as she leaned her head against his shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. Neither of them paid any attention to the slow song ending as another upbeat one started and other people joined the dance floor, including Samar, Aram, Red, and Rachael. They all switched partners at some point, and after a few dances, (the last one being with Rachael) Liz had settled into a chair watching others get drunk, dance, laugh and enjoy themselves. Later on Liz just watched her daughter play the piano. Rachael had asked to play at the wedding weeks ago, and of course, Liz couldn't say no.

"Mom!" Rachael yelled as she ran towards Liz after she had finished her last song.

"Sweetie," Liz laughed as scooped her daughter up by the torso, lifting her high in the air before setting her back down on her feet. "You were so great up there. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah," Rachael smiled, "Are you?"

Liz laughed. A sarcastic laugh. Any answer would just seem like a big understatement. She never felt better in her entire life; it was great and scary at the same time. Arms hugged around her waist and she felt a slight nibble on her ear. She leaned back into what she knew was Ressler's embrace.

"Hey you." Ressler said. She could hear him smiling.

"Hey yourself." she turned around and softly kissed him.

"Ohh love birds." Aram teased as he came off the dance floor with Samar.

"Us? We saw those moves you two were doing." Ressler joked, causing Samar to roll her eyes and Aram to blush.

They kept up the light banter and created small talk as Rachael went off to play with some of the kids at the wedding. The party continued a couple more hours in full force before it started to die down around midnight, because people who had to work tomorrow left, and drunks went home in cabs. Even Dembe had to take Red home because...well, Red was a bad drunk. Only 'the team' and a few other people were still partying.

"Do you think we should take her home?" Liz asked, noticing Rachael was the only kid there. "It's way past her bedtime."

Ressler glanced at the table next to them and seen Rachael eating what had to be her tenth slice of cake. She would probably be sick as anything by tomorrow; throwing up, feeling ill, stomach aches, and he would be there to take care of her. She finished her last bite of her cake and start amusing herself with the table napkins.

"Naw, she's fine." Ressler replied to Liz with a smirk and she rolled her eyes, thinking the exact opposite.

Ressler went over to Rachael -who was now content on poking a million holes through her napkin with her fork- and held out his hand. "Care to dance young lady?"

Rachael nodded as she took his hand.

"You know, you're really talented on the piano. I'm proud of you, Rach."

Inwardly, Rachael was beaming. "Thanks," she hesitated, "...Dad."

 _Dad._

It was as if everything had sunk in right that very moment. It was a tough, long road, but he had just married Liz. They were finally together. No more wondering, no more hoping. And as a bonus, he would be a father to this beautiful little girl. He realized he was staring in space and hadn't replied yet.

All the blood had drained out of Rachael's face and she took a step back. She had taken his silence the wrong way. This was the last thing Ressler wanted. "No, Rach, don't cry." he urged. Her face was twisted with hurt as tears began to surface in her eyes. He would have rather defused a bomb then seen her like this. He had no idea what to say. It wasn't like he was a parent before or ever had experience around children. This was foreign ground and a lot like defusing a bomb actually, cut one wrong wire, -or in this case word- and everything could explode in your face. And right now, he was cutting blindly.

"Rachael," he pleaded, feeling himself getting choked up. He didn't know where to start so that's where he started. "I know when I first met you, you probably thought that I hated you, but I didn't. I was jealous. I was jealous that Liz would only need you; that she'd only want you. And I know being jealous of a four year old is pretty shameful, but I need you to know that I love you now. More than anything, I love you Rach. I'm sorry I never told you that before. I'm sorry I-"

Rachael interrupted him with a hug. Moments passed before she finally spoke, "I love you too."

Liz watched her husband and daughter from a distance. She couldn't hear anything and her mind was a little hazed from the drinks to want to know. All she knew was that Rachael was giggling like crazy as Ressler lifted her up and spun her around. Liz didn't think it was possible for them to get any more adorable, but alas, they did. Samar approached Liz with a glass of champagne. "Here." she offered.

"Thanks." Liz replied, taking the glass.

"Don't tell anyone I said this, but I was rooting for you two when I first seen you guys."

Liz hid a smile as she sipped her drink. Were her and Ressler's connection obvious way back then?

"So do you guys have any plans for a honeymoon?"

Keen shrugged, feeling smug as ever. It was probably the alcohol. "Our next stop is forever, Samar. We don't have any plans." The women exchanged smiles.

xxx

 **[Two Weeks Later]- The Blacksite**

It was another normal day at work and Red had come in giving information on their new blacklister.

"Viktor Albrecht; a German trafficker born and raised in Thuringia. He sells human organs on the black market and imports them to China. Since it's on the black market, police and the FBI have never had enough information to prove this. However, I recently found out that he owns a low-key butcher shop." Red looked at Cooper, "I don't think he just keeps frozen goods there."

"Aram, bring up the location." Cooper frowned.

"Got it." Aram replied as it popped up on the big screen.

"Agent Ressler," Cooper began,

"Yes sir?" was the simultaneous answer from Liz and Don. They exchanged glances then looked at their boss again. The whole room seemed to get slight smirks on their faces.

"The Ressler's." Cooper shook his head, giving a small chortle, "I'll have to get used to that."

 _The End_

 **! Thanks for staying with this story till the final chapter. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing. I love each and every one of you so much! :3**

 **And for those who will ask; I** ** _might_** **make a one-shot of how the Ressler family is doing.**

 **But btw, who's excited for season three?! I am.**

 **Bye! xoxo (^-^)/**


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